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Do you have Borderline Personality Disorder? This new Exchange has been developed so we can encourage each other, share tips to get through those down days, and/or just vent.
MISTAKES
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den51 posted:
I MADE A LOT OF THEM. GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL TO WEEKS AGO. I THOUGHT THINGS WERE GOING TO GET BETTER AND I WOULD BE FREE. I FELT STRONG ENOUGH, BUT IT IS THE SAME OLD STORY. PEOPLE KNOWS WHAT I THINK AND FEEL. THERE RIGHT AND I AM WRONG.I AM SO SAD, BECAUSE I AM NOT MEAN. BUT WHAT I DO I KNOW
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sittingbull594 responded:
It's hard I know. Give yourself some grace and try to move on. I may stir your pot I don't know but don't want to ingage in something like that so my post here is short. Sorry you're hurting so much. I also posted this on the board I met you at.

Its all about perspectives. We all think differently that's all. Nothing wrong with that . Huggers
May God walk before you. b.e.f.
 
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den51 replied to sittingbull594's response:
came out wanting to better, then i came with out wanting more. i was hopeful and wanted to work really hard. but between my pdoc and other people, sb you know what i am talking about i am not being allowed to move on, this is causing me to live with more self hate.. i had three doctors tell that i can beat this because i dont talk like i am mentally ill
 
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mandybutterflykiss replied to den51's response:
Dem,

Perhaps if you spelled out what you "needed" and "wanted" from the "other people," then they would have a better understanding into how they can help you move on.

SB,

Am I hearing correctly, that you are acknowledging Dem's hurt and struggles, think she is being too hard on herself, and that there is no right or wrong way to think? If so, I concur.

We, thankfully, do all have different perspectives on life. Imagine how boring it would be if we were all alike. I, for one, am thankful there are not others "like" me out there. God help them if there were. lol.

I love you both.

Hugs
 
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sittingbull594 replied to mandybutterflykiss's response:
I have an extremely hard time understanding what you're saying dem and is why at times I've avoided you. I also don't know what you want ?? I guess same thing as I a little understanding and a foot up if needed or a kick in the arse if needed too.

Please I am asking you as a personal favor to me to NOT bring up Caprice anymore. What is done is done and We really don't need to digress OK?? thanks in advance.
Of course I acknowledge Dems hurt and frustration and not understanding. All of us have these things its jus when you're borderline (I'm understanding you're borderline dem) we take it a whole lot more serious and don't know what is going on sometimes.

I have a lot on my plate and am not around that often like I used to be before. Hang in there both of you and JUST take it one day at a time. I was hysterical this morning and now i'm calm.... See how things go???!! huggers
May God walk before you. b.e.f.
 
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den51 replied to sittingbull594's response:
ok first off i was not coming here back here to start anything, i was trying to move on with my life, if you and there others would have time to read the board. i spoke about myself very little, i was trying to get you all to come back to the board, people like you otw and the others that have been here a lot longer then me, the only one that was written here was the one to sg, the only reason i bought her up was because i ran out ideas, i thought that if you would be reminded of how strong you all that it would help restart the board, because of your love for her, i worked my tail off for that board in three and half years , because you were all not just names on a board you were my family and i loved you all dearly. but that board id become toxic to me, you all gave me a second chance, but not a third, i am trying to rebuild who i am, i no longer can do it on that board, as far as writing on the start of this that was not to have this talk , it was a need to vent, you take care of your self sb
 
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sittingbull594 replied to den51's response:
see exactly as I thought. the context of what was said again was taken out of context and it turned argumentative. that is my interpretation. I feel that is a lot of what is interpreted by the others. I HOWEVER AM NOT SPEAKING FOR THEM!!

I am guessing as we all do on these open forums. DID you know we all have a degree in MSU. Making stuff up. We cannot really understand another on these boards. Anyway I can only make up that you are angry at something and Idon't know what. I can't make heads nor tails 90% of the time what you are saying and trying to convey except you're mad I get that.

Anger is a difficult thing to deal with. I am not here to judge you. I am also not here to be ganged up on in case Bon deci des to join in. If we cannot even get along here on this forum how can be be in real life??

I am trying to take care of myself. It is very difficult as It is for everyone else who comes to these forums.

otw was very good to you and she understood what you were talking about when I didn't understand a word you'd written. I'm really sorry Dem for what you are looking for you cannot find?

What I mean is that you find peace, I find peace we all find a bit of peace so that we can be ..... just be... sometimes we don't have do do anything but just be.... and when we just be......
we find God and when that happens its magical and wonderful and fulfilling. It is then that nothing else matters because ultimately it is God who we choose to please or not please. Not each other.
We have to get along in this world but the choices we make to do whatever we do belong to God to decide if they were negative or positive choices. Not anyone else to decide.
So sit back dem and try to enjoy your life... you and I have both new grandchildren. Mine is my first and I think you had another or so?? can't remember.
Maybe don't try so hard .... it's not anybodys job to fix each other. it's not anybodys job to see that the si board has people on it. it's not anybodys job to do anything but to IN MY OPINION TRY TO BE THE BEST PERSON GOD WOULD HAVE US BE.
You gave mary some very wise advice. My wish is for you to take that hand too and love him worship him and in him you will find your answers and the life you're meant to live.

