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    i'm a little coconut.
    sitting in a coco patch.
    somebody came and stepped on me.
    i am squished as you can see.
    i'm a nut.
    i'm a nut.
    i'm a nut. i'm a nut. i'm a nut nut nut.
    Serious Subject,, May Trigger...
    MeezaWanzaPeezaPizza posted:
    Ok. So I've been doing something very wrong to myself. It may be wrong but it feels so good. I've been self-mutilating w/ razors and knives. Actually I just started a pocket knife yesterday on the waist. It's getting to be a regular thing with me. I can't stand the guilt that I feel everyday. There is nobody that can help me at this point. I think yesterday was the last time I will cut, but then again I'm afraid that it won't be. I've only told one person I know plus my new therapist. It's definitely not because I want attention,, it's seemingly been a short vacation from the pain I feel inside. I can't smoke because my husband will smell it on me and I'm not supposed to be,, I can't drink cause I will over do it. So what do I do,, the past is over with, I know, but I can't live with myself anymore. The cuts just get worse each time and feel better each time. I feel the urge so strong to and even look at it after I've done it and feel a sense of pride. I even like the pain that comes from it recovering. God, what's wrong with me!
    snowyowl33 responded:

    Hey Hon,
    Nothing is wrong with you, and no one here is going to judge or condemn you . You are using a coping skill that many people use... It isn't a good coping skill, but that's what it is..... Telling your therapist was an excellent step in the right direction. You need to find other coping skills to deal with a lot of hidden emotions you have inside.... Do you journal? Sometimes writing things out and letting the feelings into your writing will have the same effect as cutting does, and it doesn't harm you.. getting out of the situation that has triggered you can help (ie go outside, you can't really cut out there) Get some exercise .. (go for a walk) Call friends and meet for coffee, put an elastic band around your wrist, and snap it when you feel the urge to cut.... There are many other coping skills, and people who totally understand what your going through on the "Self Harm" board .... Check it out, and you'll get some comfort there from people who understand.. and don't think your weird... (we don't think your weird either!!, your hurting.....)

    big hugs
    (thank you for sharing this with us...I know it must have been very difficult... but it's also a step in the right direction....)
    skypper responded:
    I agree with everything snowy has said, i've used the rubberband idea in the past and it does give me a distraction, as well as writing, and at one time i threw away all my pills and blades because i didn't trust myself...but talking to your tdoc is very good and you can always always talk to us here to, nobody is going to judge you, just like snowy said, there is nothing wrong with you, you are a beautiful beautiful soul, {{{HUGS}}}
    MeezaWanzaPeezaPizza replied to snowyowl33's response:
    how do you get to self harm board. I tried and couldn't find it. ugh
    skypper replied to MeezaWanzaPeezaPizza's response:
    here's the link

    i know i still have problems with the new format of the boards...
    skypper replied to MeezaWanzaPeezaPizza's response:
    ok i tried clicking on the link and it didn't work, but it does work if i copy and then paste it into my address bar, just to let you know
    slik_kitty replied to skypper's response:
    that is odd that the link doesn't work, but the address itself is good. i tried it and got the same thing. you can also find it under mental health in the community directory. it's called the self harm community.

    so sorry that you are feeling so badly right now. i fully understand the urges. it isn't a good coping skill but it works for some strange reason. that's why we keep turning to it over and over again. the problem is, it doesn't last very long and we have to keep doing it to feel the effect. i'm glad you talked to your t. i hope she can help you in developing better coping skills. i've done the rubberband thing too and it does help.

    i'll be on facebook tonight if you want to talk. love ya hun. hugs
    If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work - steven wright

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