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I had a miscarriage and d&c 3 days ago.
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lindsaaayerin posted:
Hello. I wanted to vent my story.

My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant since May and we found out on August 12 that I was pregnant. We were very excited. But I spent the whole time being very nervous, I kept feeling as though this wasn't going to work out. My pregnancy was hell. the morning sickness was terrible, all food disgusted me, I couldn't sleep and when I did I had nightmares. I was moody. I was still so happy to be pregnant though.

A few weeks in I had terrible cramping so we went to the ER. They tested everything they could and told me they couldn't find anything wrong. My pregnancy wasn't far enough to be found on an ultrasound, so they sent me home. I had my blood tested every two days.

Then a few weeks ago I had another ultrasound. It was very happy, there was a sac and yolk in my uterus and they measured me as being at 5 weeks. I was so relieved, but my doctor called me and told me we weren't in the clear until there's a heart beat.

On Tuesday we went for another ultrasound, hoping to hear a heart beat. I was 7 weeks along. My cramps had stopped. I had a minor brown discharge that I was nervous about, but it was very slight.

So at the ultrasound, the woman kept taking pictures and doing her thing, then she said she would be right back. I had a really bad feeling, I knew the news wasn't good. she came back and handed me a phone. my doctor was on the line, she told me there was no progress and she recommend that I have a d&c. I was devastated.

I had the d&c on wednesday, that was three days ago. I am so lost. I feel so empty. my husband has been wonderful and supportive, which is good. they allowed me to take a week out of work. but I have to go back to work in 3 days and I do not want to.

I didn't have much bleeding after the d&c. only for a day and it stopped, now I only have that odd brown spotting again. I get cramps on and off.

I just feel so sad and alone. the timing was perfect, I was so thrilled about it because I knew exactly when I conceived. I've wanted a baby for many years, and I was so happy that my time finally came. but it's gone now. I can't get over how lost I feel.

I'm sorry about my horrible grammar, I stopped caring about writing correctly, I just wanted to vent and not care. if anybody has read this, I thank you. I would love to hear from anybody who has had similar experiences. I'm just so alone.
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hlvmom10 responded:
hugs to you and your husband, i had my second miscarriage in march, i almost died during mine..my due date for that precious baby is this week, im pretty broken. i know how you feel honey, it's a horrible, aching, empty , confusing time and they say time heals all wounds..ours are far from healed..not even scabbed over. just trust in your higher power...and slowly things will start to get a little normal again.... you can read my story..Hlvmom10, if you need anything at all or just need to talk , find me on facebook...britt campbell out of siloam springs, ar

hugs and happy thoughts sent your way..

britt.
 
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babyj1017 responded:
First off, I am very sorry for your loss. But you are not alone, all the women here and on various other boards dealing with loss know how you feel and are walking this journey with you. I am currently in the midst of my second loss in 4 months. It is painful and awful. The devastation and disappointment at the loss of our dreams and the future we shape the moment we find out we are expecting is difficult to get past. But, it does get easier as time goes on... that's what I am hanging on to right now. It seems impossible now, but you will learn to cope and begin to heal.

Look to your husband, family and friends for support and if you don't find it there, seek it out elsewhere. A message board like this one was my savior at first with my first loss. My family (husband included) and friends had a very hard time talking about my loss the first time and all but swept it under the rug, so I sought support online and it helped. This time around, I think they are better equipped to handle the situation. We just found out we lost the baby yesterday, but already I can tell my husband is there for me far more so than he was able to be in May.

Just breathe. Take each day moment by moment, heartbeat by heartbeat. Let yourself feel your emotions, don't try to be brave or strong right now. Try not to get caught up in the "why me" and "what did I do to deserved this". Truth is, you did nothing to deserve this and nothing you could have done could have changed the outcome. Trust that you will come to terms with your loss and begin to heal.

My heart goes out to you, and to all of us who suffer such a great loss. Hugs to you.


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