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SarahHennyPink posted:
I feel like such a horrible sister...I have been married for 3 years and have been trying to concieve for a while. I had to have multiple colposcopys and a leep and then had to wait another year for paps to be be normal. So it has taken forever for us. I went to the hospital with horrible pain and found out that i was pregnant but it was ectopic. My younger sister is a little over 3 months pregnant but was afraid to tell me because she knows that we have been trying forever. I am really jealous. She wants me to be the godmother and it kills me. Of course i am happy for her but it is hard to show it. Any suggestions on how to stop these feelings? Thanks!
An_240941 responded:
There is nothing wrong with your feelings. It's normal to feel that way. After I lost my baby I pretty much hated anyone I saw pregnant including my own family. It's ok. I would just say that you should try & discuss these feeling with your husband or someone else who can be objective enough & is close enough for you to be able to get them out & try to be supportive of your sister. I know it's hard but just because you feel this way now doesn't mean you will later & if you do something rash like not at least consider being her baby's godmother you may regret it later. But at the same time if you really don't want to except you can be honest about it & not have to feel guilty as long as you say it to her in a respectable way. I'm sure she would understand. For all she knows you may be ?ing god right now & not feel right about making that kind of commitment while you're so conflicted. (doesn't mean that's true, but she doesn't know that either.) It may help you to try & be supportive towards her in other ways though, after all it's not her fault that you're going through all this while she gets a healthy pregnancy ( & I'm sure that thought rolls through her mind). I think it would probably upset her to not have the support of her big upset me when the only thing my older sister cared about during my 1st pregnancy was that I was having a girl & she had 2 boys & wanted a girl (but my big sister is a very bitter person & I no longer have a relationship with her at all...she never even seen my youngest...& my big sister had 7 miscarriages in between her 2 boys who are 6yrs would think she would be more grateful for the ones she has, totally different situation.) Anyway...I hope that helps some & I'm sorry for your loss.
britt200408 responded:
I completely understand your feelings. My little sister is due 2 days before I was due and just found out today she is having a girl. I am so excited for her, but still jealous and sad. It breaks my heart to see her reach all of these milestones that I should be reaching, too. I was honest with her about my feelings, and it did make me feel a lot better. She understood and I learned that she felt guilty, even though neither of us had any control over what happened. If it were up to us, we would both definitely be having babies together! We were so excited!

So anyway, I guess my advice is to just ride it out. It has only been 2 1/2 months since my m/c and I can say that most days, I'm genuinely excited and happy for my sister. There are still rough days, and I'm sure it will be that way for a long time. But it does get easier to deal with.

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