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BrookeB1234 posted:
Hi, My name Is Brooke And i am 24 years old,I recently suffred a miscarriage on my birthday, on July 27th 2011, It has been really hard for me to deal with, I know people tell me that It will be ok and It will happen again and I believe them but i just want to say yea but you have no Idea how It feels right now. My sister which Is 27 has been trying to get pregnant for about a year now and about a week and a half before I found out that I miscarried she found out that she was pregnant, We were so exicted that we were going to be pregnant to gether, And now It is so hard for me to be around her, We are really close and I dont even know If I am going to be able to go to the hospital when she has the baby. I rarley talk about the miscarriage expect to my little sister. I have lead everybody to prety much think that I am ok, And I am sometimes i just want to talk about It because I think that It might and does help a little bit. I live with my Finacee and we hardly ever speak of It, When I miscarried about 2 weeks after we even split up, I think we were just both going through alot, We have gotten back together and things seem to be going great right now. I know that he can tell that i am still hurting because If a baby commerical comes on or It shows somebody pregnant or giving birth on T.V. he always tries to change the subject or something. We have not really discussed trying again even though we do eventually want a baby and to be honest I would like to go ahead and try we havent brought It up but a couple times, I think that we are both just scared of what might happen again. Thank you for letting me post my story and I would really appreciate any suggestions on what might could help. Thanks Again, Brooke
mochabanana responded:
Dear Brooke,

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I'm Anna (25). My husband and I lost twins in April at 12 weeks because of uncommon complications.

I think that what your going through is normal. I wanted everyone to think that everything was ok, even though I was still devastated. I figured no one understood what it felt like, and I didn't need fake sympathy. And it didn't help that I couldn't turn around without running in a pregnant person. From my next door neighbor, to the receptionist in my office, to the gal at church who conceived after trying just a month, to my sister-in-law who happens to be one of the most fertile people I know (only second to my other sister-in-law who just has to think of a baby to get pregnant), and then every other women in the world whose walking around showing off the belly.

I was bitter to say the least. I felt so alone. My husband was trying to be strong for the both of us, so he was holding it all it, which lead to arguments over everything else. And for the first 3 months or so it wasn't allowed to be mentioned around me, or in the house.

One day I just had a breakdown and it all came out. I couldn't hold it in anymore. And since then I've realized that while it's still hard, and I still water up a bit talking about it, that it's better to talk about it then hold it in. And honestly a lot of the pain has started to be replaced by hope for our next pregnancy.

I think getting on this site and telling your story will help. I will say that I avoided sites like this for 6 months because I was scared that I would just "meet" people who were so down on themselves and sad, and I didn't want that. But I have been on here about a month, and I can say that all of the women that I've interacted with have been so amazing and positive, and encouraging. Their stories may be different, but we still have something in common, and they still know what it feels like.

I would say keep talking about it. I know that it's kind of weird to put so many personal feelings on the internet like this, but I know for me I've felt like I can be so much more open here than with people I know. Just something different about talking with women who know exactly what your going though, who have had the feeling that you have.

Just know that people are always here to chat.

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