Borderline Personality Disorder Exchange
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Do you have Borderline Personality Disorder? This new Exchange has been developed so we can encourage each other, share tips to get through those down days, and/or just vent.
I'm a newb to this board, and am utterly lost, and i don't want to do this alone anymore, how many can say the same?
Butterflykis posted:
It's taken me a few years to get over the fear, pride, and stubbornness, to be able to write on one of these. I was diagnosed a few years ago with Bipolar Disorder in this dual diagnosis treatment center that i was attending, for the 3rd time around then. For a long time i ignored it, thought it was just a problem when i was using, doesn't work like that though i have well learned. i was diagnosed again just a year and a half ago, and it only took about 10 mins for these psychiatrists, to whom i had just met, to inform me without hesitation that its not BD, and that i without a doubt suffer from BPD. When i really looked into it, all those "why's" and complete misunderstandings/confusions that i always asked myself got a little bit more clear.... I've been in and out of drug rehabs/facilities 13 times, moved back and forth from canada to california, checkn out school here and there, try to keep a job, or even friends for that matter. i'm only 21 right now, im only a baby in some eyes, and it scares the living hell out of me that im supposed to live for tech. atleast another 30- 40 years.. i've been struggling with BPD since the age of 9, and i've been a drug addict since 12, i know there's hope for me, and i have faith and hope that i won't behave/think this way the rest of my life. im surrounded with people that are almost nothing like me, and its been like that for the last year and a half since i left cali along with amazing support. Right now i feel deathly alone, hopeless, and completely worthless and meaningless, and a big part of me really feels like that, bc im the one that pretty much made it happen. im lost, and right now, im dieing to know that im not the only human being who somehow thinks and acts the way i do, and am not the only walking contradicition... If anyone wants to reply and say something, im all ears, and also would answer any question openly. well, if anyone is reading this, thank you! - Wandering Soul-
6 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:I'm a newb to this board, and am utterly lost, and i don't want to do this alone anymore, how many can say the same?It's taken me a few years to get over the fear, pride, and stubbornness, to be able to write on one of these. I was diagnosed a few years ago with Bipolar Disorder in this dual diagnosis treatment center that i was attending, for the 3rd time around then. For a long time i ignored it, thought it was just a problem when i was using, doesn't work like that though i have well learned. i was diagnosed again just a year and a half ago, and it only took about 10 mins for these psychiatrists, to whom i had just met, to inform me without hesitation that its not BD, and that i without a doubt suffer from BPD. When i really looked into it, all those "why's" and complete misunderstandings/confusions that i always asked myself got a little bit more clear.... I've been in and out of drug rehabs/facilities 13 times, moved back and forth from canada to california, checkn out school here and there, try to keep a job, or even friends for that matter. i'm only 21 right now, im only a baby in some eyes, and it scares the living hell out of me that im supposed to live for tech. atleast another 30- 40 years.. i've been struggling with BPD since the age of 9, and i've been a drug addict since 12, i know there's hope for me, and i have faith and hope that i won't behave/think this way the rest of my life. im surrounded with people that are almost nothing like me, and its been like that for the last year and a half since i left cali along with amazing support. Right now i feel deathly alone, hopeless, and completely worthless and meaningless, and a big part of me really feels like that, bc im the one that pretty much made it happen. im lost, and right now, im dieing to know that im not the only human being who somehow thinks and acts the way i do, and am not the only walking contradicition... If anyone wants to reply and say something, im all ears, and also would answer any question openly. well, if anyone is reading this, thank you! - Wandering Soul-
hobit24 responded:
I know how you feel. I was just diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in july. I feel so lost alone, and cofused all the time. I have been diagnosed with major depression sence I was ten. I really don't have much to offer for advise sence I am still struggling myself, but I will tell you that you are not alone. maybe we can help each other out as we learn to cope. I wish you the best.
Report This| Share this:I'm a newb to this board, and am utterly lost, and i don't want to do this alone anymore, how many can say the same?I know how you feel. I was just diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in july. I feel so lost alone, and cofused all the time. I have been diagnosed with major depression sence I was ten. I really don't have much to offer for advise sence I am still struggling myself, but I will tell you that you are not alone. maybe we can help each other out as we learn to cope. I wish you the best.
I was diagnosed 21 years ago, and it does get easier to deal with. The only thing I really hate is that the behaviors can crop up any time, and you have to be aware enough to catch the behaviors before they can be destructive. The best therapy to pursue that is geared towards BPD is dialectal behavior therapy. I never had this- it didn't exist when I was diagnosed, but I still want to find some one that specializes in it to learn more. I just wanted you both to know that you are most def not alone, and that it does get better. It does take time and a lot of work though, so be prepared for that. Good luck to both of you, and if you have any questions, I will try to help in any way I can.
