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Pat
Now to your issues.............PLEASE do not 'beat yourself up' over waiting so long for a mammogram. Alot of women do that with the most innocent intentions. I myself am one of them, I waited '7' years between mammo's and was on hormone replacement during that time. I KNEW BETTER !! But, I thought I was immune to the unthinkable I guess. It turned out that waiting 7 years got me a 2 cm., grade 2 stage 2 breast cancer lump that was very easy to feel/find that was removed and took 2 more surgeries to get clear margins, had 8 nodes removed, 2 of them had cancer in them, had tons of tests and 30 radiation treatments that I finished mid January or about a month ago. I am still in the healing process from the rad treatments. I found the lump last Febuary while taking a shower and it just took off from there. I know EXACTLY how you feel and what your thinking. I blamed myself too, I could have kicked myself for waiting so long between mammo's but what good would that have served. The most important thing for me to do for myself was to take care of the problem so that is where I put my energy. I have followed my 3 doctor's-surgeon/radiation therapist/oncologist treatment plans and am doing all I can to conquer this beast and that I intend to do. So will you. It can be done, it is being done and will only get better and better to do in the future. Please don't feel guilty any longer, you really need to get past that and focus on getting well now. It is a bridge you can cross, I did. Remember.............you meant no harm, especially to yourself. This happens to alot of women. We just get busy and put our health on the back burner. Now, you must do what I did, and that is to get on the front burner and get well. You must think positive now. That will make a ton of difference in your future health. It will help you heal and overcome. It is not a death sentence, not anymore. It is a process of tests, surgeries, and treatments now. But you can do this.Please try not to worry so much, it sounds as if yours was found in the very early stages. Please keep us informed and remember, as Rachael says, remember to 'breathe' when the fear gets to heavy, in and out. It does relax you and things will not feel so bad. Keep the faith and God Bless, Pat~sadblossom
The advice you have received is good. Forget about blaming yourself! It's no one's fault! I had yearly mammograms, and had my annual physical - part of which was a breast exam by the doctor - the day before the mammogram which discovered my cancer. Neither I nor my doctor ever felt a lump of any kind! My diagnosis was DCIS and was small. I had a lumpectomy followed by radiation. That was in 2003. Thus far all is well. I doubt that I will ever feel totally out of the reach of the beast but then I will never feel that a bus won't run me down either!! Life means risks. It's that simple.
You are in the very scarey time of the journey...You know enough to be terrified, but not enough to know that treatments are available and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. All that will come as you learn more. Make sure you do your homework on reputable sites, ask tons of questions of your medical team, bring someone with you to all appointments (We tend to go deaf with the first mention of cancer...A second pair of ears is valuable!), and don't hesitate to get 2nd and 3rd opinions. As you begin to learn more, your level of confidence and control will return and your world will begin to slow down to a manageable pace.
Know you will be in our thoughts. Do let us know how you are doing, and feel free to come back whenever!
blessings. Rachael
Do you know what stage your cancer is? Whatever you do make sure you go back to your doctors' appointment and take someone else with you so that they can hear what the doctor is saying. It make be a blur for you. Take notes. I had stage IIa breast cancer. I had a skin sparing masectomy this past October and chemo already, I had a tissue expander put in after the surgery and will be doing reconstructive surgery after I finish radiation, which starts sometime in March. I have going through this with the help of my family, my friends and my church family. The doctors have been great.
The other thing I wanted to say it that there have been so many medical advances even from a few years ago. Breast cancer is not the same diagnosis it may have been years ago. Be blessed, don't stress and pray alot, it helps. This is my first time ever responded to anything like this online, but I just wanted to respond to your post. Try going to komen.org for more information, they have section for people that have been diagnosed with cancer.
Now, if you want some bad examples to help you stop beating yourself up, I was 55 years old and had never had a mammogram at all. Talk about "bad". I went through the same kind of process - mammo, ultrasound, biopsy and my lump was also less than 1 cm. So I was very lucky and everything turned out fine for me. I figured that this was the way things were and no sense in getting upset about what didn't happen, just focus on what to do in the future.
Keep breathing and think good thoughts.
kayjo
blessings. Rachael
God Bless you, and I will pray for you. Denise
I'll be praying for you!

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