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Dealing with grief after being caregiver
Holeinmyheart posted:
Just lost my elderly Mom to Alzheimers/Vascular Dementia a few weeks go...was her caregiver for some time and then managed (and I mean managed!) her care at nursing home, visiting 2-3 times a day...loss gets to be some days...trying to remain positive...much to deal with and process now...didn't have time to do so when I was caring for her. Now it's easy to remember how wonderful she was hard while she wasn't like was hard. But now I'd do anything for one more more hug....and yet I feel at peace that I helped her through right til the end. Doesn't make it easier, really....just sad tonight. Guess that's normal, huh?
Andie_WebMD_Staff responded:
So sorry to hear of your loss. Losing a parent is very difficult and it takes time for that adjustment in your life to really sink in.

I lost my mom after a stroke and 2 weeks on life support. Although I was never her caregiver I do remember the sadness you are feeling. I can only imagine how much more painful it is after being your mom's right hand.

Because you were kept so busy tending to her needs the reality of losing her was kept at a distance. Now that you are dealing with the emotions and mourning I would really recommend reaching out to others that are healing from their loss as well. We have a wonderful Grief & Loss Exchange that you may find helpful and supportive. I hope you will look in.

Take care,

Holeinmyheart replied to Andie_WebMD_Staff's response:
Thank you...yes, I have done just that...I posted on the Grief & Loss Exchange last evening as well. After having been a Caregiver for so long I guess I'm used to digging up resources and using every one of them!! LOL...
Thanks again!
Andie_WebMD_Staff replied to Holeinmyheart's response:
That's good to hear you are so resourceful and found our other exchange.

Please come back here and check in every so often to offer your advice to other Caregivers as well. You will always be a part of our home here too!

BerniBaby responded:
So sorry for the loss of your dear Mother. I lost my Dad six years ago under similar circumstance....very difficult. Now I am caring for my husband so I went from being the caregiver for my Dad to the caregiver for my husband. Neither role is fun at all, but my only bit of advice would be to say in the case of your Mom, remember the good times you had with one can take that away from you....and, then hopefully you can take comfort knowing she is no longer in pain. And, that one day at a time thing....all true, but sometimes I have to make it one hour at a time or maybe even one minute at a time. Bless you during this time and someday it will get easier.....really....just have faith. And, yes, being SAD is very normal....part of the grieving process.....

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