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6 days after I heard the heartbeat I miscarried.
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Joktm1 posted:
I would be at the end of my 8th week of pregnancy but I found out I misscarried today. Last week Friday I had an internal sonogram and heard the heart beat. It is so crazy how in 6 days your life changes. The doctor last week commented on how the heart beat was at a strong 133 and today there wasn't one.
My husband is sad too so I am trying to keep my tears from him and let him him know that this pregnancy wasn't meant to be. It was our first and I am 29. My DNC is tomorrowand I don't know what I should ask the doctor. I took today and tomorrow off work but I know it will be akward on Monday.
My 3 dogs are even acting funny. One is whining off and on and all 3 of them are hiding around the house. I know I am not asking anything, I am just trying to wrap my head around this for tomorrow.
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Mandy_Smiles responded:
I am so sorry for your loss. I had a D&C back in April and I was in the 13th week when we lost our baby. I can relate to the pain that you are feeling and remember that you need to put yourself first right now. It is life changing and everyone on this board is here to help and support you.

I went back to work entirely too early after our loss and I just sat at my desk and cried. The first 2 days I went back I had to leave early because I couldn't stop crying. The 3rd day I just had to make it clear that I didn't want anyone to say ANYTHING to me all day. I made it through that day without crying at work. If you feel like you need more time off and you aren't ready to go back Monday then don't force yourself to get back into the normal routine until you are ready to do so.

I also tried to keep my tears from my husband but he could hear me when I would wake up in the middle of the night crying. Even though I tried to have a strong front, he knew. You should lean on each other right now and don't try to hold in the tears because it doesn't work. I had to remind myself, for better or for worse. you will get through this together. Hold onto each other for dear life. Cry when you feel like you need to cry. You have to let it out.

My dog also knew something was going on. Dog's are very smart and they sense more than we could ever realize. I cried with my dog a lot. She is a lab/malamute mix and she would lean in on me and let me cry on her. She is the best.

The D&C is surgery and typically there is cramping and bleeding for several days following the procedure. Everyone is different and everyone's bodies have different reactions. I didn't have much bleeding after wards but I had a lot of cramping and bloating for over a month after. It is 2 months later and I can just now say that I am feeling back to normal again. When you have a D&C you have to allow yourself to heal before trying again. Right now you need to allow yourself to time to wrap your mind around what has happened and do what comforts you. If you feel like crying, then cry. If you don't feel like getting out of the house, don't go anywhere. If you don't want talk to anyone, turn your phone off. Just remember that you have to do what is best for you right now. Once again, I am very sorry for your loss. *HUGS*
 
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teacherbeck replied to Mandy_Smiles's response:
I agree completely with MandySmiles. When I lost my little one last summer @ 20 wks, it was the one time I didn't feel guilty for doing what was best for ME. I only answered my phone when I wanted, I took almost 2 weeks off work (and still cried all the way home from work the first week or two I went back!), and every night, no matter how positive the evening was, I curled up to DH and bawled my eyes out. Please feel free to do whatever you need to do to begin healing from this sadness. Let DH know how you feel so you can come through this together, stronger.
My DH did worry about me at first, but I kept telling him "I'm OK, I just need to cry and grieve." I also read some books on grieving the loss of a child/ pregnancy and I would show portions to DH and say, "See honey, I really am OK/ normal!" so that kept him from worrying too much that I was losing my mind.
My D&C recovery was much like the previous poster. I was scared out of my mind about it, but turns out the emotional part was way more difficult than the physical.
((((hugs))))) Post anytime you need to!
 
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Joktm1 replied to teacherbeck's response:
My D&C is in a few hours I finally get to speak with my dr. A different dr. gave me the bad news yesterday.
My husband is upset because I am taking calls and he doesn't understand why. The hardest part of all this is the grieving differently and i think he is upset with himself because I found out by myself. We are going through this together and he is hugging me but I notice the difference. I know not everyone grieves the same.
My job notified me yesterday by sending a co-worker to my house, that I can take all of next week off. I have been cramping and bleeding all this week and they were able to see how uncomfortable I am/was.
I took your advice of allowing myself to cry when ever I felt it come on. I found myself tearing up at the chineese restaurant.
Thank you for all of your support.


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