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Do you have Borderline Personality Disorder? This new Exchange has been developed so we can encourage each other, share tips to get through those down days, and/or just vent.
Latest diagnosis bpd
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An_241522 posted:
had a traumatic childhood (sexual, emotional, and physical) abuse. but my problems came out in various ways as a kid, for example i wouldn't pay attention in class or i acted out in class. that was until i changed schools. i became withdrawn but yet outgoing so no one detected anything. When i got in high school i started getting depressed and stuff so i talked to people, then i started cutting my wrists and legs. at first no one noticed but then i started with the suicide threats and not coming home from work on time. i was put on meds and diagnosised with depression. Then i became bipolar and depressed. i was hospitalized 3 times in my senior year of high school. i was fine from then until i turned 24yrs old when in the winter the depression hit real hard for some reason and i ended up back in the hospital for overdosing and cutting. That year i became a nurse and obtained a job and loved it. i worked long hard hours and the following winter i was back in the hospital for overdosing with the actual intent to die. i was hospitalized once every month from february until august this year for one reason or another. i was diagnosised with bpd, pmdd, depression, bipolar, migraines and who knows what else. in the spring they had me on so many meds i couldn't walk and would fall on the sidewalk for no reason. now i've been hospital free since august however i keep up with a shrink and therapist who i trust very much. i still have the days when i want to die but i think of my half siblings and how much i love them and i wouldn't want my dad to have to explain to them what happened to me. they already hated seeing me in the hospital and didn't understand what i did to stay there. i hate winter bc of the lack of light but i'm trying my best to keep moving in the right direction and stay out of the hospital. i have myself another nursing job (not in my field of choice but its a job and has me feeling useful). The key to suceeding is taking one day at a time, and looking on the brighter side of everything, even if life just threw you a curveball and hit you in the nuts. i have to find joy in the simple mundane stupid things of life or i would not make it through the day. and yes i'm in my late 20's and still sleep with a stuffed animal and security blanket but that is what helps keep me sane and i will continue to do so until i feel i do not need them.
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godlim responded:
The winter is always hard for me as well. Bipolar, tends to go in cycles with the seasons anyways, just seems to be more severe. And the lack of natural vitamin D and serotonin, doesnt help are poor little brains cope in the winter. Sometimes, life is a daily struggle, I feel like that often, I feel like dying often. All I can say, is that if you are in treatment, the more you work hard and are committed to getting better, the better results you will have. Keep strong my friend, we need people like you in the medical field, compassionate people are the best for everyone. And you, certainly fit the bill. All the best.
-Kirsta
You cannot love anyone with your whole heart, if you do not first love yourself.


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