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Question about reimbursement
Aqua14 posted:
Hi all,

This is the first time I've posted on this board, even though I've been a caregiver for my mom for about 6 years. However, over the past 6 weeks her health has declined markedly, resulting in hospital and nursing home care, and I've spent hours and hours and hours on caregiving.

Yesterday I decided to add up all my time and efforts and extra expenses over the past 6 weeks, and I was shocked at the result. I am starting to feel that it is not fair that I take such a financial (and physical, and emotional) "hit" for caregiving without my mom reimbursing me somewhat. (She does have the financial means to easily do so without putting a dent in her savings.) My sister provides absolutely no support, and although my brother has done a few things, the lion's share of work has fallen on me.

Has anyone here had a similar experience? I fear that without some financial reimbursement I will not be able to provide this level of support to my mom as her health declines in the future, because I will simply not be able to pay my bills. I apologize in advance if this sounds selfish of me to merely ask the question.

Thanks all. Judy
Louise_WebMD_Staff responded:
It doesn't sound awful. You need to talk to your mom and family about the extra expenses and how it is difficult for you to cover them. I would show them your calculations. Then consider whether there is a different way to approach things that would be more fair. Do you need more help? Should she reimburse you for out of pocket expenses? Could your siblings do more?
Aqua14 responded:
I did talk to my mom about it, and she did agree to reimburse me initially but now is having cold feet about it. My sister helps not at all (she's 4 hours away) and my brother has not helped much these past 6 weeks for various reasons. Neither is in a financial situation such that they could reimburse me.

I am hoping that now that the crisis is over and my mom is going back to her apartment my brother will help more, and he says he will, but he doesn't want to handle the medical stuff, which is considerable and time-consuming. It's ironic because he is unemployed and has lots of time to do things, and I work full-time and am running out of my vacation time.

Thanks for letting me vent. Judy
secondgearswife responded:
Depending on the state you live in you may be able to receive caregiver benefits from the Department of Children and Family. Here in Florida the same agency that issues Food Stamps handle the caregiver benefits. I have talked with this department and was told that medical information would be needed. I have not applied for these benefits yet but will be doing so in the near future. I'm not sure if Social Security still has caregiver benefits guess we should check with that department too.

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