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Louise_WebMD_Staff posted:
I find myself thinking of how to make the new year better all around-for myself as a mother and caregiver, for my family, and for my mother and sister's need for care. I did get some new things to help mama move around the house more independently a couple of weeks ago.

I just wonder if after this first year of being her primary caretaker if I have done too much and made her too dependent. I also wonder if I can really put in place changes like having her eat at the table rather than most of her meals in bed.

Anyone else dream up the perfect caregiving scenarios for the New Year?
renalupie1 responded:
You remind me of a scenario a few years ago. I was trying to NOT spend so much time at the nursing home with mom. She was mad because she was "stuck" there, and not involved with the day to day goings on at home. She always loved being in the middle of everything, so it was hard for her to lose that. Everyone said she liked being in control of me, I felt it was losing independance. Anyhoo. Mom started to be "sick". This mystery illness that no one could figure out. Doc admitted her to the hospital and ran a bunch of tests, and she admitted that she was just trying to make me spend more time with her. It was tough, he ordered her to spend a week without me, but that lasted a couple days. She really was dependant on me.

I realize now, after all is said and done, big deal. So she needed me. I was her lifeline. I kept her going and doing things long past the time most people would have put her in a home and visited her every other sunday. We all deserve a little spoiling in our old age. I have no regrets on doing all I did for her. I remember her saying she was sorry that I had to feed her everyday, she couldn't do it for herself there at the end. I told her that she fed me when I was helpless, it was payback time.

The person who can come up with the perfect caregiving scenario will be a billionaire....

Good luck.


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