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    Do you have Borderline Personality Disorder? This new Exchange has been developed so we can encourage each other, share tips to get through those down days, and/or just vent.
    New and needing some info
    az330 posted:
    Good Evening everyone,

    I have recently been diagnosed with boarderline personality disorder along with other things. My pdoc has drawn a new treatment plan for me. She wants me to go to DBT skills classes. I am feeling a bit of anxiety about attending classes or just being in a group setting. Has anyone ever gone thru these? Can I do these not in a group setting? I guess I just need some info. I am not big on labels and don't quite know how to feel about this diagnosis. I feel a bit leary about it all. Any help or info would be greatly appreciated
    Thank You!

    marysings responded:
    Hi AZ! There is a TON of information on the internet about Borderline and DBT. There is one website loaded with information that I love to use. Start there, take your time, and ask me any and all questions you want to.

    I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
    lovely_lemon_tree replied to marysings's response:
    Here I'd written out a long, detailed description of DBT and my experiences with it (5 years, not kidding) but it's apparently been deleted.

    Great sigh.

    In any case, just wanted to say hello to a familiar face.
    az330 replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
    Thank you ladies for your response. Its nice to be welcomed by some familiar faces....
    The one question I have is do you have to do these classes in a group setting? I have trust issues and the thought of being in a group setting makes me very panicky on the inside. I always have high anxiety just being around alot of people.

    I recently checked myself into the hospital and had a better than expected time there. They gave me lots of DBT classes in my area. I don't know if you ladies have been admitted into the hospital but when you got out did you not feel anything? I feel like a robot with no feeling.
    I don't know how to take my diagnosis either. I guess I am still in a bit of denial? Sorry if this is jumbled. I feel alone like no one can relate to how I feeling or lack there of?

    marysings replied to az330's response:
    Learning anything in a group setting is often the best way. You can take part in the conversation or simply sit back and listen. As far as sharing - you should not be expected to share about your illnesses/diagnosis. If you are asked, simply reply that you don't want to talk about it. That's where WebMD comes in handy - come here and vent, talk, ask questions. This is your safe place (besides your counselors office).

    I'm glad you had a good experience in the hospital. I hope you took lots of notes about DBT.

    And DON'T wait until you have learned all the skills. Use them as you learn them.

    Your robot feeling could be from an increase of meds. Wait another month or so and then make an appointment with your pdoc and explain what you are feeling. Sometimes it's better to be laid-back than hyper.

    Don't let this recent diagnosis overwhelm you. Take one day at a time.

    I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
    lovely_lemon_tree replied to marysings's response:
    Robot feeling could be dissociation. It's basically the mind's way of simply cutting itself off from things it can't handle. And if it can't handle emotions right now, it may just say "nope" and that's that. Sometimes people describe it as feeling really "out of it" or "spacey."


    Ironically, it seems that a lot of people cut to stop dissociation. I do it for the opposite reason: to induce it. When I'm going through so much tension that I just have to do something to hurt myself, I'm looking for a way to stop the feelings. In a way, I envy you... I have a very difficult time with feelings.

    Go figure.
    az330 replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
    Ladies- I have started looking at some information on the internet. Thank you for the website Mary. I am trying to take it one day at a time. My tdoc said that the robot feeling probably because of the med adjustment and to give it some time. I am going to look into joining a class this week. I have sent out some emails trying to get into a class. I am going to try to be open minded to this. I hope it will help. I have such a teribble time controlling my emotions. I don't know how to handle them most of the time.

    My arms are cut up pretty bad. I think I am trying to feel pain and that is why I cutting. I have been SH myself to release emotion. In the past I have used it as a release and to cope with my emotions. This is new to me. I am afraid to share this with my tdoc. I know I need to be honest with her. I still feel numb. I feel like my body is here but mentally I have no clue where I have gone
    lovely_lemon_tree replied to az330's response:


    My arms are really, really bad as well. I know they are, because the scars have actually become disfiguring. I get a lot of shocked glances, and either I respond with hiding my arms or wearing a long-sleeved shirt.

    I think you should tell your therapist. If you have a Borderline diagnosis the cutting shouldn't come as a surprise to her. (I would think it's actually ... expected?) They're not going to whisk you off to the hospital just because of that. (Listen to me, I'm saying "just" because of cutting. I don't mean to make it sound like it's not serious, because it is, it's just that so many borderlines self-harm, they aren't going to take it as a suicide attempt and take you away.)

    The body is often the target of our rage and our fear. Someday, hopefully, we will all be able to look back on these days and say that they were hard, but we learned a lot and we can continue to learn to live in a more healthy way.
    az330 replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
    I did speak to my therapist. We have been doing 2 sessions a week because I need the extra time. We talked about healthy coping methods. I need to just listen to my body and just decompress for bit. I am going to get into a DBT class. I read some information about it and I think it will be very beneficial to me. The numbness I feel right now I am ok with. I cant seem to be on the SA forum right now because it triggering to me. I am going to take it one day at a time. I am far from being healed but I have to remember to just breathe.
    An_243417 replied to az330's response:
    Hey, Dbt is very promising!! I was in outpatient for a year after being in a psyche ward for a while. I came from a very empty place!!! but DBT helped alot! The reason why DBT is in groups is because you can gain alot by hearing other people's stories and ideas and tips. DBT needs to be in groups in order to be as effective as possible. You can google dbt online and it will tell you the ideas and excersizes that you will encounter in Dialectical behavioral therapy! good luck to you!!! Just remember there is hope!!!! I know people are pesimistic and say stupid things about bpd, but when theres a will there's a way!
    az330 replied to An_243417's response:
    Thank you so much for your encouragement. The group setting makes me nervous but I do want to get better and learn to cope with my illness....


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