Caregiving Community

I just sent a long reply to you. I am sorry that you did not get it once I voted on it. I will be back and put my reply in again.

My main questions in your decisions: 1. Does he comprehend you? 2. I do not know what med stage is like. 3. It is sad, but only caregivers want to know about a person's health. Most people do not want to have anything to do with a person who has Alzheimer's. People need to be educated.

I hope I am not coming on strong. I really feel for you. I will be back to put in the rest of my reply. Get an attorney so you will be able to put him in a retirement home when the time comes.Another question, can you still take care of him?

Ruth

I noticed that you said, that it is a neighbor you are taking care of. You will definitely need an attorney since you are not a relative.

I am at the early onset stage of Alzheimer's. I plan on giving my husband a durable power of attorney, so he can put me in a retirement home. I do not want my husband to feel quitlly about it. That way it will be up to him to decide when he cannot take care of me anymore.

I feel for you. It sounds like his cousin was making all of the decisions. You have been hired to take care of him. It is up to the cousin to make the decisions. Tell the cousin what is going on and let her/him decide.

It is sad that people who have Alzheimer's are ignored by their families and friends. I feel that it is still "in the closet." People need to be educated about Alzheimer's. My friends are staying by me now. What will happen when I reach med stage?.

I hope you will answer me.

Ruth

Hi~ it is said I have 2-replies yet I am unable to see or get to them?

Hi Ruth- Eileen(she)is totally coherent.She can be forgetful as she has had 3-head injuries in the past but brilliant & quick-witted.She is in a home where there is little/no care-negligent-has fallen 3-times & where they seem to "control" these elders w/fear.Eileen was not there even a month when she was told(whie being helped up from a fall)to "keep her mouth shut-tell no-one 7 behave & come around-or else.Needless to say,she became withdrawn,fearful & subdued after this.Now she has had an episode of SEVERE bleeding with huge clots.I have told them for 3-wks she has a urinary/bladder infection & after 2-wks finally got a urine spec done.Of course she did only now worse-to kidneys? NO xrays,no MD,unable to eat & in severe pain.I was told to stay away at lunch time.She lost over 20 lbs there & didn`t eat UNLESS I WAS there.SO much more!!Lawyers have been contacted-bottom line-I am NO-ONE because I am not related.Further more even Morgan & Morgan(who has sued this home name in other ares)cannot step in unless & until she is hospitalized which they will not do.??? It is NOT just her-every day ppl there are injured visibly & spirits are gone.You can so obviously see this is their posture,demeanor & empty eyes.When I speak to- or touch them,there eyes light up & they look up sheepishly & "smile'.it is unreal sad & and so not right.

Hi Ruth-I am sure the woman you addressed received your reply.Mine was about the woman-Eileen,not man.You are kind!

Hi moebutterfly, Eileen should be moved to another place. There are good places that care for their clients. I hate the word patient. Client is the correct medical term, although they use patient instead.

In Eileen's case she is a patient. The word patient means to suffer.

I would go to an attorney and see what your right's are as a caregiver.

Thank you for saying that I am "kind." I care for people and want to support people. I am glad that I am helping you. You have a hard time being a caregiver. It is not easy making the right descision.Let me know what happens.

HUGS, Ruth

Hi Ruth; Got Morgan & Morgan which I couldn`t do until Eileen went to hospital-which she did-FIVE days after bleeding out! I asked cooperation of hospital social worker to be present day investigator was coming (& to be a witness)...instead,a host of people were present including the nursing home MD who Eileen never saw before.They gave Eileen a great number of meds & then she didn`t even know who she was.Investigator left a bit put out & never even spoke to me!.That was the day I was to become POA when Eileen signed...they made sure she could not.A couple of days later when I was visiting Eileen the social worker came in & asked me to follow her to her office right away.There was a nurse(so-called)present as well.Neither looked at me at all-social worker stated i was to leave the premises & no longer allowed on that property for any reason.I asked why-she said I had slandered the home.I told her there was a huge difference between slander-& the truth & that Eileen had been neglected,fallen & injured on 3-different occasions,threatened & intimidated,given improper diet,not all of her necesary meds & left unclean & then to bleed nearly to death before a transfusion...no response-they just got up & walked out with me...followed me down corridor,onto elevator & off towards door.I asked if I was being excorted out-Yes! I was.I said-Neat! Thank you.Eileen was brought back to the home next AM where she has been unresponsive & in fetal position ever since,not eating & just waiting to die.And,I "know" she knew when I was with her & I was ALL she had here! Her POA brother is a cold-hearted man & the home needs to be closed.W/out Eileen,I have no proof as i am sure they doctored the records.There were MANY aids & a couple of nurses on my side & I have all documented by dates plus sent such in great detail to a couple of Eileen`s family members who kept them all but that is all.And,the workers there said if I mentioned what they told me & that they were in agreement with me,that they would lose their jobs...most there hate it yet there are so few jobs! So,I am mourning my lovely lady & praying for God to take her quickly & "trying" to forgive her brother feeling empty & very upset that I am unable to have helped not only Eileen,yet all of the others there-in the same boat.This has been THE worst experience in my life & I am waiting to doscover a lesson in all of it? Thank you for your response! Blessings***,Maureen

Oh,on the above,as I was writing,i got a message & believe a sentence was blipped out which was the following;The day "after" the investigator came to hospital,Eileen was released back into nursing home custody & couple of days after that when I was asked to leave Eileen`s side & the home.