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Cancer Realities: Outliving Your Prognosis
Letting Her Go
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Miss_Vikki posted:
My mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor in her frontal lobe 6 months ago. She had sergury and the tumor removed. Her tumor was located in the part of the brain where the emotions are. Since then she's been up and down with depression and such. She's 65 btw. She recently had a stroke, that left her right side paralized. She can't talk, hasn't eaten since the 15th of this month. Shs'e bruised and whithering away. I'm so drowned with greif right now. I visited her today at the nursing home. I know she heard me. She opend her eyes and looked at me.

I guess my biggiest issue is, how do I tell my mother, that it's okay to go? It's okay to stop fighting, to stop suffering? I tried today and I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. I choked up. My dad is 75 and not in the best health, and I think she's holding on because she doesn't want to leave him alone. I want her to know that my sister and I am here and will look after my dad and that she can be at peace, but I can't get past my own emotions to do this. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life. I don't want her to die. But I know how much she suffering. The Dr.'s have given up all hope, and the nursing home wont put an i.v in her to give her any sort of nutrition. And they added a DNR wrist band to her arm today.

I don't know how to handle this.

Vikki
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dontmattermyname responded:
First of all I am very sorry for you, your family and your mother. I believe the words will come to you. I cant imagine having to say goodbye to my mom, but I do believe in a better place where there is no suffering. Maybe you and your sister can talk to your mom together. When I lost someone very close to me, the only way I was able to over come my emotions was to talk about it. If you pray, then pray. The words to say will come to you. Everyone here is really nice and supportive. There are many online groups as well as us random people here who are here to help you in any way we can. Im am truly sorry for your situation and I hope peace finds you and your family. Sorry if this isnt the answers you are looking for but I wanted to just let you know that I was thinking of you and your and your situation. Best wishes and take care Vikki.

Pat
 
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Haylen_WebMD_Staff replied to dontmattermyname's response:
Vikki - I went through this with my mother in September. Sending big (((hugs))) to you.

Just hold her hand, tell her you love her and don't worry about words. And do take care of yourself - I've found a grief support group has been very helpful.

I echo Pat - I don't have the answers but am thinking of you...

Haylen
 
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Miss_Vikki replied to Haylen_WebMD_Staff's response:
My mom passed away yesterday. This is a sad time for everyone right now. I just wanted to thank you for your kind words.
 
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dontmattermyname replied to Miss_Vikki's response:
Im sorry for your loss Vikki. I hope peace finds you like it has found your mother. Best wishes to you and your family.
 
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Haylen_WebMD_Staff replied to Miss_Vikki's response:
Vikki - the loss of my mother hit me like a ton of bricks. Please do reach out for support and talk to others who have faced this difficult time.

My thoughts and big (((hugs))) are with you -

Haylen
 
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bigeyes116 responded:
Vikki, when it's her time she will go. God determines how long a person lives, and until god says it's her time (cherish the moments).
 
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bigeyes116 replied to Miss_Vikki's response:
I'm sorry,
 
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live2dedicatevietnam replied to Miss_Vikki's response:
Vikki,

I am sorry for the loss of your mother. She is smiling in Heaven and watching over you.

Big hug to you!


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