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My mom has breast cancer...just find out
Sweet_Red posted:
Hey everyone... I just found out monday that my mom has breast and today she went to the oncologist. It is in his lymph notes and her left breast as well as in the skin, which they said that part is the inflammatory cancer, so I think she has to kinds of breast cancer at once. She starts Chemo at high doses next week then surgery then radiation. All my friends that know keep telling she going to be just fine with all the technology today and everything. I just don't know what to think. When she came to me a while ago saying she been sore and sometimes she could feel lumps under her arm, I just knew she had it (it runs in the family). I'm not good at expressing my emotions. I just want to cry. I'm so scared of what might happen, even though I am just trying to stay in the now part of it. I am in between jobs right now, so when I am alone during the day, every possibility runs through my mind and I just keep hiding everything and keeping everything inside ( I have always done this unfortionately) plus I don't want to worry my mom about me when she needs to stay strong. I don't know... I guess i just need someone to talk to. What can I expect when the chemo and everything starts next week? Like is my mom going to be really sick all the time and all? Thanks everyone
rachael67 responded:
Hey, Kiddo, I am so sorry to hear that mom got this diagnosis....Sorry for her and for you! When we first hear the word "cancer" we are in total shock. In fact, many of us go temporarily deaf, hearing little beyond that.

A major health issue demands that we enter a new world with a new language and new people and new experiences, etc. And, since change can be quite stressful, when you toss in the fear and confusion of cancer....Well, you know since you and Mom are both in the middle of that mess!

So, what can be expected? Sadly, there is no generalization I can offer as each patient, each cancer is extremely individual. The meds they give can vary greatly as can the reactions one might have. Some chemos are really challenging while others can be rather more gentle than one would expect. Basically, radiation is easier to endure than chemo, but ...again, it all depends.

But how about some basic advice? To begin with, Mom is very blessed to have you at her side! You will never know how important you are right now! Try and accompany her to each and every appointment and treatment as you will be able to hear what she might miss and remind her of what she might forget.

Do research on reputable sites such as WebMD, the American Cancer Society, etc. Bring tons of questions to the doctor and make sure he/she answers them!

I am hoping that you have found a good breast care center with a team approach who will work together to make sure that Mom gets the best medical help available. If at any time you /Mom have misgivings about a doctor, get a 2nd or 3rd opinion! That is important!

Take every day, every treatment one step at a time. To do more will become overwhelming! And to help calm that feeling of being overwhelmed, remember to breathe! Slowly and deeply, in and out. Do this until your world begins to slow down to a more manageable pace. And do it often!!

I would suggest, also, that you post on the main Breast Cancer Exchange as it gets much more traffic and you will not only get information but more support as well. BUT...Don't abandon this site either! Many come to this place who don't visit the other one. I just want you to have the advantage of both!

Feel free to visit often and whenever you think we might help. We are open 24/7! Please know you and Mom are in our thoughts, and let us know how things are going.

Just when the caterpillar thought her world was over, she became a butterfly! Don't give up five minutes before the miracle!!
rosy200 responded:
I think u must contact me , my id is
I was diagnosed with cancer last aug, finished chemos and now on herceptin for an year. Dont worry. Am okay now and have started working. Finally have my own hair now and dont u worry everything will be alright. But my daughter tried to be too strong for me and ended up in trouble so share your thoughts with her . Cos only another daughter can understand what you are reallly going through.. But let me tell you one thing. or rather warn u . Cry, cos it wont be easy and never store emotions . Do write to me anyway cos it is easier to write directly . i can send u my pics if it will make u feel better . Dont worry you mom will be okay. And once again.write your emotions,cry or let it out but please do something .
rosy200 responded:
Forgot to warn u to be careful about infections,avoid going to public places,makes sure she drinks a lot, does her exercises after the surgery(vvvery impt),She will be tired after the chemo and might need someone to help out with making fresh food,juices etc. stay away from lil kids..avoid infection. A lot of chemo patients continue working .It is better to work and keep busy.especially if there is someone to help at home. Anyway dont worry ,am sure you will provide all the emotional support she needs. Ask her to speak to other chemo patients for emotional support.

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