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Do you have Borderline Personality Disorder? This new Exchange has been developed so we can encourage each other, share tips to get through those down days, and/or just vent.
Samatha posted:
I've done trial and error to find the right medication for me, I don't feel like it's working at all. And the friggen doctor that gives me the medication hasn't even requested a follow up! So what happens when I run out!? What IF it DID work for me!? What would happen after they're all gone? Just friggen deal with it. I can't ever get an appointment with a doctor when I need one most! When I do see someone they don't help. Or it feels like they don't have time or they aren't really listening. Lately I have been severely depressed, I've been having really bad mood swings, my boyfriend is exhausted from it. I feel like I'm drowning. I try to keep it together, I'm trying to be normal live normally but I CANT. I want to scream! I want to be alone in a dark place. I just want to be normal. I feel like I'm sinking and everyone is giving up on me. My boyfriend gets the brunt of everything I'm going through. I just want to scream. I want to be alone.. I feel like my head is going to explode. I just want to run and scream! I need help! But nobody has the time to help me!!!! I can't take this any longer!!! I'm drained from trying to be FRIGGEN NORMAL! I can't pretend anymore! I just can't take it! This medication that is supposed to take away the main problem, is NOT doing anything! I'm sinking! I can't talk to my boyfriend because I've driven him away with my craziness. And he doesn't know how else to help me. Telling me it will be okay just doesn't cut it anymore! I'm sinking! I feel like I'm suffocating! My life is turning upside down! I've been hiding in myself for years and I'm out of energy trying to be normal. I can't take this. I can't take it!! I have no one to talk to! No one to help me! This medication isn't helping me! I can't hold on any longer! I'm weak!! I can't take this! I can't hold it together anymore!
marysings responded:
I really hope you can find a different med doctor and a different therapist.

I can sympathize because that is what I have struggled with self-harm or suicide since this summer. Oh my, it really is hard to deal with those feelings. I spent some time this fall in the hospital and they changed my meds but that resulted in some wicked side effects.

I hope you are still around. My apologies for not being here earlier this week, I've been up and down so much, I am exhausted!

I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.

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