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Anon_29235 posted:
So..I have miscarried twice now. I found out two days ago that I miscarried for the second time in four months. I am not dealing with any of this well.. I don't quite know how. I have friends who are trying to help me cope and get through all of this but I don't think they have any clue how I feel right now.

Of course my best friend is a man who has been doing everything in his power to help me. Unfortunately plying me with food won't fill this hollowness. At this point I can barely eat anyways.

I guess I'm using this as a way to get everything I can't tell them off my chest.

I feel smothered. I feel hollow and guilty and like I have to put on a brave face for everyone. I can' cry unless I am completely alone (which is very very rare), I can't sleep, I can barely eat, I feel like I want to be surrounded and cuddled but at the same time I want to be left alone. I'm confused and sore and scared.. And most of all I just want someone who has a clue as to how I feel to help me through this.
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Guennie responded:
I am so sorry for what you are going through and I can tell you that you are not alone. I have also lost two pregnancies in the past year, the last one I waited for 3 months to have a miscarriage knowing the pregnancy wasn't viable...finally I decided to try medicine which would induce the miscarriage but it didn't work so I ended up having a D&C. I had to have a D&C the first time as well.

I am an extremely sensitive person and there are days it's all I can do to keep from crying. When it overwhelms me I just let myself cry. It is perfectly normal to feel confused and scared and a million other emotions, both because your hormones are trying to balance back out and also because it is such an emotional experience going through something like this. I think the biggest advice I can give you right now is you need to give yourself permission to be human. You are not supposed to bounce right back. There aren't any shortcuts through the grieving process. Believe me, I wish there were.

I don't know if this helps you any, but I just found out about something called the Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Through my husband's health insurance, I am able to use the EAP to receive 3 free sessions with an in-network counselor. I never would have even known about this program if a friend hadn't mentioned it to me. I decided it might really help to talk to someone so I actually scheduled an appointment for tomorrow. I obviously don't know anything about your situation but if you're in the position to take advantage of this benefit it may help.

Regardless, I am here if you need to chat. I am pretty much on the rollercoaster right now too, I have good days and bad days. I don't have any magic answers for you but I understand what you are feeling and my heart goes out to you.


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I am 43 years old and just had my second miscarriage (on January 7th 2011 pregnant with twins 10 weeks) in seven years my husband was no where to be f...More

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