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Did I do something wrong?
MrsS77 posted:
Yesterday I went for what would have been a 12 week sonogram. (I also had one at 6.5 weeks just to confirm pregnancy) where I was able to see the heart beating and a bit of movement (floating really). Unfortunately, yesterdays sono showed that the heart was no longer beating and the baby was measuring about the same as when I went in the first time. I know that these things happen for a reason, but of course I can't help but thinking it was something that I did in the "very" early days of my pregnancy that caused it. Could that be true? I also think that maybe my having an iud for 4+ years could have been a factor. Before I found out that I was pregnant I was taking large doses of migraine medication and asprin. Then once I found out I was pregnant I still continued to have small amounts of caffeine because I couldn't handle the rebound headaches that I was getting when I tried to stop cold turkey. (I stopped the caffeine around what would have been 8 weeks). I am just worried that these things may have contributed to the miscarriage. I have so much guilt now and this being my 3rd pregnancy, I know that I shouldn't but its really hard.
abmurphy responded:
You will always be haunted with the feeling that you did something wrong. It has been 7 months since my m/c and everyday i rack my brain wondering what i did in the begining when i didn't know i was pregnant to cause such a thing. everyday! And all you can do is be at peace with the fact that things happen for a reason, and it isn't your fault. crack heads and drug addicts have healthy babies all the time, it is just something that is beyond our control. we can only cherish your current children and my next children more, because we know what it is like to lose a child. many hugs!
michelleloehr2 replied to abmurphy's response:
Was it something you did? Highly, highly unlikely. Most miscarriages are due to a problem with the baby.

Does this feeling ever go away? No but you do learn to move on with your life. My first miscarriage was 3 years ago. Sometimes I still wonder about it. Did I do something wrong? Why me? and on and on. The feelings came back with my second miscarriage 4 months ago. The important thing to do is remember you aren't to blame and these thoughts are not good for you. I know it can seem impossible but you have to find a way to find happiness and move on. It comes with time. You'll never forget your baby and you will always love them but you can't live your life in the past.

Not sure if this has been helpful but just remember you aren't alone out there.
AlyssaAlverson replied to michelleloehr2's response:
Thank you, this really helped me. I was about 5 1/2 weeks pregnant with my first child and I just miscarried a few days ago. I keep thinking it was something I did or if there was anything I could have done differently. Sometimes an outside perspective really helps.

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