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Scared Daughter
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1214bjy posted:
Yesterday I took my mom for what we thought was her yearly mammogram and three hours later after a mammogram and and ultrasound we were told that it doesn't look good and there's a 95% chance that she has cancer in her right breast and lymph nodes. We don't know the exact details yet and the biopsies are scheduled for next Wednesday but right now my thoughts are all over the place. I'm hoping for the best but fearing the worst. I don't know what to do or where to start. I'll take any suggestions you can offer to help me through this...
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brcansur responded:
Hello scared daughter first things first take a nice deep breath in and out slow again. Now I had the same thing happen to me when I was in my 20 and it came back all it was is dense breast and cysts. There is a 80% chance that it is nothing so let go with that for now and not bring worry on till you have to. One thing at a time get through the weekend and the test wait for the results before you bring on the worry. No sense in worring over something that you can not change or do anything about right now right. Spend this time helping your mom stay calm and positive and taking care of you. Because if you get upset and make your self sick over worry then you are no good to any one.
If it turns out to be cancer then you go into plan mode you ask all the questions in the world that you can think of and the only stupid question is the one not asked. So don't feel like you can't ask something or you are asking to much just aske away. Then you sit down with your mom and family and decide what is going to be best for her in the long run. But remember this is her choice to make in the end she is the only one that is going to have to live with what ever she decides to do for the rest of her life. I am telling you that cancer does not mean she is going to die we ladies here are proof of that we are all survivors I am 4 1/2 years now from stage 3 breast cancer and I had 2 different tumors and 2 different cancers in the same breast. So it is very doable and can be treated and you and your mom can do it to if she has to. But lets not even think that way till you have to ok !!!
So now just go out and enjoy the weekend do something you and your mom like together to get your minds off of all this and her test coming up. I would do the same while your waiting for the results stay busy and keep your minds busy it helps make the time go buy faster. I am sending all my best to you and your mom along with some angel hugs Roberta,
Roberta
 
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rachael67 responded:
Roberta gave you some of the very best suggestions. Presently there is little you can do, but that only means you have more time to fret and think of every possible bad scenario! So, do you best to fill your time up with good stuff, even mundane, busy-work stuff...Just so it keeps the nasty worries a little distance from you.

Yes, there is an 80% chance that whatever is there will be benign...no cancer! (The only way to confirm cancer is with a biopsy so even a doctor can only guess right now.) Focus on that when your mind tends to rush back into worrying!

If...and that is a very big IF...it does prove to be cancer, there is much that can be done which most likely will prove not only do-able but successful!

You and Mom will need to learn much and make many decisions...We will be here to help you through that part of the journey by offering what we have learned and experienced. But you will definitely need energy and do your best to deal with the sense of being overwhelmed. For that, NOW is the time to get the rest you need and take care of yourselves...No army willingly goes into battle exhausted and feeling out of control!

And, one thing Mom has going for her that is absolutely the most beneficial of all??? YOU! Having a caring, supportive daughter standing beside her during any difficult time is a blessing greater than any king's treasure!

So...inhale deeply and slowly...now exhale slowly...Keep that up until your world begins to slow down to a more manageable pace. Put your shoulders back, head high, and know you and Mom will meet this challenge together!!

Keep us posted on how things are going.

Blessings.
Rachael
A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song.
Maya Angelou
 
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1214bjy replied to rachael67's response:
Thank You Roberta and Rachael for your encouraging words and support! I guess I'm still in shock and panic mode and need to slow down...and breathe!!!

I am strong while I'm around my mom but when I'm not that's when I break down and my mind starts racing. I have been trying to keep busy...and I can be calm for a while but then it hits me all at once. My house should be spotless with all this nervous energy!

I am inspired by reading the stories of all the brave and courageous women out there. I know my friends will be there for me but it's so comforting to see such a supportive community and be welcomed like this. I'll keep you posted.

