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Do you have Borderline Personality Disorder? This new Exchange has been developed so we can encourage each other, share tips to get through those down days, and/or just vent.
Mom of BPD Daughter
MentalHealthMom posted:
Hi. My 17 year old daughter has not been officially diagnosed yet, but I think we may finally be on the right track for therapy (after 5 years of searching).
I need to know how to "speak her language", fully understand what she is saying/not saying.
I need to know how to support her without giving-in to her.
I need to know how to be the Mom she needs me to be.
I'm sorry for all the "I needs", but I'm really struggling with finding appropriate support for me in all this as well.
Thoughts, feelings, suggestions?
lovely_lemon_tree responded:
Learning how to speak to "a borderline" is difficult -- I know, because most of my friends are borderlines and I have been diagnosed as borderline myself.

I find that I don't respond well to the "tough love" statements or attitudes. It is particularly upsetting to me. I also don't deal well with ultimatums. I find that a calm, reasonable approach is what gives me the best results. Don't be heartless, either -- emotions are important and we borderlines apparently also feel them more intensely than others do. Be empathetic and understanding and make your daughter feel that she is loved, important, and understood.

Each of us is different, but that's what has helped me.

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