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Lost baby at 10 Weeks
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mjchristensen posted:
We lost our baby at 10 weeks it's so painful I can hardly function. We knew something was wrong at our first appointment when the doctor didn't find a yolk sac. Two days later I got my blood redrawn, told my blood level went down, had an emergency ultrasound then told I had to have a D & C. It's so hard losing our first baby and seeing all the things we had bought to prepare. Seeing and talking to my best friend that is pregnant is very painful and hard for me to handle, I've been avoiding her to protect myself. The most painful thing is that my sister in law is pregnant as well but will the same due date as what I had with our baby and having the knowledge that her baby is fine so far is very hard for me, I feel so selfish but can't seem to help myself. I feel like I can't get back on my feet. I'm trying to find a support group to try and get help.
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babyangelwings10 responded:
I'm VERY sorry of your loss. I was in a simular situation... 8 weeks preg. and miscarried. My cousins wife and I were due two weeks apart from one another. The miscarriage was SO overwhelming and painful for me. I went to a therapist and am now on an anti-depressant for the time being. Not pushing the meds. thing but it CAN be temporary helpful! Take care!
 
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BabySamba responded:
Your story made me cry. We lost our first baby after 6 1/2 weeks on Tuesday, September 21, 2010. It was the worst pain of my life. My baby wasn't growing and I had to let the baby go. I started cramping on my own on Monday but then my doctor said to use the meds to help it pass. Now I am so sad. I don't want to be around anyone who is pregnant and everywhere I go that all I see pregnant women. Even on TV. I just get so upset. Now my niece, who is younger than me is pregnant and I don't want to be around her. It was her birthday but I just couldn't go over and do the family thing. I just feel bad that I can't see her. I mean it happened only a few days ago. I go back to work on Monday and I work in an elementary school. I don't know if I can do it. My husband says that maybe I need to go to a therapist but I just don't want to yet. I feel I just need some time for me. I don't know this just sucks. Why does this happen to women who really want a family. Take care and hopefully you want to talk because I need someone to talk to too.
 
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RachelNuke responded:
I am sorry for your loss. I had a MC at 6 1/2 wks in 11/08. It will be hard to get past, but it does get easier. I wouldn't talk to anyone I knew that was preggo or had kids for months. I was so jealous of everyone else I knew with children or that was preggo. The thing that helped me most was just letting them know that I needed some time to reflect on what had happened. Tell them you are happy for them, but you don't want to talk to them for awhile becuase it hurts. If you know others that have had a MC, talk to them. It will take time for it to hurt less, but it will eventually. Be selfish if you have to for awhile. You just lost your baby, don't feel bad about not wanting to talk to someone else because their happy situation makes you hurt worse.

Don't spend all your time dwelling on what could have been either. Try to do something to keep your mind off of it for awhile if you get really bad. I found that playing with my dogs helped a lot. Also, don't give up, you can try again. But don't start trying again until you are ready, and just remember you probably won't be as excited the second time you get pregnant because you will be so scared that you will lose the baby again.

Definitely don't listen to anyone who tells you how to feel or what to expect if they haven't been through it themselves.(like anyone who tells you just to get over it - I had a few of those, they would say something like "well, at least it was early"... I don't care how far along you are, when you lose one, you lose one and it still hurts the same)

Just remember to give yourself time to think about it, but don't let it take over your whole life. And if you don't feel like being around certain people or talking to them, don't. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

Good luck to you, and hope you find someone to talk to.
 
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mjchristensen replied to babyangelwings10's response:
Thank you so much for advice. I have started some anti-depressants and they seem to be working. Thanks again
 
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mjchristensen replied to BabySamba's response:
I hope that this gets easier for you. I know that I can have good and bad days and it seems like my bad days can be really really bad but I know that God has a reason and that my baby is with him safe and well. I know how your feeling and how alone it may seem. I know that some times every day task seem overwhelming but I continue to push through. My husband is very supportive and he helps me pray a lot and cray a lot. Let me know how your doing.
 
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mjchristensen replied to RachelNuke's response:
Thank you for the support. Its nice to know that I don't have to rush to feel a certain way or to act like people want me to act. Everyday seems to get better I just need to know that I can take my time. Thank you again.
 
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BabySamba replied to mjchristensen's response:
Thanks for your thoughts. I went back to work on Monday and I am doing ok. I had a heart to heart with myself and with God. If I want to try and get pregnant again, I need to make sure that I am strong enough for it. So I am going back to eating healthy and a little bit of walking. I will never forget my baby I lost but I will be a better mother for it. I have faith. I know that there will be bad days but I have a great support system with my family and friends. Thanks for responding, it made me feel like someone who knows what I'm feeling is listening. Hope your doing well and God Bless.
 
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danisha0921 responded:
I want everyone to know that Spiritual therapy also helps. I had two miscarraiges, both happened due to my water breaking too soon. If it had not been for prayer, and my family I would not have made it through. Understand, that you are not alone, there is someone who has suffered this great lose as well, it may be our husband, your mother, or even your sisters and brothers.They may even be an Aw, that you are here on your computer talking to us about this, and not them! I say this, because it is good to talk to your family and God in a time like this, or someone who has suffered the same lose. It may also help if the person who lost their baby, is someone you know and care about. I was really hurt by my lose. I lost my first at 17 weeks and my second at 21 weeks, they were both girls. I have yet to become pregnant again. I feel when you have a miscarriage, it is healthy both mind and body to take a break. I say this because I wanted to become pregnant soon after my first miscarriage, and when I lost my sencond, I was almost at a point of no return. So take time, learn your body, talk to doctors, and be prepared, because it may happen again. God Bless you and take care.
 
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anjuls replied to BabySamba's response:
Hey you, I know how you feel. I was 7 weeks to the day, lost the baby on September 24th. I'm so sorry for you, I think were suppose to resent the world for awhile, and I think its ok to be selfish and take care of ourselves, even if it means alienating ourselves from family or friends for awhile. If you need someone to talk to you can contact me. My husband and I planted a baby spruce in memory of our baby, I don't know I just found it helpful, maybe even a little healing. It's in our backyard, I can see it everyday. I plan on adding a garden around it little by little. Just a way of remembering our little one, because I don't want to forget. Maybe it would be helpful to you to. Your not alone.
 
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BabySamba replied to anjuls's response:
Hey, I am sorry for your loss too. Being part of this site and talking to others has been helpful. Sometimes it's just hard to face others and talk about my feelings, so I like sharing my thoughts here. Everyone here has the same pain. I think that your idea of planting something in memory of my little one is a great idea. I was mentioning it to my husband and he likes the idea too. He thinks that it's good that I am talking with others who have gone through what I have. I don't really have a "Best" friend who has gone through a baby loss. Thanks for your kind words. Your not alone either. Take Care.


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