Thank You Very Much!
Scared Daughter-Billie
 
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Anon_182278 replied to rachael67's response:
Rachael, you always have such sound advice! I love where you say, 'No army willingly goes into batle exhausted and feeling out of control." You have such a way with words!

To: Scared Daughter: Whatever you meet up with, you will be able to face it. If it should be that there is a malignancy, you will be surprised at how the experience will make you and your mother very strong. When I was told I had DCIS at first, three years ago, I too was out of control and at my wits end. With God on your side and these wonderful ladies on this board, you WILL be able to get through this. Blessings to you.
 
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1214bjy replied to Anon_182278's response:
We just got back from the biopsies and now the worst part...waiting for the results. The nurse said that she is going to try everything to get the results by tomorrow but if not, we won't hear from her until Monday because the Doctor is going to a conference on Friday and won't be in. I have been trying my best to think only positive things since all this started last week but it's been really hard not to go to the dark side. I keep re-reading over and over what you kind ladies have posted and your words mean so much to me.
 
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jenna291 replied to 1214bjy's response:
The waiting is so very difficult, I would suggest you keep your mom busy with some positive things to do, and hopefully the results will be back before the weekend.

This is overwhelming for sure, and we here all hope and pray that this is not cancer, but if it is, you CAN deal with it and be strong! We are all proof of that!

I anxiously await your update and sending you good thoughts and prayers,
Jenna
 
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justkarenc replied to jenna291's response:
I agree the waiting is the toughest part
 
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1214bjy replied to justkarenc's response:
No call today, we have to wait until Monday...ugh.
 
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rachael67 replied to 1214bjy's response:
Amazing how long we can hold our breath, right? Prayers and good thoughts continue your way!

Rachael
A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song.
Maya Angelou
 
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1214bjy replied to rachael67's response:
My mom definitely has cancer. After playing phone tag all day with the doctor and nurse, I was finally able to talk to someone myself. My mom was very vague when she called this morning and I guess I needed to hear it myself (and my mom was very nervous and I was afraid she didn't hear everything that was said). They said she has Infilitrating Ductal Carcinoma. They can't tell us what stage it is and that more tests need to be done. I guess they have to test to see if it's anywhere else in her body. But that she is responsive to estrogen, if that's the silver lining in all this? Anyway, we go see the surgeon on Thursday afternoon.

She's upset, naturally, but doesn't seem to be taking it as a death sentence. I know she's a fighter. And the nurse said that attitude is everything with this. She said she's seen people bring on more problems just because they were thinking negatively.

I've been doing a lot of research, probably a little too much, but from what I've been reading, changing your diet can help in all this. I keep reading that she should stay away from meat, dairy and processed foods and to eat more of a plant based diet. Is this a good suggestion? Maybe I'm reaching too far but I want to try everything.

Any suggestions...for anything and everything?
 
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Sociologist2012 replied to 1214bjy's response:
I am so sorry you and your mom are going through this. It is good however, your mom has YOU for strength. A website that helped me so much throughout my breast cancer journey was breastcancer'dot'org. They are the most amazing and supportive community of individuals I have ever come across. As for your moms cancer being estrogen positive, yes that is good news. Women that dont have er positive cancer have more trouble finding things that work against their cancer. Best of luck to you and your mom. Margaret
 
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brcansur replied to 1214bjy's response:
1214bjy I am so sorry to hear about your mom and that it is breats cancer but you and your mom are fighters and will get through this. Now you need to put on your fighting caps and stay strong stay postive and go in with all the fight and anger you have towards this cancer and never give up !!
I am here all the way for you, mom and your family sending loads of angel hugs and prayers your way Roberta,
Roberta
 
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1214bjy replied to brcansur's response:
We met with the surgeon today. My mom has to have a couple more tests done but he thinks it is stage II. After she meets with the oncologist she will have to decide surgery first then chemo or chemo first then surgery. Any opinions on which to do first?


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