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jaimec77 posted:
At a routine ultrasound yesterday (12 weeks, 3 days) there was no longer a heartbeat. Everything had been going smoothly.
I am 35, divorced for 10 years and used a donor to have a child on my own. I have a D&C scheduled for Thursday. I am devastated and have never felt agony like this...I don't know where to go from here.
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RoseLynn02 responded:
I know your post is 2 weeks old. I'm sorry no one has responded. I don't come on here much when I'm going to school. I'm 26 and I now have 2 daughters, but I lost my baby 9years ago when I was 17. I am so sorry for your loss. All I can tell you is to take it slow. Allow yourself to heal and to grieve and to get better one day at a time. I don't know if you have read any of the other posts, but there are ways you can still remember your baby. You can still do your own memorial or remembrance or honoring day. Sometimes it helps. I'd be happy to help you with some ideas if it is something you're interested in. I don't know if you plan on trying again, but sometimes women have better luck several tries later with donor insemination.

Anyhow you are still a mother to your baby and you will meet again one day. Here is one of my favorite poems, I hope you can find some comfort in it:

What Makes A Mother
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked, "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true
But, God, can you be a mother
When your baby's not with you?Yes, you can he replied
With confidence in his voice
I give many women babies
When they leave it is not their choice
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for the day
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God
I want my baby here
He took a breath
and cleared his throat
And then I saw a tear
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing Here
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear,
but My mommy loved me so much
I got to come straight here!"
I feel so lucky to have a Mom who
had so much love for me
I learned my lessons very quickly
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow is where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
"Mommy, Please don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I am here"
So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are okay
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lessons there are through
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates waiting for you
So now you see
What makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start
~Author Unknown

This one is another favorite that helps me cope to this day, I hope it might help you as well:

Precious Little One
I`m just a precious little one
who didn`t make it there.
I went straight to be with Jesus,
but I`m waiting for you here.
Many dwelling here where I live,
waited years to enter in.
Struggled through a world of sorrow,
a world marred with pain and sin.
Thank you for the life you gave me,
it was brief but don`t complain.
I have all Heaven`s Glory,
suffered none of earth`s great pain.
Thank you for the name you gave me.
I`d have loved to bring it fame.
But if I`d lingered in earth`s shadows,
I would have suffered just the same.
So sweet family-don`t you sorrow.
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom.
I went straight to Jesus` arms
from my loving Mother`s womb.
~Author Unknown


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