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    not officail yet
    vrswesley posted:
    I have my yearly mamogram last week, no big deal, except today they calledf and said they wanted toi do more tests..I said ok but do you know whats up.. but she was just a scheduling person..she sugjested I call the doc.. so this afternoon I finally had time... talked to the nurse.. very friendly and understanding.. she read the report to me.. here in very clinical sounlding words.. I have a "9 mm(1 cm) oval density in my right breast" ...they dot know what it is could be serious.. maybe not.. wont know till we do more tests on nov 29th..she explained a little more..that helped except.....I Hate waiting..thinkits cruel.. but we wait. anybody want to give me a ride that day? its in the morning about 9-11.

    but the thing is I believe I know the answer..its weird but I walked into that test room last week thinking..they are going to find somthing this time. and they did. now it still coulsd be any thing but in my mind I again know im dieieng..., just do.. I have really mixed feeling.. and I hope I dont offend anybody or hurt anybody.. buyI believe Im dieing.. Im both scared and.. happy.... happy because(and this will explain the rest.) my husband died 8 months ago and I want to go to him. not happy cause I dont want to leave people here....I hope this is ok.hope somebody understands alittle.

    at least thankyou for listening. hey I maybe wrong I may be fine.

    rachael67 responded:
    Friend, anyone who has ever been in this limbo or has had a cancer diagnosis knows exactly the roller-coaster you are on although most of us didn't begin in such a sad place as you with the recent death of your husband!

    Yes, limbo sucks big time!! And having to wait so long is dreadful! (Any chance they can let you know if an appointment opens before that time and slip you in earlier?)

    Please remember to BREATHE!!!! It is an excellent way to help you thru this "dark" place!

    Don't borrow trouble...It has a nasty way of finding us without painting a target on our backs!

    What they saw on the image could be many different things, but let's assume for now it is malignant. Now, that also opens the door to all sorts of possibilities as well as all sorts of solutions! Once you have a little better handle on exactly what you are facing, you will be able to become more informed and educated on all your options. When you research on the internet, make sure you go to reputable sites only! Too many witch doctors and snake oil salesmen lurk out there!

    And make sure you keep in touch on here...Ask questions of the community who have been there/done that! They will offer their own experiences as well as a hand to hold! Support is vital!!

    RE: support and that asked for ride, know that we will all be aboard the Pink Bus (aka "Pinkie") to escort you to each appointment. --Take a look at the "Tips" on the right side of this page to learn more about our Pinkie...She is one hecks of a vehicle, filled with friends and good food and drink and even celebrities on demand!!

    Meanwhile, please know you are in our thoughts and we will hope to hear good news from you in the future!

    Just when the caterpillar thought her world was over, she became a butterfly! Don't give up five minutes before the miracle!!
    vrswesley replied to rachael67's response:
    thankyou..well I did call and ask for a sooner appt. and got it!, next tues.. so at least itsa not three weeks away.
    rachael67 replied to vrswesley's response:
    Good! Will hold you in my thoughts.

    Just when the caterpillar thought her world was over, she became a butterfly! Don't give up five minutes before the miracle!!
    vrswesley replied to rachael67's response:
    One thing driving me crazy is all the people-friends-telling me how its probably nothing, theyve had cysts, , whatever. I keep thinking, that doesnt help me-this its my body..Ive never been here before plus my father went throuh this and it was cancer.. (not breast), and my sister died of breast neice has it now...when these poeple tell me these things.I know their trying to help..but that doesnt... just say you understand the fear.. and your here for me...thankyou for your help. oh they did say they could get me in earlier!, now its next tues the19th?
    rachael67 replied to vrswesley's response:
    Hear their hearts and not their words!
    We have to learn to appreciate that many individuals don't quite know what to say. Fearing being silent and just listening to us isn't enough, they have a need to say
    "something"...And that "something" isn't always appropriate.

    For the others who are just plain stupid, shake your head and sigh ...Not much more can be said!

    Just when the caterpillar thought her world was over, she became a butterfly! Don't give up five minutes before the miracle!!
    vrswesley replied to rachael67's response:
    yes I know , you are right,, Ive thought about that.. I hate it but I do know they are trying..even though many say exactly the wrong thing. I have one friend who wont say anything cause shes afraid of saying the wrong thing.I often write her and thell her she can talk .. and tell me shes the and loves me..thats what she should say.

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