Skip to content
My WebMD Sign In, Sign Up
I'M SO SCARED!!!
avatar
MattieMorgan2 posted:
I just learned this past Thursday afternoon that I have breast cancer. I haven't been back to see the surgeon yet -- I have an appointment this coming Tuesday afternoon to see her. When she did the biopsy, the doctor said that the area of concern is less than a centimeter. But I'm so frightened that it has spread, it's going to be a death sentence, etc. I'm trying very hard to be positive. But unfortunately I was a bad lady. I went 3 years without going for a mammogram. And I've been beatng myself up ever since. I did go for a mammogram a couple of weeks ago, got called back for a diagnostic mammogram, then an ultrasound, then a biopsy, and now here I am. I guess I'm lucky that I couldn't feel the lump, and the doctor who did my biopsy couldn't feel the lump. I know what's done is done, but if only I hadn't gone 3 years without getting a mammogram. I'd appreciate hearing from anyone who has been or is in a similar situation. My apologies for such a lengthy post.
Reply
 
avatar
angel17941947 responded:
Mattie, I am very sorry that u had to come to this group but you did come to the right place to get moral support and so many lady's on here know so much about the disease. It is not like 10 years ago. They are doing so good at finding and curing even stage 4 at times. Breathe a sigh of relief! You can be cured. If it was a centimeter I think you will be ok. Just Breathe! It is hard on the mind to get the dx that you have Breast Cancer. Fill free to come back and ask any and all questions. Most of the lady's are not on here on Sunday. I do know how you feel, In 2002 I was Stage 3 cancer. I am still here by the Grace of God plus a few good Doctors. Don't feel bad about not getting mammograms, I got mine every year and still had Breast Cancer to pounce upon me. Breathe again! When I didn't have Breast Cancer I never realized how many women do get it. It is a lot and we have a lot of survivor's here. Your post is not too long either. We have been where you are today. There are many survivors out there and I am praying that you will be one too. If it was that small, it probably will require only a few treatments to eradicate it. I am praying for you Mattie because i am a Christian. I have also found that been human we blow it up into a giant problem. It does wor on the mind. Keep us informed and come to this board if you have any questions. Someone will know the answer or tell you where to get the answer. Also, it will take a few test to be sure. It may not even be Breast Cancer. I wish you all the love and luck that comes witha scarey dx. Praying that everythig will be fine for U. Prayer and hugs to you

Pat
 
avatar
sadblossom responded:
Hi Mattie, Welcome ! Very glad you chose this board/site. It is monitored by the most brilliant and charming people. I am sorry you have this type of need but sense you do, you will love it here.

Now to your issues.............PLEASE do not 'beat yourself up' over waiting so long for a mammogram. Alot of women do that with the most innocent intentions. I myself am one of them, I waited '7' years between mammo's and was on hormone replacement during that time. I KNEW BETTER !! But, I thought I was immune to the unthinkable I guess. It turned out that waiting 7 years got me a 2 cm., grade 2 stage 2 breast cancer lump that was very easy to feel/find that was removed and took 2 more surgeries to get clear margins, had 8 nodes removed, 2 of them had cancer in them, had tons of tests and 30 radiation treatments that I finished mid January or about a month ago. I am still in the healing process from the rad treatments. I found the lump last Febuary while taking a shower and it just took off from there. I know EXACTLY how you feel and what your thinking. I blamed myself too, I could have kicked myself for waiting so long between mammo's but what good would that have served. The most important thing for me to do for myself was to take care of the problem so that is where I put my energy. I have followed my 3 doctor's-surgeon/radiation therapist/oncologist treatment plans and am doing all I can to conquer this beast and that I intend to do. So will you. It can be done, it is being done and will only get better and better to do in the future. Please don't feel guilty any longer, you really need to get past that and focus on getting well now. It is a bridge you can cross, I did. Remember.............you meant no harm, especially to yourself. This happens to alot of women. We just get busy and put our health on the back burner. Now, you must do what I did, and that is to get on the front burner and get well. You must think positive now. That will make a ton of difference in your future health. It will help you heal and overcome. It is not a death sentence, not anymore. It is a process of tests, surgeries, and treatments now. But you can do this.Please try not to worry so much, it sounds as if yours was found in the very early stages. Please keep us informed and remember, as Rachael says, remember to 'breathe' when the fear gets to heavy, in and out. It does relax you and things will not feel so bad. Keep the faith and God Bless, Pat~sadblossom
 
