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Terrified Abnormal Mammogram
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dguill78 posted:
I found a lump in my left breast and was pretty much reassured that it was fibrocystic changes in my breast. I was sent for a mammogram as a precaution. I guess it has not sunk in that I was right there is a mass now noted and I have to go back for spot compression as explained to me to better see the borders of said mass. I have 3 children the youngest of the 3 is only 2. I am totally freaked out. My family does not help. My fathers family history is not very encouraging. I only have 2 aunts who are deceased from metastatic breast cancer and my grandmother was a survivor who died of a stroke non cancer related but I an terrified and don't know where's to turn. I'm afraid to ask anymore questions once the word mass was used. I had this instant fear. I am a former oncology nurse so the word mass struck fear in me. Am I just overreacting or are my fears normal ?? Help lost in translation !!!
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judyfams responded:
You are not overreacting - no matter who you are or what your background is - the idea of being diagnosed with breast cancer is truly terrifying - so what you are feeling is normal.
You need to take some long, deep breaths - in through the nose and out slowly through the mouth!
Please know that 80% of all masses found are benign. Also your "mass" if cancer was found early and early detection is very important. I realize your family history puts you in a higher risk category - but survival rates are good for cancers detected early.
You need to take this one step at a time - there may be more tests required like ultrasound, MRI, and even a biopsy - and the worst part of all that is waiting for the results. So I would strongly recommend that you ask your doctor for anti anxiety meds to help you get through taking and waiting for the results of all these tests.
Once the tests are finished and you have a definitive diagnosis - you will be back in control of your life and can then move on to the next phase of making the decisions you need to make to insure that you have peace of mind.
Because of your family history you might want to consider genetic testing for the BRACA genes.
So for the time being you are in limbo as you wait for a definitive diagnosis and I know how awful that is - so try to keep busy with your wonderful children, and if needed anti anxiety meds to help you sleep.
We are all here to help you and know the terror you are feeling - and are here to listen to you as you deal with all the emotions associated with waiting for a diagnosis.
Please let us know how you are doing and what you find out each step of the way.
Cyber hugs,
Judy
 
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rachael67 responded:
What you feel is in no way overreacting...All of it is perfectly normal!

I termed the feeling as being overwhelmed...That seemed to only word to come close as it does not really define the feeling; it only states that something akin to a demon of fear is coursing thru your being and you have lost any sense of control!

Judy has reassured you as well, and has given you an overview of where you are and what you can expect IF...it is shown to be cancer. (Don't borrow trouble...It has an uncanny way of finding us without us looking for it!)

Despite all the anxiety right now, if you do have to deal with a serious problem, you will be amazed at how much relief you will experience once a plan of action is worked out and begun! In the meantime, do all you can to distract you (impossible as it might seem!)...Those little ones and their giggles and hi jinks might just the a solution to find a laugh or two which, we all agree, can be a wonderful med during this stressful time! Hugs and gooey kisses are super as well! (Even those from your husband too! )

If the anxiety becomes too bad, make sure you tell your physician about this and ask for some medication to help.

Please know that we will be sending you our support and good thoughts. Please let us know how you are doing. We care!

Blessings.
Rachael
A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song.
Maya Angelou
 
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dguill78 replied to rachael67's response:
Thanks guys. It's just hard talking about it with family because they all reassure me that its nothing but the fear is still there for me. The only reason I got it checked out was because of this uneasy feeling I had after it being there 3 months in a row on my self exam. I'm a gut type of person and I'm just feeling like this is d?j? vu. When I walked out of the mammogram I felt like things just were not right. There were 2 images taken of my right breast and 4 of my left. It was like 2 of the same 2 shots so I felt like maybe they just needed clarity. But I just can't seem to shake this bad feeling. I've had it since I walked in my GYNs office even before the mammogram. I love my gyn because he reassured me he felt the area and we would do a mammogram just to "be 100% certain". Now I have never been more uncertain of anything in my life. I don't want to cry or be upset but I just can't shake this feeling and the faster I get answers the better off I will be. I have a strong faith in God and I am prepared to do handle anything. I believe he only gives us what we can handle. Monday can not come fast enough for me the waiting is just driving me crazy !!! Thanks for all the information and I will update soon as I get an answer.
 
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rachael67 replied to dguill78's response:
Oh, how often we speak of not being able to talk with others about what we are going thru! Sometimes it is that they either do not know enough to appreciate why we are worried or may have things on their plate that, to them, are more important at that moment. However, many times those who love us try to downplay the issue and we feel they just don't know how serious it is! BUT...The reason they do this is NOT because they are not worried...It is often because they are even more worried than we are, but are trying to reassure US! May seem a bit convoluted, but it comes from a good place!

