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Nervously waiting for missed miscarriage to pass
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J9812 posted:
My husband and I learned that our pregnancy stopped growing at 6 weeks. This week should have measured at 8 weeks, but doctor told us it looks like a miscarriage since there is no growth and no heartbeat. Needless to say, my husband and I were very saddened by the news. This was our first pregnancy and we were so excited to become parents. We were surprised to hear the news that the pregnancy stopped growing. I only had some minor spotting during bathroom visit over 2 weeks ago, but no pain so I did not think it was anything to be concerned about (this was before our first prenatal visit). Now we are waiting for the miscarriage to pass naturally since I chose not to schedule D&C. I am concerned about the physical pain and emotional when I finally do start bleeding. All I keep thinking about is "what do I do with the tissue when it comes, cause the thought of flushing it down the toilet makes me upset". But is this what I'm supposed to do? I assume yes, but am looking for some validation. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.
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nicram8683 responded:
I am so sorry for your loss. I will share with you my experience and hope it helps you. I also had my natural miscarriage at 6 weeks. I had the same thoughts about what was going to come out of me. But as my Dr. explained, it is so early on, there is no recognizable tissue. It will be just like any other period. If your are normally lighter, it may be heavier then before, or you might see some small-medium size clots. Mine began about 5 days after the Dr. presumed growth discontinued, but he did tell me it could be up to 2 weeks before the bleeding began. It was not painful in the physical part, I was just cramping like a normal cycle. But emotionally, it was hard. But I did not feel like I could move on until it began. I wish you the best and know that you will make it through this.
 
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J9812 replied to nicram8683's response:
Thanks for the feedback. It is greatly appreciated. My doctor told me that it may take up to 6 weeks (from date that growth stopped). It's already been two weeks since pregnancy stopped growing so I'm just waiting. I have follow up appointment scheduled for next week and may discuss D&C if it has not passed by then. Thanks again for the kind words. It makes me feel better to know that others have gone through this.
 
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nicram8683 replied to J9812's response:
The waiting is always the hardest part. I know it was for me. Hopefully the process will begin naturally and you will not need a D&C. We had been trying to get pregnant for about 16 months when we had our m/c. And because a D&C was not needed, and the m/c was so early on, we were able to resume trying right away. I hope the same for you. While nothing will replace the baby I lost, it does not take away the dreams of being a parent again. Wishing you the best.
 
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sjheger replied to nicram8683's response:
I am also going through a very similar situation - I was approx. 4 weeks when I started bleeding. At first, it was just some light spotting, but as the day when on, the bleeding became much heavier. I am still bleeding, but hope it will end soon. You mentioned you started trying again shortly after — how did you know when you were fertile? Are you using any type of fertility monitor? My Dr. estimates I will get AF in approx. 6-8 weeks, which at what point we will start trying again. This is a difficult time and hard to process all of the new emotions, but we are trying to stay positive.
 
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nicram8683 replied to sjheger's response:
Since we had been ttc for almost 2 years, I was using ovulation predictor tests every cycle. I started using them the day after the last day of bleeding because of the m/c I didnt know exactly when I would ovulate. **Trigs** We became pregnant right after the m/c, I am currently 10wks. The only reason we tried right away is because our doctor advised us since we had been trying for so long and the m/c happened so early and I didnt need a d& c that we should not wait.
 
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loveaya28 replied to nicram8683's response:
sorry for your lost. i just went throw what u did my baby stop growing at 6 weeks and i was really 9 weeks after they told me that the heart beat was low 5 days later i lost the baby. just make sure u have family around you whatever u like . good luck you to
 
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J9812 replied to loveaya28's response:
Thank you for the support. It got more difficult for me to wait for the miscarriage to pass naturally. Weeks later I still had no bleeding so we went ahead and scheduled a D&C. The D&C happened yesterday. I was nervous going in but am glad to have done it since I won't have to go through a natural miscarriage at home or work. I was sad waking up from the anesthesia but feel much better now. I'm recovering well and am hopeful that my 2 week follow up goes well.

I'm so sorry for your loss as well, and wish you well as you recover from this experience.
 
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An_241801 responded:
My husband and I had a similar experience yesterday. We went in for our first prenatal ultrasound and doctor's appointment. The baby measured at 9 weeks on the ultrasound, but there was no heartbeat. The doctor gave us three options. We could do the surgical D&C, wait and have a natural miscarriage, or take a medicine that would allow me to have a controlled miscarriage over the weekend rather than waiting for it to happen naturally. He suggested I take the misoprostol vaginally becuase my cervix was still thick and not dilating. It was hard emotionally to insert the first set of pills, but I am glad to know that I won't have to worry about when it will happen spontaneously. So far the cramps have been pretty annoying and knowing what's happening is emotionally draining, but I am hoping things will start to feel better before work on Monday.

I am sorry to hear of your loss.
 
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AJBARNETT replied to An_241801's response:
Sorry to hear of your loss. My husband and I also experienced this 5 weeks ago. We were also given those options, but we opted for the D&C, because I didn't think I could emotionally handle waiting to pass it on my own. I hope you start feeling better soon!
 
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mrsb10 responded:
First off, I am SO sorry for you loss, I know how you feel and it is a horrible feeling. I am going through this same exact thing at this very moment. You will probably not see a lot of tissue, but you will see a lot of blood clots. I started the medicine Friday and finished it up on Saturday and I'm still bleeding and cramping. This medication made me have severe cramping and a lot of bleeding. I did not want to flush the tissue, either, but when I tried to figure out what was tissure and blood clots, it was impossible and I was so sad, because I didn't feel right about flushing. I had the same circumstances with my baby, there was no heart beat and the baby had stopped growing. This was also our first pregnancy and I feel like I am slowing going to grieve my self to death. I will pray for your comfort in this difficult time, as I can relate in every way.
 
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Anon_182337 responded:
hello, I went through a miscarriage around the same amount of weeks that you did. I went to my doctor and scheduled a DandC.(it ended up being and DandE). My doctor recommended either taking a pill to "flush out" everything which may not have worked or a DandC. I really recommend doing one or the other. I went through the worst pain of my life when the "expelling" of everything took place. It may be different for you. My doctor also recommended the DandC to make sure that everything is cleared out. If it is not, I would have a hard time getting pregnant again. She did not want me to have any remnants of the pregnancy left. I hope you have talked to your doctor again. Good luck if you try again.
 
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J9812 replied to An_241801's response:
I'm sorry for my late response. It's been months since I've visited this website, I think partly due to my having difficulty coping with my loss. Thank you so much for your kind words and I truly hope you are recovering well. It has been difficult for me emotionally but I remain hopeful that I will feel better as time goes on.
 
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J9812 replied to mrsb10's response:
Thank you for the supportive comments. I am sorry for taking so long to respond. I left this website for a while as I tried to avoid dealing with the pain of the loss but am slowly realizing that I need to allow myself to mourn the loss of my baby. This has been the most difficult thing I have ever dealt with and I find myself having some good days and some bad. I cry almost every day but remain hopeful that time will help in my healing. I hope that are you doing well and thank you again for your support.
 
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J9812 replied to Anon_182337's response:
Sorry for my delayed response...

I did follow up with my doctor and had a D&C on December 1. It has been tough emotionally but I'm hopeful that it will get better in time. Thank you for your support and I hope that you are also recovering well.


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