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    Trying to be brave
    cancer47 posted:
    Thought I would just stop by and read some post before I have thanksgiving with family tomorrow. I am thankful this year that I am almost 2 years from finding the lump. This year I have straight hair, not the bad perm look from chemo. I have more energy and lost the chemo weight.
    But I look to see how many of you go back to your check-ups, find cancer again and sometimes again and wonder how these woman do it? I have not been back to onchologist, surgeon or radiation doctors in a year. I want to put blinders on and look forward and not back to what was such a tragic event in my life. People don't understand I'd rather not know than know anything even if it's good. The doctors leave messages on the answering machine to call for an appointment but I get a feeling the pit of my stomach when I even think of it. Sometimes I feel like calling and saying can you take me right now so I would not dread an appoinment for days or weeks.
    You are all so brave. I wish I could find the courage as you have.

    Blessing to everyone for this holiday season.
    MBH34351 responded:
    I'd be more afraid not going than going! Hope you change your mind.

    Have a wonderful holiday. I really think the fact that we're here posting means we've got lots to be grateful for. Hope that after the holiday you'll rethink your stance.

    I'm thinking about the saying, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Well, it's not an either/or. Most of us have had both -- ounces and ounces of prevention and then TONS of cure.

    Very little of this is fun, but it is usually manageable.

    Mary (voting for peace of mind) Beth
    It's doable!
    Shell1007 replied to MBH34351's response:
    Mary (so wise) Beth,
    I so agree with everything you said. Where is that darn "Like" button when ya need it ?!
    I think the fear of the unknown is much worse than knowing - good or bad.
    Have a Happy Thanksgiving & eat lots
    Rachael67 responded:
    Oh, how well we understand and appreciate your feelings! There isn't one of us who wouldn't like to play ostrich and bury our heads in the sand...This despite the fact that we know this is most likely that bird's least attractive position!!

    I have to agree with Mary (it's doable!) Beth that not going only assures us that we will always be holding our breath, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. This, even though we realize that the longer we let something brew undetected, the harder our battle will be. The other half of that cup? The sooner we get a good report, the more fully we can enjoy each future day that we are granted!

    Despite the fact that most times the anticipation and worry is seldom realized to the extent we had feared, we continue to play hide and seek with the docs! Limbo is a really ugly neighborhood, and one I would suggest you move out of as soon as possible... We'll even send PInkie to "drive" you out of it!!

    (Incidentally, the reason you can't seem to find that courage? You are always busy seeing it in others and never looking inside yourself! )

    Just when the caterpillar thought her world was over, she became a butterfly!
    Don't give up five minutes before the miracle!!
    brcansur replied to Rachael67's response:
    I agree with the other ladies, Rachael the last part of your post is very well said and I think a lot of us were in that spot at one time or another. I know I have been and untill you can see that you really do have the courage just like the others on this board you will stay in that rut. You really need to look at it in a way that your health is more important and should be number one on your list of things to keep up. Not as if it is a bad thing that if you go to the doctor that means your going to get bad news that isn't the way it is all the time. Yes you got bad news once but now your cancer is gone and you are moving on so keep your health in check and on the good track by keeping your appts and doing all the healthy things you can to stay healthy. I may self would go crazy not knowing so I keep my appt to make sure I am doing all I can to stay healthy and hopefully keep cancer from ever coming back. But like Mary ( it's doable) Beth and Rachael said if it does it is Doable. We ladies on this board have been there done that and are very strong women that means you also. So if it happens that we get sick or have any problems we fight it so if cancer comes back we will fight it also. Because we are fighters, we are strong women, and we will not give in or give up. So please do the same and think about changing your mind and seeing your doctors and having that follow up appt. Either way we are here for you to listen if you need to chat or vent and to just chat or even for a good cry if you need that and we even have some good laughs too. So please come back often. Have a great day and weekend angel hugs Roberta,
    cindy12345678 responded:
    Cancer 47,
    I am glad you are 2 yrs out. That is wonderful. We all
    feel that way sometimes. But ignoring things doesn't make
    them go away. If you got bad news , it would be your choice.
    Your choice to get treatment , what kind of treatment, or
    not to get treatment. I think knowing is better than not.
    Just know we are with you whatever you decide.
    Jenna291 replied to cindy12345678's response:
    Hi there,
    I am so very glad you are 2 years out, but you have to go to those follow up appointments. I get serious anxiety when an appt comes up, then if its something I need to wait for results on, I do stress over it, but its important because God forbid there is anything new, they can catch it early.
    I hope you reconsider and get to your docs!
    Rachel has Pinkie all ready to go an we will all be there with you. Please let us know you next steps!
    ~ Jenna

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