avatar
MattieMorgan2 responded:
Pat, thank you so much for your words of encouragement and kindness! I'm trying very hard to be positive and hopeful. I'm almost afraid, though, to hope that the doctor will tell me on Tuesday that my tumor is indeed small and has not spread. I was so positive and hopeful about the outcome of the biopsy; and then when I got the news, I was completely devastated. I'm praying that I can be strong through this ordeal. Your words helped a lot to brighten my day. Prayers and hugs to you, too!
 
avatar
Rachael67 responded:
As you can tell from the two posts already (and this is the weekend when the boards are usually rather quiet) you have chosen to come to a place where folks care!

The advice you have received is good. Forget about blaming yourself! It's no one's fault! I had yearly mammograms, and had my annual physical - part of which was a breast exam by the doctor - the day before the mammogram which discovered my cancer. Neither I nor my doctor ever felt a lump of any kind! My diagnosis was DCIS and was small. I had a lumpectomy followed by radiation. That was in 2003. Thus far all is well. I doubt that I will ever feel totally out of the reach of the beast but then I will never feel that a bus won't run me down either!! Life means risks. It's that simple.

You are in the very scarey time of the journey...You know enough to be terrified, but not enough to know that treatments are available and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. All that will come as you learn more. Make sure you do your homework on reputable sites, ask tons of questions of your medical team, bring someone with you to all appointments (We tend to go deaf with the first mention of cancer...A second pair of ears is valuable!), and don't hesitate to get 2nd and 3rd opinions. As you begin to learn more, your level of confidence and control will return and your world will begin to slow down to a manageable pace.

Know you will be in our thoughts. Do let us know how you are doing, and feel free to come back whenever!

blessings. Rachael
 
avatar
BeBrave responded:
Just an FYI, maybe to ease your mind about not going for 3 years. I was going EVERY SIX MONTHS! I have had calcifications for years, no lumps were ever felt. I know I'm being sarcastic, but the doctors just let all these tiny calcifications grow into a mass, a small one, but still a mass. My surgeon said the cancer could have been there for a year and a half. Oh, let's see, in a year and half, I had had three mamos. So, the point of all this is, you waited 3 years, I had gone every 6 months, either way, we both did not know we had cancer. Do not beat yourself up! I didn't get to beat the doctors up! Hugs and Prayers, Alma
 
avatar
Jaemonee responded:
First of all, just remember to give it to God, he will help you through it all. The 3 years you went without a mammogram is more than likely not the reason you have cancer now. I got a mammogram every year for the last almost 20 years. I still had breast cancer.

Do you know what stage your cancer is? Whatever you do make sure you go back to your doctors' appointment and take someone else with you so that they can hear what the doctor is saying. It make be a blur for you. Take notes. I had stage IIa breast cancer. I had a skin sparing masectomy this past October and chemo already, I had a tissue expander put in after the surgery and will be doing reconstructive surgery after I finish radiation, which starts sometime in March. I have going through this with the help of my family, my friends and my church family. The doctors have been great.

The other thing I wanted to say it that there have been so many medical advances even from a few years ago. Breast cancer is not the same diagnosis it may have been years ago. Be blessed, don't stress and pray alot, it helps. This is my first time ever responded to anything like this online, but I just wanted to respond to your post. Try going to komen.org for more information, they have section for people that have been diagnosed with cancer.
 
avatar
kayjoedwards responded:
First off, let me say that it sounds like you will have an excellent prognosis. Put some positive images in your mind and don't be afraid to hope. Regardless of the outcome of the biopsy, the chances of a good outcome are great these days.

