Skip to content
Second worst day of my life
avatar
melissam2256 posted:
Today my husband and I went into the doctor to hear our little baby's heartbeat. We were unable to hear it and my doctor said not to be alarmed sometimes the baby moves to much or is in a bad position. He sent me in for an emergency ultra sound and there on the monitor was our 11 week old baby with no heartbeat.
This is our second miscarriage last one was in September. The doctor said he doesn't know what went wrong the baby seemed so healthy my hormones were great . I was on Endometrin for extra progesterin so my body still thinks im pregnant. He told me I have to have a D&C and I'm so scared. Does anyone know if it hurts?
I don't think I've ever hurt so much in my life and whats worse the ultrasound tech had the image on the screen. She wasnt just an egg she was a little person. I saw her little fingers and toes. The fact that she is still there inside me is killing me. I feel like I did something wrong like I should have known something was wrong or maybe there was something I could have done to save her
Reply
 
avatar
An_240941 responded:
I'm so sorry....they wouldn't let me see my baby on the screen when I lost it 9yrs ago.....I wanted to so bad, I just didn't believe it was real....I send you my love and my thoughts will be with you.
 
avatar
scarolinarn responded:
Very sorry you are having to go through this. I had @ D&C with my 2nd pregnancy- like you we went in and there was no heartbeat. I did not think the D&C was painful; it was a very quick 30 min procedure (they put me to sleep for it) and then you are able to go home. You will probably have some mild bleeding and cramping after, but it shouldn't be severe. You can not blame yourself for this- you didn't do anything that caused this. My thoughts are with you.
 
avatar
melissam2256 replied to An_240941's response:
I think seeing her made it so much harder. When I lost the first baby I thought I could never feel worse than this. I was about 5 weeks. But seeing that little one seeing her fingers I had an earlier ultrasound and saw her heartbeat, now it tears me up inside. I know that it is so hard and I mean this in the nicest way but I am glad they didn't show you. That image will haunt me forever. I like to think our little angels know just how much we love them. How much we will miss them. Its that thought I want to hold on to.
 
avatar
melissam2256 replied to scarolinarn's response:
Thank you so much for your words. I feel like you guys are the only ones I can talk to you all understand. I went in fot the D&C today everything went so well but when I came home the medication wore off and I was in a tremendious amount of pain. My doctor gave me some stronger meds and now I am doing much better. Only a little bleeding. As far as state of mind I kind of feel alittle better knowing she isnt inside of me I feel like I can truley start to heal.
My doctor is sending in some samples so we can figure out whats going on. I just want to know why.
 
avatar
An_240941 replied to melissam2256's response:
I will hold my baby in my heart for the rest of my life. I hope it knows how much I love it. You're right, it probably is better I didn't see it...it was the 1st u/s, so I think it was the fact that I never got to see my baby that bothers me the most. I was 8 wks exactly. My heart goes out to you...
 
avatar
melissam2256 replied to An_240941's response:
I know your baby knows how much you love them! Here is a poem that helps me. I hope that it will help you too. (I dont know your beliefs of god and it isnt my intention at all to offend
An Angel Never DiesDon't let them say I wasn't born,
That something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I've loved you from the start.
Although my body you can't hold
It doesn't mean I'm gone
This world was worthy, not of me
God chose that I move on.
I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face
You have my word, I'll fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.
You'll hear that it was meant to be,
God doesn't make mistakes
But that wont soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.
I'm watching over all you do,
Another child you'll bear
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.
There will come a time, I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips
And then you'll understand.
Although I've never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes
That doesn't mean I never was,
An Angel never dies.
Author Unknown
 
avatar
An_240941 replied to melissam2256's response:
Thank you. That was beautiful.
 
avatar
jenkoelenko replied to melissam2256's response:
so simple and so beautiful... thank you so much for sharing this
 
avatar
vayne replied to jenkoelenko's response:
I've never had to feel the pain of losing a child but My heart goes out to you ladies to the fullest, I thank the man up above everyday for giving me two heathy Boys. And That Poem Brought Tears To My eyes my bestfriend is currently going through this and i sent her that poem and she said that made everything feel so much better
 
avatar
preciouslittleone responded:
I know just how you feel. I miscarried at 8 weeks but my baby was only the size of a 5 weeks old, I feel like if I would have found out sooner I could have made better choices or done something to save my baby.
Can't wait for my life to begin.


Spotlight: Member Stories

In January 2010 I gave birth to what I assumed would be my last baby. I went on the pill after her birth. She was having some minor complications so m...More

Helpful Tips

How to more easily read discussions
Exchanges provide a more dynamic way to keep up with ongoing discussions. But If you're finding how discussions and responses are ... More
Was this Helpful?
10 of 20 found this helpful

Helpful Resources

Be the first to post a Resource!

Related News

There was an error with this newsfeed

Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.