Borderline Personality Disorder Exchange

Hey guys, 26 year old, intelligent male here. 5'10, 185lbs, I work out alot, muscular/athletic build.

Anyway, For the past fews years it has gotten worse, but for the longest time I never really felt happy with myself or self-image. Now,as I age (26 as stated previously), when I look in the mirror, 80% of the time, I "look" sick to myself like I have some disease. My skin is kind of blotchy, pale, and my head looks big, and my hairline looks like its going back, I know it sounds stupid or like I'm overreacting but it really bothers me so much it's actually insane. My self image is so important to me; almost like I couldn't be happy if I didn't look atleast "descent", yet I feel like a freak sometimes and like it's getting worse. I don't even feel ugly, I actually feel like I look "sick" like some disease.

anyway, I workout so much, I eat right, I take vitamins, protein, supplements, I get a haircut, wax my eyebrows, buy expensive clothes, I'm well groomed and shower everyday,I get straight A's (pursuing a doctorate degree), yet Like I said I am just sad sometimes I feel like it's all for nothing.

And please don't tell me "look at your accomplishments!"; I'm honestly too smart for that "childish" lift me up/fake compliment. I'm very perceptive and realize the true nature of reality which is life then death. All our actions as humans we go unnoticed one day, and are atoms in our body will return to the Universe. Obviously my mental perception a reality is important, but that is the true nature of reality and I'm a truth seeker, even if it hurts.,..

So anyway, I don't know what to do anymore. I hoped I would get some responses from people on this forum since it's medically related, though I know it's tought to give opinions/diagnosis someone over a forum.

It's really weird too, because sometimes I feel like atleast a good looking guy on Earth too some days. But surely, I cannot morph from ugly to good looking?

I don't want any recognition or compliments or "your OK looking", "chill out man, see the world for its beauty" type comments.

I really am just wondering why all my guy friends are in relationships and go party on weekends, while I am single and sit in my room pondering the most absurd B.S.??? Why does my mind do this? I am even INTELLIGENT enough to look at myself and realize how insane it is for me, as a MALE to ponder my looks at this AGE, I mean, come on! I'm supposed to be confident by now, the "confused" teenager age is long behind me. I can only assume I clearly retain defected DNA and thus it has produced but another deficient and failure of an organism; one that by which evolution which follow that by lack of reproduction - my genetic material is washed away. Foolish it sounds, I know, but it's science.

If anyone has comments, chime in. Here is a picture I took about 1 1/2 week ago before going to the gym. I had some good sleep and look faily decent here I presume.
http://i691.photobucket.com/albums/vv273/XxAlbertoxX/DSC00761edit.jpg

I'm discrete. I don't even like people knowing how I think. It bothers me for people to know what's going on in my mind, and I really don't like posting here, but I feel like I need some guidance or help - I feel like I can't get that from my parents (sadly) anymore or anyone for that matter. Truth of the matter is, I don't have any friends....