Coping with Pregnancy Loss Community

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have heard that it could take your body approx 2 wks to realize that the baby is no longer thriving. There is nothing that I can say to make you feel better. These boards have been wonderful for me. I just had my 3rd loss 2 wks ago. Go back to fertility dr to discuss 3rd ivf attempt.

TAke care,
Marla

Thanks Marla for the info,i realy apreciate it.
Im also soo very sorry for your loss (BIG HUGG). Goodluck with the doc,i hope it works out.

{{HUGS}}

I lost 4 babies between 13 and 15 weeks, and for me, I found it was easiest to go get it taken care of - the 2 times I waited, I ended up in unbearable pain, and things did not go very well. I had induced labor with each pregnancy, but with the second and third I waited too long and it was just awful. You have to be a bit careful, if you wait too long you can get infection, etc. I understand wanting it to happen naturally but sometimes that's just worse. Talk to your doc about options so it all works out well - one of my inductions (3rd one) didnt go well and I ended up needing a D&C afterwards. My last m/c, I went and got induced at the hospital right away and it all went very smoothly. SO please keep that in mind. I hope it all works out as best as it can for you.

I am really sorry to hear of your loss. i understand about the waiting to see. we were told after we saw the heartbeat 2 weeks later that it was gone and i made them make me another appt. to check again a couple days later and then we made our decision. i did not want the d & c so i waited it took another week before it began.i did have slight to medium cramping and did opt for the pills but only took them after it started to speed it along. the sooner it is all done and you are tested and cleared the sooner you can try again if that is what you are going to do. naturally def. has a shorter recovery time. but please as we all say take time to heal. i posted under another thread about the process mine went through and what you may be able to expect. but you do need to follow up with your doctor because if it does not all get expelled it can cause an infection not to scare you but alot of people are not fully informed and i found knowing what to expect helped me keep my sanity.

my prayers are with you aand fell free to ask about anything or post if you are just having a bad day. there are alot of emotions that go along with the loss of an angel.

I'm so sorry for your loss..

would your doc be willing to do one more ultrasound to see the progress of a Natural M/C ? perhaps this would giv eyou more piece of mind and closure and then also get your second check to make sure they didn't make a mistake.

Did you see the Heartbeat before and not this time? or was this the first time you expected to see it?

Are your Numbers HCG going up? Staying the Same or Going down?

If they are Going down i would probably opt for the pills to avoid surgery but thats me.. If your numbers are still going up you could have a blighted ovum or they could of made an error.. there is another member on the board in a similar situation they are waiting a week for another u/s and will see where they are perhaps just not as far along as they thought..in this case they hasn't seen the heartbeat yet

Either way no decision in this matter is Easy. but you will need to deal with it in your way and i pray that you find your peace and closure with all this sooner or later and i really hope your DH can be supportive and understand your health is MUCH more important

Take care and come here for extra support ok? the ladies on here are WONDERFUL!

understand where you are coming from completely. i'm in the same spot as far as not wanting to believe this is really over goes. my numbers are still going up and i still feel the pregnancy symptoms in full swing. i was supposed to tell my doc what i decided the day after i got the news but i ended up seeing a different doc who was kind enough to do another ultrasound to put my mind at ease. well she ended up seeing a little line coming out of the yolk sac not sure if its the start of a baby or not but we are waiting another week to be sure. personally i can't end this pregnancy if there is even a .5% chance that this could be a viable pregnancy and i would recommend you do the same. doctors i think are all about being right and don't want to be questioned but this is your body, your angel, and your piece of mind. so if you need another ultrasound or a second opinion to make you confident in your decision or to help you find closure then push for it. i started spotting at 5weeks and it continued for 2 more weeks then stopped and the sac and everything is still in there so everyone is different. there is no way to know how long it will take for the bleeding to start. good luck. take time for yourself. and do what you need to do so that you can find closure and peace in this tragedy. remember your angel will always be with you.

I went to our first heart beat appt last year with my son and the baby's dad and they couldn't find the heartbeat. I should have been 11 weeks but the u/s showed the baby died at 8 weeks. They gave me the pills to start the miscarriage but it didn't work so I ended up having a D&C. I was glad b/c there was minimal bleeding and my period came normally.

thanks so much evryone for your suport ans advice.....it really means so much 2me.
I wish i had read all the advice abit earlier,i deff would hav chosen the D&C.
Tuesday my HCG level was 2.I went for another ultrasound on friday (i saw my baby again....just lying there
I decided to have the D&C on monday (tomorow),but yesterday i started bleeding heavily. everyting passed out...i saw my baby (i cant get that image out of my head).looked like a little olive....i could see the little eyes. i flushed my baby down the toilet(how could i do that).I wish the docter could have warned me that it was gona be this horible.

I'm so sorry!
What a terrible experience Please know that you did the only thing you could- I have read stories from many women who did the same, when you are not at a hospital there aren't really any options.
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby.