Now, if you want some bad examples to help you stop beating yourself up, I was 55 years old and had never had a mammogram at all. Talk about "bad". I went through the same kind of process - mammo, ultrasound, biopsy and my lump was also less than 1 cm. So I was very lucky and everything turned out fine for me. I figured that this was the way things were and no sense in getting upset about what didn't happen, just focus on what to do in the future.

Keep breathing and think good thoughts.

kayjo
 
avatar
ANels responded:
Hi Mattie, i just learned today that i have breast cancer as well. I found a lump in my chest a few months ago and while trying to find a doctor it grew bigger. It was removed last week and now i am going for a lymp node biopsy next week. I don't expect good news. I am only 33 and have absoulely no history of breast cancer in either side of my family. even the first doctor to see me said it was most likely just a lump, not cancer. Don't beat yourself up over a mammogram, stay positve...i am sure going to try my best to be postive myself.
 
avatar
MattieMorgan2 responded:
Thanks so much to all of you for your responses. I truly appreciate all of your good wishes and kind remarks. I'm trying my best to stay positive. I have my appointment with the surgeon tomorrow afternoon, and I'm praying that the news will be positive. I'm getting such wonderful support from my family, friends, co-workers and all of you.
 
avatar
Rachael67 responded:
We'll be right beside you next week for your node biopsy. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

blessings. Rachael
 
avatar
Tikasiamese responded:
Hi Mattie - I totally understand where your coming from about NOT getting a mammogram. I went for my 1st mammo in October at 43 (I am now 44), received breast cancer (DCIS) and beat myself up for not getting a mammo sooner. I thought it was my fault for not getting it done. When I had my mammo, the mammo tech asked me when I had my last mammo and I just looked at her with a "blank" stare. I was ever so embarrassed. Thank god it was at the earliest stages of cancer. I went through all the issues above and had my lumpectomy on 12/15 (I have to admit that when I woke up from the procedure, I started to sob and feel sorry for myself for not getting a mammo again, the nurse was very reassuring.) Now I am at the radiation stage of my treatment (until 4/1). Next is Tamoxifil pill for 5 years. The best advise I can give you, that others did for me is to not beat yourself over it. We both have to look at the future.....Now that we both missed 3 years of mammos, we now have to go every 6 months - thats what we have to do...LOL!!!! You will do fine. I am now a "reformed" finatic of women getting mammos now (I just tell them my story and they go get theirs done).
 
avatar
Mountenay responded:
Try not to be scared. I find that when I pray, fear goes away. Let Faith to be healed rise up in you. Read God's word and you will find peace. Since you have no history of bc, other risks are not having any children before the age of 34, and long term use of birth control pills. A lot of women do not realize that the pill is actually a hormonal steroid. the bc prevention institute.org did a pamphlet on it...very good and very interesting. The world health organization also put out a statement in 2005. Seems more younger women are getting bc...wonder what the stats are on that now?

God Bless you, and I will pray for you. Denise
 
avatar
missybit2 responded:
Dear Mattie, Even though it's a verdict we all dread, you can walk through it in peace. My journey began last July and I've now made it through needle biopsy, lumpectomy (quadrectomy), and 34 radiation treatments. I've completed 3 months of aromatase inhibitors and on Friday will have my first mammogram after treatment. I read constantly and asked lots of questions. I was blessed with good doctors who were very patient with my lists of questions. I found it easier to deal with one step at a time. I focused first on surgery, then on the decisions regarding chemo (which I didn't go through), then on getting radiation. I can honestly tell you that it was not the ordeal I had always thought it would be. If I can be of help, please contact me at missybit2@yahoo.com.

I'll be praying for you!
 
avatar
ANels responded:
Thanks so much Rachel


Helpful Tips

Breast Cancer Survivor
I had breast cancer surgery on right side just below my breast 2.2 cm part since 2001. It also removed 21 nodes my armpit to protect cancer ... More
Was this Helpful?
1 of 1 found this helpful

Related News

There was an error with this newsfeed

Related Drug Reviews

  • Drug Name User Reviews

Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

For more information, visit the Duke Health Breast Cancer Center