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Stage 3 Survivors?
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Carol5363 posted:
I am Stage 3B. 12 of 13 positive nodes. Bi-lateral mastectomy, completed 4 months of chemo and now into 4th week of radiation. Saw a new doctor yesterday who said to me I will not survive this. That although my scans are clear now, he is sure my cancer is just undetectable at this point and all my treatment is doing for me now is just buying time from the inevitable. I have a 2 year old daughter. None of my other doctors have ever spoken this way before. Anyone out there been in my position and have gone many years clean? I am devastated. Please help.
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lizzie021219411941 responded:
Oh Carol! He may think he knows what he is talking about, but he doesn't know YOU! He doesn't know you are a warrior and a survivor. Some women on this board are fighting with worse diagnosis. They will certainly respond. Get another doctor! My best to you. Betty-CT
 
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angel17941947 responded:
Hi Carol

I was Stage 3-A. 6 of 9 positive nodes. That was in Jan 2002. Only God decides whether you live or die. The survival rate may not be too good but that does not mean that you can't beat it. I had 8 Chemo's every three weeks and then 25 radiations 5 days a week until that was over. I also have had 6 operations within that time and I am still kicking. Put your faith in the Lord because he can heal you. I do have problems from time to time but so far it hasn't been my time and until it does, only God knows.

Prayers, Hugs, and Blessings

Look on our candle site as I have lit a candle for you

pat
 
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Rachael67 responded:
LIke the playground bully that you always would love to take behind the school and beat the crap out of, I think that doctor should receive a similar treatment! SHAME ON HIM!!! Just when was he elected God???? No one can predict how long another has! As one of our members always said: I don't have an experiation date stamped on my tush!!!

Many of our members have lived long and productive lives with stage 3. I do hope you will hear from them! And drop that doctor!! No one needs such an insensitive and depressing physician!

Please come here often for answers, shared stories and a good laugh now and again! We are open 24/7 just for one another. (Also, if you'd like to vent loudly, we here for that as well! I am so sorry that you had to have such a dreadful experience!!)

Prayers, blessings and blue-sky days for you...and for that little one as well!

Rachael
 
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djmelt responded:
Hi Carol,

I haven't "seen" you in a while and was wondering how things were going. I am so sorry that this supposed dr. treated you the way he did. Some drs. as I'm sure you know have a huge case of "God complex". Obviously this is one of them. He is not only wrong, he's an idiot. I'm sorry I'm being so brutal, but I hope you never see this jerk again. I am a stage 4 survivor that just celebrated my 4th year. I am not cancer free, but it is under control and things are looking good. I had 11 out of 14 nodes, including my sentinal node were cancerous. I was told that my sentinal node had no normal cells at all, it was all cancerous. My own onc. told me that I could live a long life with stage 4, that it is no longer a death sentence and she is right. I know stage 4 survivors that have and are living 15 to 20 years. I know I'm not stage 3, but if my stage 4 looks so good, imagine what you can do with stage 3.

I bet you will be around long enough to at least become a grandmother, who knows? Certainly not that idiot that you saw. Please do not take anything he said to heart. He is WRONG!!!!! If at all possible, go to another dr. What kind of dr. is he, besides stupid? I hope and pray that you will find a dr. that understands breast cancer and actually cares about his patients. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Love and Big Hugs, Donna
 
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mommerpuss responded:
Please please get yourself to someone more positive! You need doctors around you who believe in you and your ability to fight this!
 
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Debby30635 responded:
Too many here have survived with Stage 3 to justify this doctor's statement. I was dx. with 3B, Inflamatory Breast Cancer, couldn't take radiation due to lungs. This was Sept. 2005, I took 6 mos of chemo. Had mastectomy and completed a year of Herceptin. I have been "cancer free" since May of 2006. I don't understand the whys, or whos of this disease, but I always just knew that I would be ok. I kept that attitude and still have that attitude....be positive. Go to the best cancer institute you can get to. Where do you live. Many here can give you recomendations.
 
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kkb22 responded:
What a doctor...sounds like my general physician. Both times I was diagnosed with cancer he was a lot like that. Talked about the decisions I might have to make even talked about hospice.

I take it for what it is worth. If this is a new doctor find a new one that is more positive. My onc tells me it is his job to put me into remission until the next new drug comes along. You aren't even to that point yet. Hang in there and don't let him bring you down as attitude can play a big part in how all this goes.

Besides that Mr. Gloom md gave me a permanent handicapp sticker because I don't think he thought I would survive....fooled him
 
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Carol5363 responded:
Thank you for all the positive feedback. I have an excellent oncologist and breast surgeon. Although my cancer was not caught as early as one would hope, I still felt positive that even though it was discovered in my nodes it was not detected in any of my scans. With 4 months of aggressive chemo which included Avastin and 30 rounds of radiation, why can't I think this could be cured? Cancer can be cured. This radiologist oncologist had never met me before yesterday and yet he said to me that with my number of nodes involved he is certain it has spread elsewhere. When I asked him why would I put myself through all of this than, he replied that in the end at least I could say I did everything I could. My other doctors have never spoken to me like this. I knew this would be a battle. Anyone with a cancer diagnosis knows that it is possible to die from this, but I believe people can survive it also and be cancer free. Is this a fantasy?
 
