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att76 posted:
Sorry I have been a little MIA lately, but things have been crazy. I check in once in a while, but haven't posted a whole lot because I am trying to keep myself less stressed. However, I don't think that is working. I thought I was less stressed and then towards the end of when I am suppose to get AF I start thinking about everything more and more. I know I shouldn't but it truely is hard not to!!!

I have been having some weird things happen this month and I have a message into my RE into why my body is doing this. I won't go into TMI specifics but lets just say BLOOD! I am sure it is just spotting since AF is suppose to show up soon, but it is just annoying. I took a test today only because RE told me to test after 2 weeks, of course BFN. I knew that is what it would be because of all the things that have been happening lately.

Hope everyone else is doing well!
Me(36), DH(37), TTC 20 months,3 rounds clomid, 3 IUIs with HCG trigger/clomid all BFNs, now trying naturally
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laurasnow responded:
Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time. I know that, in the past, you have been so supportive to so many of the ladies here and it stinks that you're just trying to hang on, it seems. I know where you are coming from; I don't really post much, but i often check up to see what has been going on, and I hope for the best for everyone - so many hopes on the line here, sometimes it's a little hard. For myself, I moved on to injectables/IUI, got a BFN with 5 (!!) follicles, and my RE still doesn't have any idea what the heck is wrong. All the bloodwork, etc., keeps coming back fine. He even put me on metformin for various reasons (though I do not have PCOS) which caused me to lose 15 lbs, so yay, but still nothing. At any rate, I've given myself a break from treatment for the past few months and I am not sure if we'll return or not. I am sad at the thought, but the stress level and the feeling of being defective or irretrievably broken was almost too much to bear. I wish you all the best in your journey, and I hope things resolve for you. I hope the associated medical issues and emotional ones as well become less stressful for you, and that you find some peace.
 
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Leah25Brooke2 responded:
I'm so sorry. I know how long you've been trying, and hoping that something will work. I, too, have been MIA over the past few weeks - for the same reasons. But like you, I feel almost less stressed when I DO post.. it helps me vent and gives me answers and I find support in other peoples responses. But I sometimes feel like I get way too stressed out about every little thing. It's so hard to just chill out!
Me(26)DH(28)DD(3) TTC 2nd- 13 mos, 1st round of clomid 50mg - BFN, 2nd - MC, 3rd- BFN. Been trying naturally 6mos, waiting for AF in Sep to start 100mg of Clomid!
 
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att76 replied to laurasnow's response:
Thank you very much for the kind words! It has been a roller coaster lately and it sounds like you are kind of having the same unknown infertility. I went to the RE today for a CD 3 u/s to start the IUI process all over again this month. I talked to her about the bleeding problems I have been having and what they could mean. i had endometreosis removed in March and am worried it may be returning. She said that is one possibility, but there are a few others...pollups, cysts any of these could be the reason for the bleeding.

I understand your feeling about feeling defective or irretrievably broken. I often wonder what MY issues may be and what is wrong with me. That is just part of the torment of this whole TTC process.

Thank you so much for the kind words. You have no idea how much I needed to hear them!!
Me(36), DH(37), TTC 20 months,3 rounds clomid, 3 IUIs with HCG trigger/clomid all BFNs, now trying naturally


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