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    Living with an ostomy sucks!
    bsmith0040 posted:
    I was diagnost with rectal cancer in April and had surgery removing my rectum and installing an ostomy. Recovery went pretty well, ofcourse i went back to work way to soon and had to take more time off. Living with an ostomy really sucks, but I am alive!
    cjtigers responded:
    I agree, it does suck. I have had my colostomy for a little over 2 years now. It has gotten easier to handle and I have tried to make peace with it, but every once in a while when things don't go as planned, it is still upsetting to deal with. Hang in there!!
    46Hope replied to cjtigers's response:
    I agreed it sucks!! you had it 2 years ago, after two surgeries I got mine April 19 2012 !! I had a temporary ileostomy before but did not work so now I have permanent colostomy but without this probably I would be pretty bad. Well I am alive thank God. Some days I cry and feel like a freak!! I calm my self and what keeps me going is my four kids and my husband, family is important, and yes some times like u said things do not go as planned but hey!! we are still here!1
    rigth? You bet we have to hang in there. Thanks for your words.
    cjtigers replied to 46Hope's response:
    We ostomates have to stick together. I'm grateful that it saved my life, but at the same time I hate to look at it. (well, the six inch scar down the middle of my stomach doesn't help either)! I'm still having problems with intimacy with my husband. It embarasses me and makes me feel self conscious. Anyone else there agree?? Found a solution??
    46Hope replied to cjtigers's response:
    Well ,I am also having problems with intimacy, the cancer touched sensitive areas. Is important husbands continue to tell us they love us, situations like this put marriage on test, this is the time to show true love, compasion,support and enjoy what we have, everything else will come back it just take time. I am still looking for solutions.
    cjtigers replied to 46Hope's response:
    My husband of 26 years has been so patient with me re: the change in my view in intimacy. I miss it in my heart and in my mind, but my body just doesn't want to follow suit. I've done research online, seen my gynecologist, bought special "intimate wear" for us females with ostomies. It just seems like so much effort. I just want to get back some part of that in my marriage.
    Harleygirl replied to cjtigers's response:
    I am on the otherside with my husband feeling like you do. Please let me tell you from the spouse side it does take getting use to but being pushed away and being told by my husband that he is too gross for me to want intimacy with him hurt. I feel he did not give me a chance to deal with it and now that part our our lives is over because of his weakness from chemo. Please reconsider your thinking and let your spouse come to grips with the changes with you.

    Suggestion, look up

    They made a special belt for him with a double ostomy and he could go swimming, motorcycle riding and more and the best part he loves about it is no more leaking problems for it also holds his wafers in place. He wears his belt 24/7, we laugh because I have to make him take it off to wash it. Find the laughter. They are on Facebook as well. They have several choices for intimacy as well.

    Helpful Tips

    it worked for me!
    My husband died 2/3/4 of colon cancer. August 2011 I became vegan on a dare and 2/3 12 I was diagnosed with colon cancer. I was surprised! ... More
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