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my 51 yr old sister was just diagnosed with colon cancer.
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gigiboomboom posted:
just today i got the 2nd saddest news in my life my youngest sister was just diagnosed with colon cancer... they dont know what stage yet she is going to have 35 days of radiation then chemo then surgery.. all i know is the tumor is 3 to 4 cm big i am so worried scared and devastated.. she is my best friend i dont know what i will do if i ever lose her.. we lost our dad two years ago to cancer ... i just am so so sad.. thank you for letting me vent and post..
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godnstarz4me responded:
My mother had end stage colon cancer and died in August 2005, I was diagnosed with stage 4 in Sept. of 2005. We both had colon cancer. Had colon surgery to remove cancer. No chemo. 2 years cancer free. In 2009, cancer spread to lower right lung. Had surgery again, started chemo. My older sister is going to hospital a lot, she tells no one she is dealing with symptoms of cancer. She starts chemo. Has no strange side effects, no hair loss. I began my chemo in August of 2009. I have usual side effects, hair loss. My sister does not talk about her cancer to me. Wanted me to not talk about my own cancer to her. She finishes her rounds of chemo. I finish 12 rounds of chemo. My sister stops her chemo without others in family knowing. I find out through my nephew. He is in Navy, he comes home and tells us his mother had been getting letters of missed chemo appt. Doctors tell us her cancer too far advanced and only weeks before dying. We put her in hospice. She dies and my wonderful, strong nephew and his sisters plan my sisters funeral. They are only in their early 20's. I miss both my mother and sister. Have family gene for this type of cancer. I survived colon and lung cancer. Am 5 years cancer free. It's hard, hang in there, love your sister 24/7, she'll know it. I visited my sister in hospital and social worker asked if ok for her to talk to my sister about her "dying", her plans. Sister told social worker to leave. I sat by her bed, my sister drifted off to sleep. Before she closed her eyes she looked at me a long time as if remembering what I looked liked. We were never huggers or touchy feely types, she and I. Last time I saw my sister was in July of 2010, and she hugged me, saying bye Janice.
I channel my sister's creativity. We were kindred. Go ahead and vent, my friend. Welcome to the club, we'll support you.
Love Janice
 
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brunosbud replied to godnstarz4me's response:
Just help and support her as best you can, no matter what, and look the other way when she makes decisions that you feel are questionable or not in her best interests. This will happen because she is very sick and traumatized. She's crippled with worry and fear. My youngest sister (51) exhausted much of her life savings chasing sketchy, dubious therapies. By doing so, she (single mom) left little for her college-aged children. I held my tongue and, in retrospect, I'm so grateful I did. She was such a good mom, her kids are thriving and completing their educations just as she hoped!

No need to fret about outcomes. They'll happen whether you worry or not. So, be supportive and accepting and never argue or fight with her. She's so severely compromised, it's just not fair to go there.


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