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Stage IV colon and liver cancer...
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cmw1068 posted:
My father in law was told he had colon cancer in Feb. When he had gone to the Dr they told him that it was also in his liver and growing. It was all stage IV. He finally started chemo in the beginning of June. He told us that he has 12 rounds of chemo. He goes in for 6 hrs then wears a pack for 40 hrs. He has lost a bunch of weight. Now we have been told by my his wife that he is not eating at all, has bed sores, can not get in and out of the shower and can barely walk. He is still at home with her. Also he is only 63.

I have been reading and reading about this. We were told several months ago that he really only has until October maybe. Ten years ago I went through terminal skin cancer with my mom. When she was at this stage she only lasted a month. I am thinking the same thing about my father in law. My husband thinks he has a lot longer and that he might even get through it. I know he is probably not understanding it all. My husband met my mom 2 days before she died. He wasn't with me with all that she went through and now with his dad.

Another problem with this is that we have not seen him in 5 years. They lived in Michigan and moved to Las Vegas. We live in Nashville, TN we go to Michigan to see his mom and step dad. But it is hard to get to Vegas. It is now 1800 miles one way for us to drive. And flights have gone up. We actually are financially strapped to buy flights too.

I know everyone is different even with the same type of cancer. But I really needed some advice of really how long does any one think he has. I know, we should get out there to see him asap. But my step mother in law is not really letting us know what is going on. She posted on facebook what was going on and my husband sister yelled at her on fb for doing that! Because she didn't know how bad he has been getting either!

I want thank everyone who read this for letting me vent and talk about this. I know it helps me trying to figure this out. Cancer is the worse thing! I do know many of people that have survived it. But there has been to many people that I know that have not.
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brunosbud responded:
Dealing with cancer is no different than any other life (or death) experience.

Going to the supermarket
Attending a kid's birthday party
Getting your tax return audited


People die at the supermarket, at birthday parties & at the IRS. Difference is, you don't expect it. It would come as a "surprise". Even though we know death could come to us at any time, we never want to see it coming.

Of course, another difference about the cancer experience is the emotional instability that engulfs everyone involved that makes it all the more frightening and uncertain. In reality, many people respond to cancer just like your sister-in-law. My suggestion is, just carry a rolled up newspaper in your purse at all times. lol


I hope your father in law is at peace and tranquil. If he isn't, that's too bad since his prognosis is not great.

I hope you and your husband are at peace with yourselves and each other, too. When you are upset and feeling dread, its easy to lose focus and concentration. On the flip side, when you're calm and at peace, you make better decisions and become confident. The calm state of mind opens the doors to more positive and successful outcomes...Yes, even with cancer, there are opportunities for inspiring and unforgettable experiences. Moments of great love and caring that can never be experienced if not for occasions such as these.

Don't expect the worse. Expect the best and except less, if required.



PS: I've buried two family members this last year. One, was my father. I bought eggs and tomatoes at the supermarket, this morning. I survived, both, just fine. Good luck and please drive safely.
 
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junebugjelly responded:
I was diagnosed with Stage IV rectal cancer in November 2004. That means that the tumor in my rectum progressed and was growing in other organs. Usually the liver and lungs. At that time I had 3 or 4 lesions on one lobe of my liver. Because it was only on one lobe of my liver that was a good thing. They said they could remove the lobe if they had to. They treated me first with radiation and chemo and then sent me to surgery where the tumor was removed and the lesions on my liver were ablated. After I healed I had another round of chemo. A year later, there was a spot the center lobe of my right lung. They sent me to surgery and removed that lobe and sent me for another round of chemo. That was in 2009. I have now been cancer free and working full time again alive and well. Everybody's cancer is different but you should not immediately decide that his cancer is a death sentence. I am proof that you can survive Stage IV cancer. God bless.
 
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cmw1068 replied to junebugjelly's response:
Junebugjelly---You were very lucky that it all got cleared up. But my father in law is not. Last weekend my husband flew to Las Vegas to see his dad. He was taken to the hospital the day before and we were both worried that he would not make it out there before something happened. My husband said his goodbyes to his dad. He was in the hospital for 5 days. He also has an ulcer in his stomach that keeps on bleeding. He had 4 transfusions this last time. My father in law now has been moved to a hospice care center. There is nothing anymore that can be done. We are just now waiting for the call. He can not walk anymore and has lost a great deal of weight and really won't eat that much. My husband says he will be shocked if he last until the end of July. That is only a few days away. When something does happen we will go back out to Vegas.
 
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cmw1068 replied to cmw1068's response:
My husband was not to far off on his Dad. He did though make it through July. He passed away August 1 at 2:30pm. My husband is ok. He has broke down a little. The bad thing is it was my brother in laws birthday. That is not good that his Dad died on his birthday. I know we will all get through this. Like my son has said Grandpa isn't in anymore pain and is all healed.


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