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    Need advice - how hard should I try to make this work?
    jen431O posted:
    I'm seven months pregnant with my second child, conceived through use of infertility treatments. My son was also conceived with medical intervention, and although I fully intended to breastfeed him I never made more than a few drops of milk. The lactation specialist I saw said that I don't have enough milk-producing tissue, and recommended that I nurse every hour and pump between each feeding to try to build up the tissue I needed. Between feeding and pumping, I never got to put a shirt on, much less leave the house, so after two nightmarish weeks I decided to give up and go with formula.

    My husband and I were fine with that decision - the first time I gave my son a bottle, and he ate it and was full and able to sleep, I literally sobbed with relief. My problem was that the lactation consultant made me feel like crap for giving up, along with several of my friends who are very into breastfeeding and think it's the only way to go. One woman from church (who I hardly know) demanded to know if I was breastfeeding and when I said I wasn't able to, she berated me almost to the point of tears!

    Now that I'm expecting my second child soon, I'm torn about how far I should go to try to incorporate some breastfeeding this time. My midwife is supportive of me, and explained that since my body would not have been able to conceive a child on its own, it makes sense that I wouldn't be able to feed one. My question is two-fold - has anyone had luck with teas or anything else used in advance of birth to increase milk supply? Second, if it doesn't work, what can I say to those who feel that breastfeeding is the only way to be a good mother?
    cjl0510 responded:
    I am sorry you had such a hard time with your first baby. Both with the milk production, and the judgement coming from others. Breast feeding, or bottle feeding - what really matters is what's best for YOUR family. Breastfeeding is a good source of food, but if your unable to do so without being overwhelmed and time stricken (because you will have another child as well to look after) - please don't feel bad about it! And don't let others make you either. If they ask I would just reply short and to the point. Don't feel like you have to explain your situation, it's your baby and body- not theirs.

    Sorry I don't have any advice about what to do to help milk production before the baby arrives. But I would suggest trying again for a week or two, and you should know by then if it's not going to work. And if not that's OK!! Good luck, and congrats on your new one coming soon.!!
    jlenn responded:
    To increase milk production you can actually start pumping ahead of time. Some adoptive mothers do this in the months before the adoption (and are actually able to breastfeed a little bit, though of course their babies are primarily formula babies). Start trying to build up the tissue now by pumping -- it can actually have a bit of an effect. And once the baby is born, obviously nurse as much and as often as baby wants to (as opposed to on a schedule).

    At the very least, you have produced a little bit of milk in the past, and you'll produce at least a little again this time. So your baby will get the very valuable colostrum (that pre-milk from the first few days after birth). And your baby will get some actual milk when your milk comes in. Even if you end up not being able to exclusively breastfeed, or can't breastfeed at all for more than a couple weeks, whatever you do will be an added benefit to your baby. So good for you for trying. If it works, wonderful. If not, that really is okay.

    People who feel they can jump in and judge you probably are beyond any kind of rebuke about it. Maybe just stare and say, "medical issues prevented breastfeeding. Thanks for your concern." If they keep up with the judgment -- I don't know. I'd have a hard time being polite. Just remember that rational people *know* you are a good mom and that you are doing what your baby needs!
    MarissasMommy replied to jlenn's response:
    I agree with Jlenn that you should tell them that "medical issues" prevented you from BFing. The first couple weeks of BFing are difficult for almost, if you give it a try for the first couple weeks and it doesn't work out, no harm done right?? Anyway, you do whatever is best for YOUR family for sure. And if BFing is not working out, there is NOTHING wrong with formula feeding. I couldn't BF my first DD and DD#2 only nursed for about 3-4 months ( I pumped for the rest of her first year tho!)...and I'm hoping and praying that things will work out with our baby boy, but IDK. If it doesn't I will NOT be EPing for a year. I just can't tie myself to the pump for another year. Not with a 2 year old and a 7 year old at home!!

    Best wishes to you. If you have BFing succes, AWESOME! If not, you are still a great Mommy and you will do what works best for you and your LO!
    Mainemommy replied to MarissasMommy's response:
    Pumping before the baby comes MUST be OK'd by your OB nipple stimulation can cause labor. That said Fennel fennelshul fennelgreek anise are all the same thing and can be purchased it w the other salad greens and It can help. everychild is different with my Daughter my poor stupid boobs thought I had triplets (Ow) much more normal w/ds ask if there are hormones you can be given they do give them to adoptive moms and even saw an transexual nurse his baby after a sex change. You can give all the effort you want use the polite answer above. If that doesn't work Look 'um dead and they eye and and say "For Medical reasons I haven't been able to to nurse thank god you can I have been looking for a wet nurse" evil grin

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