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Confused
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An_244002 posted:
I recently suffered a miscarriage at 4 weeks pregnant. Deep down, I know that this is for the best due to the fact that I have recently returned to college and my boyfriend already has kids from a previous relationship. However, I am still somewhat upset about it. Is this natural? Is it okay for me to mourn somehow?
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Carameltone responded:
Hey Confused, it is ok to mourn because I to went thru the same thing I miscarried at 6 weeks it was only 2 weeks ago but I do think about it so yes I think that it's healthy to mourn> I feel it's just way to not keep it in and have it drive you crazy. good luck to you.....remember it gets better...
 
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jenkoelenko responded:
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is 100% natural and okay to mourn. It is healthy for you to express feelings that you have, this is not only something that effects your body, but your mind as well. Do what you need to recover. It is really hard for the first little while, and it doesn't ever really go away... but the pain WILL subside. You will be happy again! It does get easier to deal with if you talk about it. That's what people tried telling me right after it happened (I didn't believe them....), and I eventually did start talking about it with a couple friends a few weeks later. It helped dull the pain. Go at whatever pace is good for you: don't push yourself too hard. Good luck to you.
 
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Anon_177748 responded:
It is absolutely ok to mourn for the loss of a little life. I lost my daughter at 20 weeks and we had a funeral for her. I read quite a few coping with pregnancy loss books, they are helpful in learning to cope and what other couples/women do for closure. Having a memorial service with family and/or friends, planting a tree in the baby's honor or journaling are all ideas that helped me cope with the loss of my daughter. A woman becomes a mother the moment she finds out she's pregnant no matter how far along she is. You have every right to mourn as much or as little as you want. I wish you the best of luck and you're not alone.
 
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RoseLynn02 responded:
I lost mine at 8wks, but that was 9yrs ago . It is better for you to mourn if it is the emotion that you are experiencing. If you are sad & need to grieve than do so. Hiding or holding back your emotions only prolongs them. I'm sorry for your loss. It's never easy. I actually was going to recommend the same things that anon177748 did when I saw your post until I read everyone's responses. Having a journal would probably help you get your thoughts out & heal from your grief. My mom actually lost her 1st born when he was 3months old & he is buried in another state (she moved 2yrs ago), so I got her a stone on his birthday in his memory. It reads " If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane. I would walk right up to heaven, and bring you home again" from the poem. Anyway, it helped her a lot & gave her place to sit in her garden & feel near to him again. She always left toys on his burial site at holidays, birthdays, & the day he died...with this stone I gave her place to do that again. Just a thought, but something like that...even if in a small necklace charm, may give you something to use to honor your baby & continue to hold it close to your heart & may help you grieve.

http://www.scrapbook.com/poems/doc/13433/257.html

Here is a website where the poem is if you would like to read its entirety.
 
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jossanasmomma responded:
You are normal and what you are going through is natural. Give yourself some time to grieve, and figure out some way to mourn. Plant a tree, write a poem. Whatever works for you. It's OK to be sad.


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