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Feeling gulity
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BabyGyrl31 posted:
Its been 2 years this past February that I lost my mother to Colon Cancer after battling for 2 years. She wasin April 2007 diagnosised simply b/c she had lost her job and had met her insurance deductible so her doctor decided to run as many tests as possible. When diagnosised she was in stage 4 but had no symptoms. She unwent chemo from June -Sept when she became so dehydrated that I requested the doctor stop the chemo. All of her tests showed that the colon cancer tumor markers were lowering. In October 2008 the markers for ovarian cancer were elevated but the colon markers were still dropping. She was referred to other only physician in our area that deals with ovarian cancer for a consult. In November 2008 we met with the doctor who scheduled her for surgery in January 2009 and requested several test prior to . We explained that Medicaid was taking her card b/c there was no ending date for her unemployment. He stated that was not a problem and he would still do her surgery in January. A call to his office in December when a test could not be performed b/c she did not have insurance nor the money to pay out of pocket she was told that her surgery would be cancelled and she's have to come into the clinic to be seen. On January 14, 2009 we met with the doctor who stated you were supposed to be here on the 5th for surgery and we explained what we were told. His said his office would schedule another appoitnment for surgery. She begins experiencing pain at the end of January beginning of February and I call his office to ask what to do. Was told to give her Aleeve thats what would happen if I took her to the ER. On February 9th she was so week that she could not stand for 5 minutes to cook some oatmeal. I left work and went to the house after calling the doctors office again. Was told nothing they could do for the pain. I then called the doctor that performed her colon surgery who told me to take her to the ER and he would get her admitted. Had to call the Fire Dept to come and transport b/c we have 42steps that she was unable to walk. The week before she passed the doctors whose office cancelled the surgery came into her room and said that since she was unable to walk he could not do surgery and we should just send her to hospice. Not one time while in that room did he even touch her. So after 18 days in the hosptial with 2 stays in the ICU she passed away on February 27th and we were scheuduled to move her to hospice on March 2nd. I still feel that had she had surgery she would still be here but I'm told I can't prove that surgery would have saved her life so I can't even sue him for malpractice. Feel so gulity for not taking her somewhere else out of state for a 2nd opinion.
Upon contacting the employer she had retired from I learned that I could not get her retirement b/c she did not check the right box when she filled it out 2 years before by talking with someone via email and fax. So she worked for 36 years and I got nothing.
Just wanted to tell my story.
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blouf responded:
Just read your story; and I said a little prayer for you! I know only too well how hard it can be to care for your loved one. You always wonder if you are doing all you can. It sounds to me like YOU did all you could and the medical community "dropped the ball"! Please let your guilt go and turn it over to God. My faith is all that has sustained me in the nearly 2 yrs. since moving my mother close to us. Our entire lives have changed dramatically. I love my mother but there are some days I can't decide whether to cry or scream! Hang in there. Ther will be better days ahead. And, if you pray, please pray that I can keep my strength and patience up to see her thru' what's to come. Thinking of you!


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