Caregiving Community

in my own experience, men seem to be able to shut-down better than women. it seems like when their workday is done they figure their time is their own. whoever said "a man's work is from sun to sun but a woman's work is never done" sure was onto something!
oh, i know men have worries all their own but they just don't "feel" things the same way as women. we worry about everything from "what's for dinner?" to "did i forget somebody's birthday?". that's on top of the job of caregiving. men get jealous of any attention someone else is getting (even if they don't realise it). this puts even more pressure on women. we try to be everything to everyone and that leaves very little time or energy for us to spend on ourselves.
i wake up several times every night with a dozen things running through my head all at once. why did i do that? why didn't i remember to do this? what can i do to make it better? of course, the answers are few and far between and the stress just keeps building. on the rare occasions when i do get a good night's sleep, i actually feel guilty because my husband didn't or because i might have not heard the phone if my mother, who i take care of, might have tried to call me.
i don't have any answers that work for me. but, if you can convince yourself that YOU ARE WORTHY and deserve some time to rest yourself you'll be ahead of the game.
let me back up a little..... try this: pick a word or phrase and a relaxing place you've been to. now lay down, close your eyes,take slow deep breaths while repeating your word or phrase. start at the top of your head and push the anxiety clear through your body and out the tips of your toes (imagine pouring a warm glass of water over yourself from the inside out). try repeating this until you feel yourself relaxing. if you can remember to do it regularly just repeating the word can start to help you relax. whooo! i wish i'd remembered that before now. i used to do that when i was a young working mother and it actually did help some. good luck!

I agree, Mawills58, with your explanation of women "feeling" things differently.

Thanks also for sharing the tip for relaxing!

Elizabeth