Huggers Dem
Off to sleep I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
May God walk before you. b.e.f.
 
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mandybutterflykiss replied to sittingbull594's response:
SB,

I'm sorry that you feel I am "ganging up on you." This is certainly not my intent and I was not aware that I was coming across as such. Perhaps I'm missing out on something? Not understanding something? Is it possible to share with me, what I have said that has brought about this feeling? I ask only so that I can view myself through others eyes and hence learn...

I did not see Dem's expression of her thoughts and feelings to be arguementative or out of context. As my T would say, it simply is, what it is... Just my viewpoint...

If misunderstandings are happening, perhaps restating what was heard would help, like I did with you SB... To be certain I was understanding, I restated what I heard so as to see if I was understanding what you were trying to say.

I feel assumptions are being made. Example: everyone having degree's in MSU... that is an assumption. I can honestly say that I do not have this degree. How I wish I did.... boy, the things I could invent then, lol...

I love all of you and I feel so sad that our "family" is feeling torn, hurt, misunderstood, angry and a variety of other emotions.

You are correct SB, It is not anyone's job to fix, etc others... The support boards are simply that: A place to come and to give and receive support.

Sweet Dreams SB.

Gra'
Bonnie
 
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den51 replied to mandybutterflykiss's response:
I DID NOT COME HERE TO DO THIS, i came to write on this board just like everyone else that is my right, you are right i am angry, i am angry that i came out of the hospital with a plain to do better and move forward us not working, because the people that i called my family still is judging me because i spoke the truth, they face the same struggles that i do. i am not making stuff up, you seem to think that you are the leading expert on this. that i was living in drama because of bordline, I am NOT MISUNDERSTANDING CRAP AND I AM NOT MAKING STUFF UP, you are only listening to a point because you are not wanting to hear anything that i say because you are afraid of what i would. that is why you are turning this around on me, i am sorry that i hurt you and the others with the truth but i thought i was doing the right thing, they had a chance to sell out so her and the others could have been here, but they refused to their books. i want to move on with my life and i guess i cant do it here
 
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mandybutterflykiss replied to den51's response:
Dem,

You do have a right to come to these boards, like everyone does, and to post your feelings, thoughts, etc without fear of judgement, shunning, labeling, or being critisized.

Speaking only for myself, of course, I believe that everyone's truth, everyone's reality is different.. I believe that no one knows what anyone else thinks, feels, understands or doesn't understand. No one can decide what is your truth and your reality or how you perceive things in life.

As for being "Borderline." The new DSM states that this is now called: "Emotional Intensity Disorder." Per my Stepps Program Material: You are a "normal" person who has episodes caused by a periodic interruption of your brain's ability to manage the intensity of your emotions. This is made worse by the discounting and invalidation of others, thus contributing to frustration, anger and self doubt.

To Summerize: The difficulty of BPD/EID is difficulty regulating emotion. Level 1) Very high sensitivity to emotional stimuli. Level 2) Very intense responses to emotional Stimuli and Level 3) Slow return to emotional baseline after emotional arousal has occurred.

Misconceptions around BPD/EID are:

Thinking those with this illness can "control" their emotions.
Thinking those with this illness are manipulative.
Thinking those with this illness are making things up.
Thinking those with this illness are not rational or logical.
Thinking that there is a "right way" or "wrong way" to think/feel.
Thinking those with this illness are paranoid, bi-polar, etc.

Some ways to support a person with BPD/EID:

Do not try to explain or rationalize the persons perceptions.
Do not try to explain or rationalize the persons thoughts.
Do not try to explain or rationalize the persons emotions.
This only serves to make the persn feel discounted and invalidated, frustrated, angry, have more self doubt and self hate and deminishes their levels of trust further.

Help the person through an episode by listening, acknowledging, and asking what tools, skills, filters, etc has worked for them and how they might help currently.

(Disclaimer: Yes, I do have many degree's but I am here on these boards as a Peer and not as a Professional. I make no claims to be anything more than a Peer.)

Gra'
 
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den51 replied to mandybutterflykiss's response:
just for the record both of us are not here to gang up on you, bonnie has a right to voice her feelings in this a topic we all have that right, i am capable of speaking for myself, you and the others hate my guts for what i said about caprice, you tell me to move on with my life but the cold shoulder i am getting on that board is hard to swallow because i still do care so much about you all, but i refuse to be mistreated by the people that dont know me, and pretend that they do, i get that from my real family and i dont speak to them either,


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