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Cancer/Relationship Question, Issue With Ex-Girlfriend
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An_240282 posted:
I broke up with my girlfriend about 1-1/2 years ago. It was a rough, abusive relationship. She was out of control emotionally and did things that pushed me away from her to the point that we broke up. In my opinion it was a horrible relationship.

She keeps on trying to "re-connect" with me and most times I blow it off. She's been wanting to have sex with me lately, but I didn't agree with it.

Now, she contacts me and says that she has cancer. Cancer is a very serious thing to deal with. At first, I told her that she's nuts and that I don't care. But, I feel like I do care. She seems to keep on wanting me to be a shoulder to lean on, but it's hard for me to agree to this, because we had such a bad relationship.

When I told her that I don't care, she wrote a long email back to me, telling me I should seek help. I understand why she would say and feel like that. I ignored her reply and a couple of days later, out of the kindness of my heart, I wrote back to her to ask how she's feeling.

I'm confused. I'm not sure if I should let her cancer be a reason for us to get back in touch and start caring about each other, or if we should still keep our distance.

As much as I hated her actions during our relationship and as much as I despised her behavior in so many ways, I now have this curiosity to know that she's doing well. On one hand I want to show no care and ignore her situation. On the other hand, I want to be there for her, at least emailing back and forth and being supportive.

What are your thoughts?
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An_240282 responded:
So, nobody has any thoughts or advice on this situation?
 
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worn1 responded:
anon
. Why have any communication if you have negative feelings for her. Health wise a positive attitude helps with recovery and a negative can slow down recovery and lead to depression. Going back into a relationship with her benefits no one.

w
 
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georgiagail responded:
I may sound a tad cynical here but you have no accurate information that said girlfriend does have "cancer".

The fact that she appears to be a fairly manipulative and rather obsessive individual in terms of wanting to get back together with you would suggest it might not be unrealistic for her to invent a serious disease in an attempt to "guilt" you back with her.

Gail


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