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Went out with friends... cried the whole way home...
Mandy_Smiles posted:
We lost our baby back in April at 13 weeks and these last few weeks we have been trying to focus on TTC. We went to our friend's house for the 4th of July and a woman that was there was pregnant and due in 2 weeks. Our friends have a 4 year old and they seem to complain a lot about his hyperactive behavior when we think he is just being a kid. I forgot to mention that we just reconnected with these friends so they had no idea that we were even pregnant. So the entire night they talked about babies. They talked about the good, the bad, the ugly. They just seemed to complain about the fact that in 2 weeks the baby will be in the world and they will have to start changing diapers and staying up all night. She also went on and on about how she refuses to even try to breast feed. I just sat there in silence. I didn't have anything to say. I felt like getting up on the table and screaming at the top of my lungs because we have been TTC for a long time now and we have had no success. We TTC a long time before I was pregnant too. When they started talking about how they had to get a Diaper Genie and how they can't believe all of this stuff they have to buy for the baby, I just went to my happy place and tried to just zone out. When we hit 12 weeks my husband and I went out and got a Diaper Genie and some other stuff to celebrate getting past that milestone. Finally my husband made up a lie and said that we had to be somewhere at a certain time and got me out of there. I cried in the car the entire way home. I thought I was doing better lately but I just couldn't keep the tears in. I just think that they don't realize how lucky they are to have the blessing of a child. I just needed to vent a little. What a happy 4th of July, huh...
teacherbeck responded:
I'm sorry the evening turned out that way. You never know when something is going to trigger you and make you sad (or mad!). But when all those emotions resurface, it can be difficult.
I agree that it is hard to hear others complain when you'd give anything to be in their shoes. I just tell myself they don't understand, and therefore they take it for granted.
Glad we have a place to vent where we're understood!

Hope you are having a better week
LauraSNJ responded:
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry not only for your loss but for the unpleasant evening! I remember so well being in your shoes and being downright angry at people for not realizing what they have and at the time, I couldn't seem to have it to, as much as I wanted it. I have an interesting perspective now, I think, since I struggled for so long to have a child and did eventually have one (he's 17 months old now). I know how it feels to be a parent, too, and so now I know where "the other side" is coming from, too.

Just know that everything you're feeling is totally normal and that it's OK to cry when you need to. Sending you lots of big hugs! Keep the faith and keep trying, it's the best you can do.
Laura (29), Sean (33), PAL baby Parker (2/6/09) - our miracle! Miscarriage @ 11w5d 10/06, Miscarriage @ 12w2d 1/07, Chemical Pregnancy 7/07, Ectopic Pregnancy 8/07, LEEP 1/08
Mandy_Smiles responded:
Thanks for the replies! Today is a better day. That is all that we can hope for sometimes, that each day is better than the last. I do not doubt that once we have a baby we will have a different perspective. I find myself longing for the moment someday where I am holding my baby and smelling the baby scent in it's hair. I know, that sounds crazy, I look forward to smelling my baby. There are many little things I find myself longing for recently, but I am no longer crying myself to sleep at night anymore. Day by day I am a little more OK. I really don't want to hang out with those friends again but I can't hold it against them because they had no idea that we lost our baby. Well, I successfully vented for the week. Thanks for being here!

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