Coping with Pregnancy Loss Community

I'm so sorry. It sounds like your DH has a hard time dealing with emotions to begin with (rather typical in men sometimes). I would say maybe when DS is sleeping ask your DH to go sit outside with you. Tell him him you just want to spend some time with him in the fresh air. Since he is being protective he may just say yes to your every whim or argue the point, be insistent. Sometimes when people talk about serious things it inside it makes them feel more claustrophobic & boxed in & then they jump straight to the defense, that's why I say go outside. Sometimes it can be more calming to be out in some open space & plus he will think twice about raising his voice where neighbors can hear & wont be able to wake DS as easily if he gets anxious & loud. Start with pleasant calming conversation. Something to keep him relaxed but not something as impersonal as the weather, you know what I mean. Then if you hit a nice pleasant calm silent moment (perhaps in his arms), open up & tell him you know he doesn't like to talk about it but you really need to. Tell him you love him & he is the only person you want to discuss this with & you need his support & for him to open up & be there for you. Then once he (hopefully) agrees to have some conversation on the topic tell him how you feel. Don't be insulting or insinuative. I notice that if you say "I feel" in front of something someone else does that upsets you they take better than you just straight saying "you are out of line with our DS". Ask him to open up to you. Tell him you need to hear from him what's on his mind. Make sure it's need or need & want not just want. Men seem to respond better to the word need, they have an innate nature to "fix" women's needs. That should help. It works with most men I know. Some men are just too reserved to get to at all with somethings. But on the other hand some men open up no problem. Right now you have enough on your plate with the pain of your loss & the grieving stages being so current. He is grieving too, which is probably why he is so harsh with DS right now (a way to take out the pain w/o doing it to you). Remember people tend to take out their feelings on those closes to them & sometimes not know how to actually express their true emotions (ex: covering hurt with anger). You 2 need to be able to talk about this & I hope this helps you find a way to get him to open up with you. I wish you the best & again I'm so sorry.