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Coping with Pregnancy Loss Community

Only someone who has been there can know exactly what you are feeling after the ... more

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2 miscarriages in less than a year

jessiekz posted:

A few weeks ago I had a d&c to end my second failed pregnancy and now my partner is saying he doesn't think he wants any more children as he has a five year old daughter from previous relationship. He is ten years older than my 34. I feel devasted on the two accounts of losing two babies and never getting to have one st all. The other day because currently his mother is quite ill fighting cancer he said he didn't have the luxury of grief that I did. I know he's having a hard terrible time but all I can hear besides my hurt is that phrase, luxury of grief

1 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:2 miscarriages in less than a yearA few weeks ago I had a d&c to end my second failed pregnancy and now my partner is saying he doesn't think he wants any more children as he has a five year old daughter from previous relationship. He is ten years older than my 34. I feel devasted on the two accounts of losing two babies and never getting to have one st all. The other day because currently his mother is quite ill fighting cancer he said he didn't have the luxury of grief that I did. I know he's having a hard terrible time but all I can hear besides my hurt is that phrase, luxury of grief

lindsaaayerin responded:

he's not being fair to you. having two miscarriages is extremely upsetting and him acting like that won't help you! honestly if my guy acted like that I would break up with him, but if you love him you need to take the upper hand and realize his mother's illness IS effecting him in a huge way and he's not really being rational right now. men also have grief over miscarriages, give yourself and him time to heal. he may change his mind. you should tell him to be more careful of your feelings though, he was being totally nasty by telling you that he doesn't have the "luxury of grief" that you do. that is a terrible thing to say.

Report This| Share this:2 miscarriages in less than a yearhe's not being fair to you. having two miscarriages is extremely upsetting and him acting like that won't help you! honestly if my guy acted like that I would break up with him, but if you love him you need to take the upper hand and realize his mother's illness IS effecting him in a huge way and he's not really being rational right now. men also have grief over miscarriages, give yourself and him time to heal. he may change his mind. you should tell him to be more careful of your feelings though, he was being totally nasty by telling you that he doesn't have the "luxury of grief" that you do. that is a terrible thing to say.

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