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Sole Caregiver/Burn-Out
marly26 posted:
My father-in-law came to live with us in 2007. He had a Front Lobal Bleed. When we called him in Dec/06 to find out what he was doing for Christmas. He got to the phone but made no sense. We live abt. 1 1/2hrs. away. Brother-in-law 20min. away. We called the ambulance and my brother-in-law rushed to his residence. He was taken to hospital, CT Scans, MRI showed he had approx. 18hrs. Needless to say, myself having been employed in Healthcare, was suggested as he needed much care. We brought him to our home in Jan/08. Took him to a Neurologist, he suggested 3mos.At this point it was suggested we get his affairs in order, his home was sold, everything was taken care of via his Attorney. Took him back to Neurologist for his 6mos. appt', that which he thought would not be. It is now 2013 and he is still with us. I am embarrassed to say that my husband is useless when it comes to caring for his father. If I blow my stack, which doesnt' happen frequently and never at my father-in-law, I get support for abt. one day. Then it is back to the same old ways'.
He was admitted to hospital abt. 6mos. after coming to us. He had had a stroke. He was in hospital for roughly two wks. Another time he was admitted was after having problems from surgery for his lower parts. The name has left me, my apologies. In hospital for a wk. then back home. I do have Home-Care which only consists' of 4hrs. per wk. Wonderful Health System we have in Ontario. He just came out of the hospital from a Bladder Infection as well as my thoughts, a stroke. Not just a TIA. He has since come home. It is so very hard to care for him now. Talking to him he doesnt' understand. He has a hard time getting words' out. His ability to do very much is so very limited. Yes he can feed himself, dressing now is so very hard for him. He is a sweetheart, he does' try so very hard to be of help. I can honestly say that he has been a joy to care for, and I do love him dearly. I myself am on Disability due to Chronic Back Pain (injured my back in 2001) as well as Psoriasis and Psoriatic Arthritis. So I myself have a hard time getting around. I understand that my husband has Health issues', back surgery x2, Diabetic and now problems with his Liver. However this cannot account for as little help as I am getting. I have just recently said he has to go to a home because I just can not handle it anymore. Of course the same thing, I will help more. His other son who lived not far from him has recently just passed away in 05/2013, however he and his wife had only taken him 3 times in approx. 3yrs. Another brother-in-law who resides with us works all day, so he is not available.
I am looking to hear from others' in the same situation, to receive some answers', as in what to do. I would certainly appreciate any comments that would come this way. Hoping to hear from anyone, as I said, I just cant' handle this anymore.

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