And our own worries can be a little deceptive as well: If we envision the "worse-case scenario" and figure out a way to handle it, then can we not face whatever comes our way? Being prepared is sure better than be "surprised" in a bad way!

We will be thinking of you and hoping for a good report tomorrow. In the meantime, please feel us beside you!

Blessings.
Rachael

PS...Crying can be great release...Sort of like a pressure cooker...It might help you deal with all those fears that are overwhelming you at this moment. So, find a nice alone place and cry! And then cry some more! And when you feel a bit relieved of all the tension, then dry off your face and go back to "stoic mode" for a bit! (Me? I found the shower or a graveyard super places for such!! In the shower I could be alone and the water hid the tears. In a graveyard, who cares???...Everyone who sees you figures you are crying over the grave of a lost loved one! Gives you a real sense of freedom of expression! )
A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song.
Maya Angelou
 
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dguill78 replied to judyfams's response:
Thanks my doctor also discussed the genetic testing but that's a whole other situation that I fear may make me make decisions based on fear and not reality. As an oncology nurse I have seen women just the gun with surgeries that may or may not be necessary based on genetic testing. I just haven't done enough research on it myself to say that I know 100% that I want to know those answers. I am keeping busy. No time to sit hardly other than my posts. LOL !!! Tomorrow is Monday and hopefully some answers will be found but you are all right this limbo time is a nightmare. I have found it beneficial to meditate and use breathing exercises and have been able to sleep at night. But not as good as I used to. I just feel like right now everything is going 100 miles per hour and m still stuck in the slow lane. I haven't had time to think about very much. I'm not the type of person who,wants to make decisions based on fear but I'm just scared I won't have time to research things due to my fear of leaving my children, husband, etc. I just wish like you said I was back in control. But for now I will take some deep breaths. Go to church and cook some Sunday dinner for my busy family. Thanks so much for your answers, advice, and support. I will update hopefully with some sort of answers.
 
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dguill78 replied to rachael67's response:
Thanks so much. I think that's family doesn't really know how to respond. I got everything from I have one it was nothing to you need to think positive. If you think negative that is what you'll get. I'm trying to stay positive. But I just feel like you have no one to really talk to because if you're not positive of what's your diagnosis you feel kind of out of it. Not really a part of anything. Just in the middle. I have survivors that I know saying oh well it can't be this because of this and because of your age and because you did this and you did that and decreases your risk. I wish they would just understand that I'm scared and unsure and look into the eyes of my kids and say all I want to do is be here for them. But I will continue to think positive fight my gut feeling and stand firm in my faith in God.
 
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mhall6252 replied to dguill78's response:
Don't you just love all that "well-meaning" advice that if you think negative, that's what will happen??? I will say that if you are anticipating the worst and it comes to be, then you will have lived through it twice. (I think that was a paraphrase from Michael J Fox.) So while I know it's almost impossible, try not to dwell on the worst case scenario.

Sending positive thoughts for answers today that ease your mind. And if it turns out to be that worst case scenario, you know you've got us here to help you get through it.

Hugs,
Michelle
Michelle
Read my blog at www.mch-breastcancer.blogspot.com
Smile and the world smiles with you!
 
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jenna291 replied to mhall6252's response:
Oh the crazy advice we get from some people! Really, I don't believe it you think negative you will get ill. Seriously, I think I am I am a really positive person in life and here I am!

I am joining the others in sendin you positive thoughts. Know we are hear for any and all questions, or to just vent along with you.

best ~
Jenna
 
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dguill78 replied to jenna291's response:
Thanks for all your well wishes. After a spot compression and ultrasound it is a place we will watch. They do not believe it is anything more than an area of cystic changes. Which means nothing to me. I go back in 6 months for a follow up mammogram. At this time call me crazy but I consider this good news !!!!
 
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mhall6252 replied to dguill78's response:
Absolutely good news!!! I hope you are relieved and can relax now that you have some answers. Celebrate and have a wonderful week!
Michelle
Read my blog at www.mch-breastcancer.blogspot.com
Smile and the world smiles with you!
 
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rachael67 replied to dguill78's response:
YES! It IS good news! Time to exhale, Gal!!

Please keep us posted on how things are going. You will remain in our thoughts.

Blessings.
Rachael
A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song.
Maya Angelou
 
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jenna291 replied to rachael67's response:
Yes, it is most definitely good news! Time to breathe, enjoy each day.

~ Jenna


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