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Do you have Borderline Personality Disorder? This new Exchange has been developed so we can encourage each other, share tips to get through those down days, and/or just vent.
Unsure and fearfull
wallamia posted:
My Name is Maria, and at this time I'm afraid of what's been going on with me... I don't know what is happening to me, but within the last 2 months, things have taken a scary turn, I thought my ADHD has been causing problems. So talking with my therapist got my ADHD tested, and then given adderall, at first it seemed to help the racing thoughts, and staying focused on my goals, but so did all the antidepressants... But now i'm not to sure what is going on! Last month, pain was an excuse, and I overdosed on gabapentin a form of ibuprofen but focuses on the nerves. But the truth of it was take loneliness, fear, rejection, and more consumed me, now matter how hard I tried fighting it, in the end I gave in. More recently, pain isn't my excuse, but for the past week I have been having severe mood swings, so severe I have had time loss and can't remember what happened. I woke up today feeling different, I found cut marks on my arm, and didn't know how... why... or even when! I then found notes scattered all over my sofa, one being a suicide note... I think I'm going crazy, trying to figure out what is happening, and what has happened these last 2 days, it is like channel surfing and not finding what I want... I have stopped taking my adderall today, to see if that is a cause but it is going to take time, and i feel time is against me after these past 2 days. I'm not sure what is going on with me, a fear that I'm not going to make it through another episode like that....
marysings responded:
Welcome Maria. I feel for your recent symptoms and I hope and pray that they cease soon.

I'm not sure we can help you on this board. You really need to schedule time with your pdoc and your therapist. Write down all that's happening. Be honest and give all the information to both. Don't put off getting help.

I wish you all the best. You're welcome to hang around here but this board is not very active. Have you checked in on the Depression community?

Keep in touch as much as you need to.

... but we rejoice in our afflictions because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. Romans 5:3b
sittingbull594 replied to marysings's response:
hi maria and welcome.

it's really a hard situation you're in and best addressed with phychiatrist (pdoc) and therapist (t). I agree with mary to write it all down and call them right away!

Yes this board is pretty slow. I would encourage you to keep writing if it helps.

May God walk before you. b.e.f.

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