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Louise_WebMD_Staff posted:
So, we are logging the as needed meds and the days Mama doesn't get out of bed. I want to do this and the doctor wants this information so we can make appropriate decisions regarding medications, etc.

This has led to my mother refusing to ask for any "as needed" meds and a lot of unnecessary pain and discomfort for her. It also leads to things like the other day where she was clearly quite ill and yet refused to go back to bed until I would assure her that I wouldn't note it as a "stayed in bed" day.

When I try to discuss this rationally with her, she gets all upset about how she feels like she is letting us down by not "following the rules" or "not trying hard enough." I try to explain that this isn't a competition and the notes are not about tattling on bad behavior but to help her get the care she needs. I try to explain to her that I love her no matter what and that it isn't our expectations. I am not having much progress.

Any ideas on how to fix this?
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GAP1954 responded:
Keep the log private between you and the doctor. Make your entries when and where she does not see them and advise the doctor of her concern about the log. A part of caregiving that many people find uncomfortable is the need to become a pretty creative ?liar?. Provide the information that helps and avoid information that only upsets and makes life unpleasant.
 
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Louise_WebMD_Staff responded:
Ugh. I am not good at sneaking around my mother. It may be the best choice though.
 
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Johnnie38 responded:
I don't see this as sneaking. Nurses make all sorts of notes in medical records for the docs to see and the patient or patient's advocates rarely have privvy to them. As a part of your mom's medical team, I think this is within the boundary of appropriate measures to ensure the best care for her.


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