Ugly as it is..... at nearly 11 wks an U/S indicated that my baby was measuring at 8 weeks and no heartbeat.... I'm scheduled for a second confirmation U/S tomorrow.... I just need to know what is an average time to miscarry after the fetus stops developing? I want to avoid a D&C but can't bear the thought of carrying my "gone" child. I found out Friday but shock settled in and now I can't stop apologizing to my baby... I know that the baby is barely bigger than a shrimp but it's still my baby! My first baby...as this is my first pregnancy. My fiancee is the most supportive man ever and I know he is hurting. It is especially hard because we are right in the middle of moving. We chose a place that had enough room for my beautiful step daughter and the baby. It is now painful for both us knowing that our little one is likely not coming (the dr. gave a 1-2% chance of seeing a heartbeat) I feel like in my heart I know....Please anyone, someone please give me information... I've tried to research how long but really can't find a definitive answer.. I'll ask the dr. tomorrow but I need info before that.... Thanks to all...
I don't know the answer for your body. Everyone's body is different. My m/c cleared on its own without a D&C. I wasn't quite as far along as you... 8w2d. I could tell something was wrong and within 2-3 days my body had responded accordingly. I would definitely talk to the DR about this at your 2nd US. Don't give up TTCing. It will come.
I'm sorry for your loss Jessiekz, I don't have all the answers, but I can just tell you what my experience is. I actually found out at my 2nd OB appt on Wed. that I had a missed-miscarriage. We couldn't find my baby at all... my doctor said it looked like it had been a week or maybe two since I had miscarried. Since I hadn't started bleeding or anything, also since I have a severe case of endometriosis, we opted for the D&C. I had a confirming U/S on Thurs, then went in and had the surgery on Fri. Everyone is different, but I found that this was the best course for me. My doctor suggested that because of the type of miscarriage I had, and that I hadn't had that bleeding, that it may have gone on for up to another month or so of just carrying the placenta/embriotic sac. I hope everything works out for you, let us know
Thank you....my U/S yesterday confirmed that there was deterioration within the sac and the baby was less visible and no HB I couldn't bear the thought of carrying naturally for another few weeks or so.... Unfortunately I had to make my alternative choices based on the fact I have no insurance... The D&C was too expensive so I opted to take the internal medication to assist the miscarriage... I had no bleeding as yet but the medication worked very quickly for me. The cramping is bad but the Dr. has done everything to make me comfortable and prescribed some pain medication... It IS a loss but I count myself lucky in the fact that my wonderful, most wonderful, fiance is a sensitive understanding man and has been at my side as often as he can... Then he asked if it would hurt me to plant a special tree/flowering bush behind our new home in memory of our lost baby... I cried when he asked because OF COURSE I want to remember this baby though he/she was so tiny... I feel blessed in the fact that he is supporting me and my emotions... there really can be beauty in the most horrible circumstances.
Thanks for your Reply!
When I had my miscarriage a couple years ago the baby had stopped growing at 6-7 weeks and I didn't fully miscarry until about 12 weeks, I didn't find out I was going to miscarry until about 11 weeks. I started spotting at 10 weeks, before my first Dr. appointment when I went to the Dr. at 11 weeks I told him about the spotting but he wasn't concerned even though he didn't hear a heart beat. He told me to come back in 2 weeks and he would check again. By that time I had lost the baby.
I had a very different experience. Last week I went in for my first OB appointment, and when they did the U/S there was no heartbeat. The fetus measured at 8 weeks and I was "10 weeks" along. The Dr. scheduled me for a D&E the next day. I have had guilty feelings ever since coming out of surgery, worried that we jumped into the surgery too quickly, and now reading people getting second opinions and waiting and options of taking medicines I know that I did. I felt pushed into the surgery by my Dr. with no options or even talk over the procedure and possible problems. Fortunately we do have insurance, but still I am not sure where we are going to find the money to cover what insurance does not. Now I am dealing with the loss of my child, the guilt of not asking the right questions, and the stress of paying off medical bills.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I do think that you have normal feelings. I know after we opted for the D&C I felt like it was the wrong decision and was consumed with guilt. I still do have those feelings sometimes. And I still think that maybe if we would have waited longer we would have seen something else. Or they would have gone naturally (which would still be hard, but for me would have been preferred). And even now after two insurances we are still paying some in medical bills (I found out that very few insurances will pay for it, even when there is a medical reason).
I'm not sure if you are religious, but I know what helped me was reading the book of Job. It let me know that it wasn't a punishment from God but rather a reassurance that I am trusted as a servant to be able to take a hit like that and still keep my faith. And it also let me know that I will be blessed with pregnancy again and with children.
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