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Nico1e responded:
Hi Carol,

I too am Stage 3B (or thereabouts - the docs are a little uncertain on the letter) and have every intention of surviving this. Like you, I have the best motivation possible - watching my child grow up. She was two and a half when I was diagnosed a year ago, and every second I have had with her (through chemo, surgery, etc.) has been made more precious by the knowledge that I may not be here to make memories with her down the road. My oncologic surgeon, whom I trust and actually think is a fantastic doc, was straight with me about the stats, and I know they are pretty bleak. However, he also convinced me that everyone's biology is different, and just because the stats are bad does not mean you can't beat this. There is only one you. My family jokes that cancer was foolish to mess with me - it won't know what hit it!!! I hope you can find whatever attitude or motivation it takes for you to believe you will be here. It has been very helpful for me to visualize future events with my daughter - swimming in a lake with her and her dad when she's 8 or 9; teaching her to drive when she's 16; all those things you look forward to with your kids. We've come to terms with the fact that she will be our only; now my focus is on being here for her. (We've also made some changes to our lifestyle that we hope will improve my chances of being here.) Remember too, there are miracles - there are survivors of every form of cancer, at every stage.

I'd love to hear how you are coping with parenting through treatment, fear of recurrence, etc. I am certainly finding myself overprotective at times! If you'd like to email me, I'd welcome it: BCchick1@gmail.com.

Nichole
 
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missedit responded:
Hi Carol: 11 years ago I had stage I disease - no lymph node involvement. 1.5 years ago I was dx'd with Stage 4 disease - we skipped stages 2 & 3. BUT, I am here and back to work full time. Am I on borrowed time? Probably. Is the cancer still there but undetectible, yes. But someone has to live past the 3-4 months you find on the sites for stage 4 cancer and it might as well be you! Someone has to skew the numbers!

By the way - for 10 years I complained about hips aching and hurting. After the chemo I had for the Stage IV cancer a year ago, I am pain free and have stopped pain meds. They also told me I had bone mets to my right hip, but the pain was in the left one. Go figure!
 
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kcfan56 responded:
Hi Carol. Have not posted in a long time. Was lurking today and had to respond. I was 3b. I had 11 of 18 positive nodes. That was in Feb lf 99. Yes it has been ten years. Did chemo, stem cell transplant and then radiation. Went on to tamoxifen and then femara. Stopped the femara recently. Last check up was good. My goal was to see my granddaughter grow up. She is nine now. And she now has 2 brothers and a sister. I am also engaged and looking forward to life. I am 53 years young. And proud of every year older that I have been blessed with. Don't let anyone tell you any different.
 
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Grand_2Daughters responded:
Hi Carol,

I just had to post to you. I still read this site often, but, because my life is so full, I don't have as much time to post regularly. I was diagnosed with 3B breast cancer - 4 of 14 positive nodes (all were removed) in Aug., 1998. I had four months of chemo previous to surgery because my tumor was so large (the chemo reduced it significantly), a left mastectomy with tram flap reconstruction in Feb., 1999 followed, after a break to recover from surgery, with 6 weeks (5 days per week) of radiation. I took five years of tamoxifen and am on my fifth year of femara. I have been cancer free for over ten years - just had my 6 month check-up last month. I can't believe there are doctors such as yours who would talk to a patient like he did. I would change doctors. It sounds like you are almost finished with your radiation. If you desire, you could print out all these responses and hand them to him at your last treatment. Maybe, at least, he would change his attitude towards future patients. No one needs that. We all know that the later stages are not ideal, but, we keep plugging along, and, staying positive does help. I'm convinced of that. My oncologist knows the statistics, but, NEVER talked to me like there was no hope. Neither did my surgeon. or radiation oncologist. I work full-time, and, have been healthy, and, although, cancer will forever be in my mind, it hasn't taken me over. Stay positive and try to put this insensitive doctor out of your mind. He's not worth listening to or thinking about.

Happy Life to you...........Jan
 
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KickNcancer responded:
Oh Boy... Carol just know that doctors are NOT God and although they have very BIG egos' they are not the final decision "period".

I am a stage 3B 2 time BC Survivor and YOU CAN DO THIS. The first time in 1992 and then had my beautiful daughter (now 15) and then again told over the phone of the diagnosis on Halloween 2007. Still happy & living life cancer free as can be.

"I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME."

Many people have experienced many miracles that doctors could not explain. Be ONE! (and consider replacing that particular doctor)

Love Ya, KickNcancer in FL
 
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ginij responded:
hi I just thought you might want to go to this web site for prayers to help you they have some good prayers to help with pain or poor health. the web site is www.guideposts.org/prayer


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