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    update on Jess
    jesscwde posted:
    Well, I had my surgery and I will start my expanding on tuesday. I had my consult with the oncologist yesterday. Didn't get great news. I have triple negative invasive ductal carcinoma. I did not know the triple negative was so bad. I am waiting on my BRACA test to come back. I will have a port put in next week and will start chemo after that. I will be going every 2 weeks for 2 months and then every week for 3 months. I'm not really looking forward to this, but I am being as positive as I can. My friends can't believe how well I'm handling everything. I am worried about having another child. My son is 2 and we wanted another one when he is 4. Does anyone know what my chances are of being able to have another baby after chemo and if my BRACA test is positive? When I came home from the doctor and told my boyfriend he totally lost it. I have barely cried this whole time and to have him just break down was just too much. Poor thing. i had to tell him to suck it up and that I have held myself together and he better not make me lose it now because I don't know if I could get it back. I know he is dealing with a lot, but I don't know how to handle this for him. My way to deal is with humor and just keeping a smile on my face, but I know he needs more. I don't really talk to anyone about anything so i just needed to vent. Thanks.
    judyfams responded:
    Glad to hear that you are recovering well from surgery.
    Women are able to conceive after they have chemo, in fact pregnant women have been known to have chemo without doing harm to the baby.
    In a way being triple negative in this case means that you will not have to deal with hormone treatments like the aromatase inhibitirs or tamoxifen. It is those drugs that prevent ovulation and in some rare cases cause uterine cancer. But you will not be on those drugs and you should be able to have another baby in a few years. The chemo may affect your fertility for a while. Certain chemo combinations have a greater effect on fertility than others, your oncologist may be able to answer your questions.
    Why don't you ask your oncologist to refer you to a fertility expert who can better answer your questions, especially if you test positive for the BRACA genes.
    It is good that you have a positive attitude about your surgery and treatment. That will help you get through the chemo. Remember to take care of yourself and rest when you need to - it is important to keep up your strength. Also during chemo drink lots of fluids especially water and make sure you eat lean protein and plenty of fruits and vegetables.
    Even if you lose your appetite - find two or three foods that you like and eat them - you must eat and drink lots of water during chemo.
    See if your boyfriend can go to a support group for spouses so he can cope with his feelings. Many hospitals have such groups - ask your oncologist or call your local hospital or your local ACS chapter or even a Gilda's Club chapter in your area.
    It is difficult for him to deal with your surgery, and treatment as well as his emotions at the same time. So he too needs someplace or someone to vent with as you have just done.
    Please come back and let us know how you, and your boyfriend are doing.
    Chemo is not an easy road - but it can be easier if you remain positive and take care of yourself.
    Good luck,
    Rachael67 responded:
    Jess, thanks so much for updating us. I am glad that your surgery is behind you...One milestone down!

    I am sorry that your journey may be more of a challenge than you had aniticipated, but Judy certainly has given you many encouraging things to foucs on as well as some super suggestions for you and for your boyfriend!

    Seeing someone we love face difficulities can be almost as painful for us as for them. Bundling all the emotions up isn't good for you or for him, and seeking out a support group provides a place where you/he won't have to always be strong. (Hopefully this community is one outlet you can use to vent or cry or to reach out for a friend who has been there/done that. There may well be others in your area where you can meet person to person as well.)

    Remember that having an occasional "pity party" is okay...In fact, it can help you get over bumps along the way, and face the next challenge a bit stronger. Just give yourself a time limit...and do invite us! We all know they are inevitable and we have all had them for ourselves from time to time.

    You will remain in our thoughts. Let us know how you are doing.

    Just when the caterpillar thought her world was over, she became a butterfly!
    Don't give up five minutes before the miracle!!
    JLAMB26 responded:

    You have a great attitude and that will help you through your journey. I too had triple negative IDC and started chemo when my daughter was a newborn and son was 3 years old so I can relate to your journey. (I just finished all my treatment last month) I'll give you some advice, accept help when offered from others. Going through chemo when caring for a toddler can be challenging. You need your rest but sometimes children take priority and rest is not an option (as in my case with a baby). A friend set up a schedule of other moms/friends to help me out with meals, watching the kids, cleaning and running errands so I could rest. It was so helpful! On the other hand, your son will be the best medicine you could ever receive. My husband also had a harder time with my diagnosis than I did (we women are strong aren't we?). A co-worker whose wife had breast cancer years ago became his sounding board and allowed him to express his feelings and get questions answered. It helped. I encourage your boyfriend to find a support group or someone to talk to. I'll keep you in my prayers and be thinking good thoughts for you this upcoming year. Please take care of yourself and in no time this will be a distant memory:)
    brcansur responded:
    Hello, I too am triple neg but I had already had a hysterectomy before breast cancer. But with that said I had seen a specailist for years tring to have another child due to other problems. Have you talked to anyone about harvesting your eggs before treatment starts that way if the chemo does effect your eggs you have some put away so you can have another child later on down the road. Because it shouldn't effect you carring a child to term just producing eggs is what may be effected. Sometimes chemo can cause a women to go into menopause early which would provent you from releasing eggs and getting pregnant. This is just one thing that you may want to talk to your ob/gyn about before chemo. It is the only thing that came to mind that noone else thougth of to help you out I know about it because I have been there done that. I know how it feel when you want more children and may not beable to. I have one son and could never have another due to a lot of cyst and endometreosis, tumors in the uterus and so on and so on. I wanted more children very badly and would have done what ever it took to do that. So with all my heart I wish you and your boy friend all the best hang in there stay strong and please stay positive. I will keep you and your family in my heart and prayers always angel hugs Roberta,

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