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Do you have Borderline Personality Disorder? This new Exchange has been developed so we can encourage each other, share tips to get through those down days, and/or just vent.
My family thinks i'm the devils child (or that's what it feels like)
sarajosie1991 posted:
So, I was diagnosed with BPD in July 2012. I have a feeling my father has it as well and it was passed down to me because I have always been extremely emotional and sensitive. My father refuses to believe anything is wrong with him...and his mother (my grandmother who died before I was born) was constantly in and out of the psych ward. My parents divorced when I was 12 years old and I am now 21 and living in my mother's basement with my step-father and my older brother.

This past New Years Eve I went to a party with a bunch of friend (all good friends who aren't doing drugs or anything). My mom knew about it and I had told her I wasn't gonna be home cuz Tony's (one of my friends) mom said no one was allowed to leave since we were drinking. Smart mom right? Well, I had too much to drink but I was safe and all and nothing terrible happened but I was pretty hung over the next day. I was suppose to go see extended family to exchange gifts but I wasn't up to it and thought it would be inappropriate since that side of my family are all grounded Christians and would see me as some kind of alcoholic. I texted my mom and told her I was hung over (thought being honest would be the best way to go) and that I wasn't gonna be able to be home in time.

I decided to spend the rest of the day with my bf of whom I had asked out on New Years. He had liked me for 2 years and I finally gave him to ok. We hung out all day till about 9:30 when my mom called fuming mad cuz I didn't tell her when I was gonna be home. So I headed home then and when I got home I was ambushed by my family who told me what and irresponsible child I was for not keeping my promise to see my family and not telling them when I'd be home. I lost my temper and threw a chair at my mother (which is something I have NEVER done in my life because I have never been an angry person until about year ago). I was told I was an alcoholic for drinking on New Years Eve and that I was probably doing drugs (which i haven't done in a long time) and all that kind of crap. My mother claims she sent me a text asking when I would be home but I never got it. My phone was taken away and they now complain about communication issues and crap.

Bottom line is that I did was I thought was right and smart and next time I know not to promise anything to those people. I do nothing right in my parents eyes...I have come a long way from where I used to be and no one ever tells me that they're proud or anything. I'd like to know your thought on my situation. thanks for taking the time to read.
loveable4sure responded:
I have the habit of being all or nothing when you said that you know better than to make plans with them you are reacting with a way to try to protect yourself. I have that same reaction. I am extremely independant and when I trust people and they let me down I tell myself that I will never trust anyone again. The all or nothing side of bpd.
The hardest part of bpd is that people just don't understand how they let me down. To them it is no big deal but to me it is life or death. The reality is that it is no big deal and what gets me livid is not really life changing but to me it is a pattern of being disappointed that continues.
I'm working on trying to let things roll off my back but when the nerve is struck I react. Luckily I have been able to keep my temper in my head but it is very uncomfortable.

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