Lilai, I'm so sorry to hear you experience.

I had a IUFD at exactly 19weeks on May 12. The same situation, we went for an US and there was no heartbeat, after I had just been at the Dr. the day before and they had found the heartbeat with no problem. I couldn't induce labor, so I had a D&E performed surgically.

I know how raw and open and empty I feel right now, so I can imagine how you must feel. You are in my thoughts.

Amber

hey lilai ... im so sorry to hear about ur situation.
i too lost my baby a week a go. Last sunday i felt the best i've felt in 3 months but i had a slight orange color when i wiped after using the bathroom , but no cramps .. and since the night before my partner and i had sex i thought it might be from that, so i continued on with my day , by around 3 oclock i saw some mucusy blood and decided i had to have my self checked out .. in the E.R. i was full of hope because i felt fine ... wonderful in fact my bf was a mess but i calmed him down.. a dr. examined me and she said it was prob because of the sex but should still have a ultra sound (my first) i was so exited to hear the baby's heart beat.. when we got the ultrasound the ultrasound tech. couldn't find a baby... i was supposed to be 13 weeks .. i saw sadness overwhelm my bf's face.. she continued on and gave me a vaginal ultrasound in pain with a catherer on she said she had found it but unfortunaly there was no heart beat.... i was in shock, i couldn't believe it had happed to me!!! the one thing i feared coming into this!! ... my beautiful .. wonderful bf helped me get through it faster .. i went home still feeling fine but now completly heart broken i couldn't breathe i didn't wanna be alone .. the next day i decided i wasn't gonna let this break my spirit .. this baby was gonna be welomed to my family with opened arms but it just wasn't the time.. the next day we drove downtown and sat by the lake with my bf and dog.. questioning our future and if we were gonna try again.. Im 20 yrs old hes 25. some say im too young to be a mother .. but there is nothing i want more than to call a little bundle of joy my child. on tuesday i started having cramps and passind more tissue.. thats when i had an appt ,the dr. helped pass some of the bigger tissue with no pain and right now (monday) i still have slight bleeding but its getting better ...laughing again and waiting until october when we'll try again to have a SUMMER BABY :} hope the best to u and ur family.. sorry for all the rambling but know that it will get better.. i just hurt every time some one who doesn't know about the m/c ask how the bby is doing or says i dont look pregg at all !! next time we'll wait longer prob 5 months till we share our happiness with the world....

::::: badly bruised but not broken :::

saw wat i thought was a tiny arm .. im so sorry for u loss

lilai I am so sorry for your loss. I lost mine almost 2months ago. Every day things do get a little easier. I opted to let things pass naturally. It took about a week and a half from when I found out until passing. I wasn't told what to expect so when it happened I freaked out plus I was home by myself with my 13 month old. DH was 2 hours away at work.
I didn't take the pills or anything. I had some cramping and everything just happened.
It is a difficult decision but seeing everything pass can be very difficult emotionally. It is your decision albeit probably the most difficult one you will ever have to make but it may be easier to have a D&C. Hang in there and again I am so sorry. I can't tell you that the empty feeling will ever go away but we are all here for you. I wish you all the best

let me first say how sorry I am for your loss...

I can feel your pain, my hubby and I lost our first baby a week ago today. I keep crying and I can't sleep. We have been married for almost 11 years, and I can't say we tried, but we didn't use anything either. I have PCOS and didn't think I could get prego on my own so was very surprised when the test came out positive on Mother's day. We were so happy I couldn't beleive it was true. I had to wait until June 1st to make the dr appt because of new insurance, but was pretty sure after 3 HPT'S. we were on vac in michigan over memorial day weekend, I had just told my family (who all live in michigan) we're in FL that I was expecting on saturday. the next morning I started spotting I told my DH, mother and Aunt who told me to lay down, I stopped spotting then started to feel better. Had a little cramping that night but wasn't bleeding, later memorial day we were driving and I started cramping really bad got to the house used the bathroom and saw soo much blood I freaked out and we went to the ER. they did bloodwork and ultrasound both showed only 5weeks when i thought for sure atleast 7 weeks and no heartbeat, but the dr said they can't always find the heartbeat at 5 weeks. he sent me home on bedrest, and to come back in two days for repeat HCG test. after two scary horrible days I went back to the ER (still in MI) for them to tell me ( in the waiting room in front of people) that my numbers went from 1895 to 201 and I " most likely" had a miscarriage. My heart feels like it's breaking and even the littlest things make me cry. I go to the obgyn on thursday I hope everything is gone I'm scared of a D & C. My DH has been great and wants to try asap now that we know I can get pregnant, I've heard it's easier after a miscarriage because of the hormones hanging around, but I don't know how true that is. Thank you for letting me share my story any input would be helpful, only someone who has gone through it can really understand...