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Still born
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carlias posted:
I have a friend that recently lost her baby at 37 weeks. She had to deliver and of course the baby was still born. I want to find her a board that she can go to to get support from others that have been in her situation. As most of you know that family is of course there to help but they dont understand. I looked at the coping with loss board but it doesn't seem very active. Is there women on here that have been in her situation or are most of you early MC? I can help her with the mc (I mc at 15 weeks) but not coping with delivery and then having the baby in my arms knowing that they baby is not going to cry.
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mommie12356 responded:
You need to stay out of it.Let your friend be the one to ask for help.i had a still born at 28 weeks.Just give her the time she needs to herself.
 
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carlias responded:
This happened 6 weeks ago and she has asked for advise and help from me. That is why I am on here trying to find her some people that would have more insite into her situation than I do. I was on these boards when I was pg with my son and I really liked these boards. I am just trying to see if they can help her too.
 
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LauraSNJ responded:
Lurking, trigs in sig!

Hi Carli,

First I want to say that I am so sorry for your friend's loss, and for yours, too. I have met many women on these boards who have experienced loss, some early on in pregnancy and some toward the end. This coping board is pretty slow, but there are many women here who have experienced stillbirths (I am not one of them, though). I am sure that if your friend came and posted her story, she would receive lots of support, both from women in similar situations and those who have experienced other losses.

It's very kind of you to help her seek out a place to go for support. You're a good friend.

trigs in sig
 
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jamiejo78 responded:
Tell her when she is ready and comfortable to join us. I lost my identical twin baby girls at 24 1/2 weeks. I had to vaginally deliver them and then I was able to be with them and hold them and see them and how perfect on the outside they really were. It was extremely surreal and bittersweet.

There are all types of losses on this board, but there are some who have had stillbirths on here and would love to talk and pray for your friend.
 
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FloralMom responded:
She's welcome to join us! I lost my son ^Jeremiah^ 3 days after he was born due to a birth defect. I've found this board to be very understanding and welcoming to all stages of pregnancy loss.
 
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crys1582 responded:
I am sorry for your loss and hers. You are a good friend to look for help for her. This board doesn't move fast but whenever there are posts or questions people answer. It's like most of us check once a day just to see if there are any new posts to respond to. Sometimes there are days when it goes faster than others. I have been on this board sine March of 08, I lost my DD at 23 wks due to PROM and this board helped me to maintain my sanitity. Please tell your freind to come see it. Even if she just reads the stories, sometimes that helps also to see how other people are coping.
 
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09shelby responded:
Carli, First I want to tell you that you sound like a great friend and continue letting your friend know you are there for her! My son was born at 38 weeks and was stillborn, so I do understand your friends pain. I gave birth on Oct 31st (3 weeks ago). I am new to this board and also looking into other websites as well. Pleaselet your friend know you will always be there for her. And a piece of advice or thoughts for you would be: let her talk to you about her child when she is ready, don't ignore the elephant in the room so to say. Let her cry and listen to her, these are things my best friend has done to help me so far. My days are by no means great, as Isaid it has only been 3 weeks and it is not easy. Like you said delivering a baby and holding him/er (in my case my son) in my arms with no cry was so difficult. I prayed for a sign of life in him. I am thankful for the time we got to spend with him in the hospital though it was hard, I think it was good for us. Please tell your friend she is not alone! And let you be there for her when she is ready, assure her you are there.
 
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Kerrin78 responded:
My daughter was induced & arrived stillborn @36 weeks.

Most of my friends found it very hard supporting me as most of them had either no pregnancy complications or early miscarriages. Some of them, haven't even spoken to me since I gave birth just over 12 months ago because they think I don't want to hear from them cause they have healthy children (I'd never begrudge a parent that or want any parent to go through what my husband & I did). All I can suggest is be there for her if she needs it. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to & sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes, you just need time to yourself. Just let her know that you're there to support her if she needs you & let her come to you when she feels comfortable & ready.

Hugs
 
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crys0511 responded:
Carli, you are such a good friend to be there for her and to be seeking her help. As I am sure alot of people experienced after their losses alot of my friends just didn't call and when they saw me it was like oh life is normal. This board is slow but when you post people will answer, I just think it take a day or so. I lurk and check every few days. And there are people on here from all stages of loss, I was 22 1/2 wke when my water broke, I delivered my DD a few days later and she was born still. There are ealy losses and late losses but we are all here to offer support. Tell your friend she is welcome to join us anytime.
 
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KayP1 responded:
Hi Carlias, I have been posting on this board and the women here are very supportive. I understand your friend's loss is great and I can't imagaine what she is going through. Please, give her a hug from me and let her now I am thinking about her. I know some women on this board have experienced a still born birth and if she is comfortable, sharing her story does help. I have miscarried twice, the second time I got to see the heartbeat and then no heartbeat. I know what the pain feels like. I hope your friend finds her way and is able to get through this. It's hard and no one is execting her to jump on her feet and feel fine right away. It takes time. Best wishes. KP-
 
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MissMathis responded:
Hi I was looking at what you said and it is hard to cope with the loss of a baby I lost my baby at 36 week on 01/01/2007 I have had two kids after that but it still is hard thinking of what would she be like how would she look the only thing I can say is just be there for her for me talking about it was hard but when people just never said anything it made me feel like they don't care don't just bring it up but when you see her acting like something is just not right let her know you are here at any time of the day and you love he just knowing someone is there if you need them at like 3:00 am just makes you feel better I never called anyone at that time but to know that person was there just felt good
 
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fryejd responded:
I would love to talk /email her. I have a blog also Jessica-stillhere.blogspot.com
 
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lilangelaidan responded:
hi i know this happened 5 months ago but i am truly sorry i had a stillborn baby at 38wks i didn't even know anything was wrong i told my other little boys that the next time they'll see me ill have their baby brother but everything went wrong and for some reason i will never know he didn't make. You'll never get over i know i make through the days by going up in his nursery and looking at all his clothes and his pictures and remembering the short time i had him in me and the joy that he brought me in that short time
 
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jossanasmomma responded:
I just joined but I would suggest a therapy group for women who have had a stillborn. After 20 weeks there's the possibility of having to go through the delivery, so I'm sure anyone who's gone at least that far can relate at least somewhat to your friend. Good luck to both of you. What a good friend you are! She's lucky to have you!


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