No matter how high the throne, there sits but an ass. Voltaire
Report This| Share this:I'm a newb to this board, and am utterly lost, and i don't want to do this alone anymore, how many can say the same?I was diagnosed 21 years ago, and it does get easier to deal with. The only thing I really hate is that the behaviors can crop up any time, and you have to be aware enough to catch the behaviors before they can be destructive. The best therapy to pursue that is geared towards BPD is dialectal behavior therapy. I never had this- it didn't exist when I was diagnosed, but I still want to find some one that specializes in it to learn more. I just wanted you both to know that you are most def not alone, and that it does get better. It does take time and a lot of work though, so be prepared for that. Good luck to both of you, and if you have any questions, I will try to help in any way I can.
An_188804 responded:
MS.BTRFLYKIS, Here I am behind this projection,picture,device,staring @your beautiful picture,my mouth wide open as i read ur "thoughts""apologies""explanations", all i can do is stare into those eyes, SWEET GIRL right now stop.. grab ur compact,hand held mirror,what ever is closest& look deep into ur own eyes just for a moment.Capture only ur first thought, write it down,hurry before ur 5 other thought monsters invade that pretty lil head. Close ur eyes again,take a deep breath,inhale through ur nose ,exhale through ur mouth. Dont think just breath,slowly,nothing to think about... nothing to think about...wiggle those toes a little, wiggle ur fingers a little ,when u feel it&U WILL FEEL IT! open ur eyes,look into that mirror one more time,Now tell me sumthing?
Report This| Share this:I'm a newb to this board, and am utterly lost, and i don't want to do this alone anymore, how many can say the same?<i>MS.BTRFLYKIS, Here I am behind this projection,picture,device,staring @your beautiful picture,my mouth wide open as i read ur "thoughts""apologies""explanations", all i can do is stare into those eyes, SWEET GIRL right now stop.. grab ur compact,hand held mirror,what ever is closest& look deep into ur own eyes just for a moment.Capture only ur first thought, write it down,hurry before ur 5 other thought monsters invade that pretty lil head. Close ur eyes again,take a deep breath,inhale through ur nose ,exhale through ur mouth. Dont think just breath,slowly,nothing to think about... nothing to think about...wiggle those toes a little, wiggle ur fingers a little ,when u feel it&U WILL FEEL IT! open ur eyes,look into that mirror one more time,Now tell me sumthing? <br /></i>
taminenator responded:
This is the hardest phase of the illness. In my early 20's I felt such rage at myself for being such a doop and letting people get by with treating me so horribly. I wanted to murder myself and I tried with all my heart to do so. I almost succeeded; then I realized that I didn't want to die, I just wanted the pain to go away or be bearable. Life got better when I hit 30 and now I'm 44 and while I still have struggles; most of the time life is pretty good. I really want you to hang with it and not give up on yourself; don't think about the 30-60 yrs you have left - concentrate on the here and now. Live today, that is all you really have anyway, just today; that's all you have to get through. Please get into a good DBT program (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), it has worked wonders for me in such a short period of time. I pray for your success.
Report This| Share this:I'm a newb to this board, and am utterly lost, and i don't want to do this alone anymore, how many can say the same?This is the hardest phase of the illness. In my early 20's I felt such rage at myself for being such a doop and letting people get by with treating me so horribly. I wanted to murder myself and I tried with all my heart to do so. I almost succeeded; then I realized that I didn't want to die, I just wanted the pain to go away or be bearable. Life got better when I hit 30 and now I'm 44 and while I still have struggles; most of the time life is pretty good. I really want you to hang with it and not give up on yourself; don't think about the 30-60 yrs you have left - concentrate on the here and now. Live today, that is all you really have anyway, just today; that's all you have to get through. Please get into a good DBT program (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), it has worked wonders for me in such a short period of time. I pray for your success.
prasannaforu responded:
Please watch psychologist John Breeding video on mental illness and disorders. We still have a ray of hope for almost all the problems. Nothing is unsolvable. I don't know if it is appropriate to ask. Do you want to be my friend.
Report This| Share this:I'm a newb to this board, and am utterly lost, and i don't want to do this alone anymore, how many can say the same?Please watch psychologist John Breeding video on mental illness and disorders. We still have a ray of hope for almost all the problems. Nothing is unsolvable. I don't know if it is appropriate to ask. Do you want to be my friend.
dbt pat harvey foundation they can hook u up w doctors and locations and have cool web site
Report This| Share this:I'm a newb to this board, and am utterly lost, and i don't want to do this alone anymore, how many can say the same?dbt pat harvey foundation they can hook u up w doctors and locations and have cool web site
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